WIN! A Badass Borderlands Xbox 360 Prize Pack

WIN! A Badass Borderlands Xbox 360 Prize Pack

Every day this week we’re giving away some badass Borderlands swag plus a copy of the game on Xbox 360. If you’d like to win, read on.

UPDATE: Monday’s draw closed at midnight. Entries received after midnight are ineligible. Tuesday’s draw is now open.

Thanks to our good friends at 2K Games each day this week we’ll be giving away the following:

* A copy of Borderlands for Xbox 360 * A Borderlands t-shirt * A Borderlands mug * A Borderlands kitbag * A Borderlands notebook * A Boderlands cap * And a Borderlands retro tape player USB

Borderlands is the imminent – it’s out on Thursday! – role-playing shooter from Gearbox Software. It might not be the Citizen Kane of games, but it is – in the words of Gearbox president Randy Pitchford – totally badass. We’ve played it, several times in fact, and we dig it.

One of the more intriguing aspects of the game is its procedurally generated weapon system, which randomise a host of factors to ensure that you’ll rarely find two weapons that are the same. Gearbox claim there are more weapons in Borderlands than in every other shooter this console generation combined.

But perhaps you can come up with a weapon they haven’t got.

To be in the running to win, we want you to describe the Borderlands weapon you’d use to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Leave your weapon name and description in the comments below. Humour and creativity will be rewarded, as per usual Kotaku competition lines.

To be eligible for today’s draw, you must leave your comment by midnight tonight. You’re allowed one entry per day. If you want to enter in tomorrow’s draw, you must comment on that post with a brand new weapon idea.

Good luck!

[Terms and Conditions]


  • The Chroma-Cannon

    Forces a sudden change in art direction for your foe. Has a Slowing effect. Also causes Shame for the Project Lead. 5% chance of target no longer fitting with the new direction and being removed

  • The Eraser:

    A giant cylindrical wooden housing is the barrel of this weapon, model number HB, at it’s end is where the real damage is done. A enormous rubbery knub.

    Your cel shaded enemies shall fear you as tale of your ability to literally scrub them from existence spreads. Each conquered foe leaving a tell tale grey smudge on the tip of your weapon.

  • the eraser

    a large pencil shaped object, that fires objects that resemble rubbers it has 30% chance of removing limbs and or parts of the body. as well as its large amount of damage it also has a chance of stunning the enemy.

  • “The Ham canon” allows you to take an enemies head off with any small-goods lying around the wasteland. examples such as soccer ball ham, mortadella, a Devon roll, or a nice solid stick of salami.

    Doesn’t work so well with shaved meats as they are really only useful for giving your enemies a gentle slapping.

  • Sugar Launcher

    Deceptively shaped like a normal bazooka, this particular weapon is a rarity as it is sold to both the young and old.

    This launcher shoots a missile that contains 5 kg of sweet raw sugar, pressurized within the missile. On impact, rather than exploding, the missile shell collapses and the raw sugar explodes into a dust of sweet sweet dust.

    This is popular among survivors as the sugar can be used to sustain their sweet-tooth.

    To an expert though, this weapon can be used to attract the deadliest atomic insects that are attracted to the sweet taste of raw sugar. Their are tales of men having their fleshed ripped out by the insects after just one shot of the sugar launcher.

    “Sweet” indeed.

  • The Recursion Cannon:

    I shoulder mounted launcher that fires the player as a projectile, fully equipped with a Recursion Cannon that fires the player as a projectile.

  • The Fried Chicken Generator

    Why kill someone when you can distract them with tasty fried chicken?

    The best part, is that the ammo clip is a huge KFC bucket!

  • Name: The Trident
    It would be a Sniper rifle-like gun in appearance, looking like a normal sniper rifle but with a trident-like end that shoots three bullets. Where in many games, you will have one shot for a headshot, this rifle will show three different crosshairs. When the rifle shoots, a flail-like object in which three bullets (shooting from said crosshairs) are interconnected by an elastic cable will shoot from the end. The two bullets on the outside will stick to objects so that if one were to shoot with a side crosshair aimed at a wall of a corner, that bullet would stick and centripetal force would send the bullet around the corner. The cable would then snap, changing the bullet’s trajectory by 90 to 180 degrees. If you were to slightly miss someone’s head, the elastic cord could wrap around its head, still causing damage. It headshots like a normal sniper rifle, permitting several different types of play: outdoor areas permit traditional sniper roles, while if you are in an indoor area at a corner you can still send shots from a safe distance. This addition of indirect combat to the sniper role will allow players to expand on the concept of long-range combat and lets them send pot shots around corners and over walls in the hope of hitting an enemy.

  • “The Adaptor”

    A legendary gun varied in size and whatever the gun touches it will shoot it. Its a new like alien technology. endless possabilities, fun to use and you could even shoot bood if you wanted to. This form of gun has multiple uses to fit everyone. It stores information on everything the gun touches so it can change ammo at any time. Like a dictionary pciking out words.

    Class: Unknown
    Damage: Unknown
    Creater: GOD
    Level to use: 1

    “Think you can handle it”

  • Creationists Commandments Cannon

    Extremely heavy Weapon – Fires a volley of rounds, of an assumedly holy variety, in the form of punishments for all the felonious sins of man. From giant crushing golden cows to a plethora of slow killing STD’s, this weapon is truly a force of destruction for all those looking to rain down heavenly justice on the scum of Borderlands.

  • Gun Gun, A weapon that fires other weapons that you will inevitably run out of ammo for (Due to every weapon being different, hence likely having different ammo)

  • The “Mainstreamer”

    An oversized, Compensation-Class beam weapon with a lightsaber bayonet attached, the mainstreamer strips originality and risk-taking behaviour from its targets in a storm of flayed ideas and charred sales projections. Especially effective against any entities that are not generic storm troopers crouched in the rubble of your civilizations’ past.

    It leaves its victims as grim, taciturn protagonists with painful pasts in third-person cover shooters plagued with texture pop and an inexplicably sudden threat to existance that only unnecessarily bulky body armour can defeat.

  • The Limb launcher

    The only weapon to embrace climate change by using a renewable ammunition source, the Limb Launcher is best described as a marriage between a woodchipper and a flak cannon. Because in the badlands, nothing says ‘bad’ than shaming your enemies by tearing them apart using the broken bones of their comrades!

  • The LIVE-Fanboy Launcher

    it launches a fat, greasy fifteen-year-old kid at the target that lands on their face and proceeds to teabag them while calling them a “homo fag” and insults the target’s art direction which looks “totally gayer” than MW2.

    The gun does not deal a huge amount of damage. Rather, it confuses the target as the kid’s voice echoes over and over through his own speakers and headset, allowing you then to finish off the disorientated, paralyse target with a more traditional (one may even say more sophisticated) firearm.

  • The “F.O.S.” (Fist Of Salvation)

    Primary fire: jesus
    Secondary fire: incendiary jesus

    excellent when fighting off things that are not jesus…

    • that is so epic win… so simple, yet effective… i especially love the secondary “incendiary jesus” rounds…

    • Fists of Salvation has my vote – ROFLMAO!

      I too was thinking of the Chickenator but see it has already been mentioned twice… 🙁

  • I would create a ridonculously overpowered hand gun that looks like pure death incarnate.

    Its accuracy, damage, rate of fire and clip size are so vastly superior to anything else, The Player weeps tears of pure joy when stumbling across this unique item just before the final boss.

    They load it up, shriek with nervous excitement and face off against the Big Bad.

    They line up the boss right between the sights, say “Hasta la Vista, baby” or some such kick-assery. They squeeze on the trigger and gun fires… blanks.

  • The Texan Hoe-Down
    A handy double barrel shotgun that emits the alluring tone of the Hoe-down so that all the RedNeck enemies will drop their weapons and rage and start dancing, while I sneak behind them and snap their necks with my bare hands like a real man should.

  • The Glue Gun.

    For making beaded anklets and pasta necklaces for you and your friends. Just because it’s the apocalypse doesn’t mean we can’t all get along, right?

  • A little item I like to call the Freddie Prinze Jr. gun. Causes the target to stare at you intently mouth agape followed by much unconvincing begging for mercy. This all ensures that the target is much easier and more rewarding a kill in spite of the relative ease.

    Behind the scenes to this entry: So what if a copy of the Wing Commander movie was sitting near my desk?

  • I’d create the bubble bobble gun. I trap all my damm enemies into giant bubbles and then bounce on their heads to finish them off. :0)

  • The Boring Cannon

    Roughly resembling a shotgun with an oversized barrel, the Boring Cannon is useful for killing enemies and collecting scraps whenever the situation requires. By sucking up and using any scrapmetal around it, it uses borderline impossible technology to form it’s ammunition. The bullets it fires are drill-tipped, boring holes into any and all objects they happen to be pointed at. The more metal it absorbs before firing, the larger the shell.

  • I wonder if their is a good old home made Potatoe launch in it… launch fresh fruit and veg at all those enemies…

  • SBNM “Sonic brown noise maker”

    Weapon Effects:
    Fires a pulse of pure awesomeness otherwise know as the brown noise note. Upon contacting with the enemy the sonic blast will cause the victim to instantly begin projectile vomiting and defecating. All nearby enemys not effected by the blast will run for the hills. Extended exposure will cause the victim to exponentially shrink as they lose body mass.

    Hmmmm maybe i should have called it the midget maker 2000.

    A cardboard airzooka with a special piece of metal in the center made to resonant at the brown noise frequency when a blast of air vibrates over it. Industrial quality ear plugs are required by law when operating the weapon. God forbid work place health and safety finding out you’ve been using it without them.

  • “The Middle-aged Man”

    This fearful rocket launcher amplifies horrible, horrible jokes to near-deafening levels at your enemies. Upon contact, neither bandit nor skag will be able to defend from the HIDEOUSLY BAD JOKES. A utility weapon of sorts, the jokes will not harm the enemy, but leave them in a groaning, paralyzed state, wondering how in the world a joke so terrible could be said aloud.

    From extensive muzzle-burn, a ‘moustache’ of black has appeard on the end of the gun, reminding every foe of their own middle-aged male relative who inspires such horrible puns

    “With 87 Bazillion puns!”

  • “The Orgasmatron 3000”
    Designed to incapacitate the victim in a state of …. happy feelings. While you switch to a more stabby, shooty type of gun.
    Good for up close kills and giving the receiver a last moment of joy.

    PS: Can be used on self at lower settings.

  • Mettalium

    An awesome gun that emmits awesome heavy metal tune. All enemies that are fired upon will start bleeding through their eys and ears and their brains will melt due to the awesomeness of the tune. Once they ahve bleed out their remains will turn into metal.
    PS. the enemies that are turend in to metal statues can be melted down tomake more ammunation and guns…

  • The Pie Launcher

    Fires large sticky lemon meringue pies which cause no real damage. However, if the target is hit in the head, the pie blinds them and makes them panic, firing wildly at the nearest noise. If used correctly this could give a squad of enemies an unexpected attack from within

  • K.F.G (Kotaku Fish Gun)
    Shoots from small – large pink kotaku fish at your enemy. These fish are brutal! Once they are fired they have a 10 second life span, they will devour anything that’s inappropriate.

  • The Detroit Special.

    This gun is a large Two handed rifle, Muzzle loaded and only really able to fire one round at a time, it fires large metal stakes. Built into each spike is a speaker and bass system able to pump out noises to distract, attract or annoy the enemy. Anything from static to supersonic noise to Fedde Le Grand’s “Put your hands up for Detroit”.

    The music has confused many, With most unable to resist putting their hands up and dancing, making it easy for the operator to get the drop on them.

  • The Land Border

    Creating sovereign states wherever it appears, leaving tensions and strains of border disputes wherever it is used and ever increased in the name of “progress”.

  • Kanye Cannon

    When first fire it appears as though nothing happened, but then everytime the targeted enemy try to fire, run or perform any kind of action, Kanye interupts them with an ‘Imma let you finish speech’ allowing giving the player time to do what’s neccessary.

  • T.D.R.S.G aka The Dunny Roll Shot Gun

    Movies have shown that in worst case scenarios there is only one true resource that must be fought for, and that is the soft, soft sheet which is worth its weight in gold. The dunny roll.

    While it doesn’t seem like the most deadly weapon, its beauty shines through when walking past a bush and you hear some big fella* asking for a favour. Shoot him and he will love you forever, thus securing you a follower who will take a rpg to the face for you! Before you know it, you’ll have a legion of grateful *friends ready to take on the world for you!

    *Owning a T.D.R.S.G does not guarantee that the people you shoot wont mug you later for the weapon themselves, to get the most out of a T.D.R.S.G, make sure you buy a second to ensure maximum safety.

  • The Portal-inator 6000 – Creates a transportation portal beneath a target and a destination portal roughly 6000 feet above them. Target not only falls through portal to a quick death, but also learns a valuable (if not short lived) lesson in gravity.

  • the Badgerpult 3000!

    A compact version of the traditional siege weapon combined with the frothing carnivorous fury of an angry Badger. Bringing new meaning to the term ‘live’ ammo, the badger will continue to attack the target for up to 90 seconds, causing significant health damage and permanent emotional scarring.

    Call 1800-BADGER in the next hour and you will receive a free weasel shotgun and reinforced ammunition pouch.

  • “The Game Master’s Staff + 3”

    This ancient shotgun of unknown origins (Soon to be explained in a series of lengthy novels.) Has been past down from game admin to game admin since the start of coding.

    Its uses are many are decided on the go with a dice roll:

    1. Misfire, the gun turns to flubber and oozes from your hands onto the floor as your enemies glance at you with a confused look.

    2-4. Gun fires normally.

    5. Boomheadshot, auto-aimed head shot (Not available in PC version of the game.)

    6. 25% chance of Timestop. Oh yes, a chance within a chance of casting a time freeze spell allowing you to walk around and pick of your enemies or pose them into compromising positions.

    The gun has been said to have a voice of its own, often reminding those who stray from the team that they must gather their party before venturing forth.

  • My weapon would be called the iKill 2.0

    It would use an assortment of terrible advertising tactics to make my foes laugh themselves to death…….although it would be a limited edition weapon due to the fact that it would be recalled because of the stupidity of the title!

  • Moron Launcher
    It shoots high velocity morons at the target with moronic results. The moron explodes on impact turning everyone near by into a moron that runs into another, and turns him into a moron and so on and so forth.
    May be ineffective on Xbox Live

  • The ‘Just give it to me, I’m greedy’ gun,

    Shoots competition copies of xbox360 version of Borderlands in a possibly futitle attempt to ammuse specifically a person that goes by the name ‘David Wildgoose’

  • The Hand Gun –

    As displayed in the above image the hand gun attaches to your hand as a compact and ultra portable glove, stylish enough to impress friends and family.

    When attached this glove allows you to point and aim concentrated bursts of telekenetic powers, no more need to lug around kilo’s and kilo’s of ammunition!

    Works well on: Rats, Bandits and Mother in Laws

    Does not work well on: The Brick, Cattle and congested traffic.

    RRP $99.95 from all good retailers
    (not recommended for use by people under the age of 10 years)

  • Phat Looter.

    Using the amazing power of science, the Phat Looter will suck up all available loot from enemies in a 100 meter radius. Without needing to kill them!

    But thats not all! The phat Looter’s secondary fire mode will launch all sub-par or useless loot back at the enemy dealing huge damage! Just in case they
    want their loot back!

  • Aesop’s Rifle

    Reflecting the traditions and morals that humanity had in the PC filled, weak excuse for existence that we know as ‘pre-apocalyptic society’, this gun fires a bullet that travels at approximately 1 metre per second, and does 375 thousand damage on contact.

    Alternate fire: causes all currently fired bullets to fall asleep in mid air and drop to the ground, harmless and full of anger toward tortoises.

  • The Shane Warne aka Warney

    A hybrid weapon part cricket bat part mobile phone. Unleash hell in close quarters combat with your Warney. A swift hookshot to the head will keep any enemy at bay. Foes at a distance? No problem! Just bombard them with awkward sexual advances through text message for best results. Because we all know psychological warfare is the best way to win, deterring the enemy from fighting.


    Perfect for walking the post-apocalyptic streets of Kings Cross. Ideally used for blowing “wogs” away that hit on your sister and for sticky situations when bombarded by blood thirsty paparazzi.

  • The Mobius Gun

    Created on a distant planet in another galaxy, the act of which caused that planets destruction and sent the gun hurtling through space until it landed on the surface of [insert Borderlands planet here].

    The Mobius gun uses physics that were barely understood by its now dead creators and was chambered with only a single bullet. The bullet acts like normal when fired from the gun up untill it impacts with an object. That object appears to rapidly shrink and fold in on its self whilst flying towards the horizon.

    The object has instead been launched outside of time and space where it continues to gain velocity. When the Mobius gun is fired again the object unfolds out of the barrel of the gun, its velocity determined by the amount of time it has spent outside of space and time, if it’s been only a few seconds it might only clear a couple of metres if it has been over a week, near light speed could be acheived.

    Before the object is propelled from the gun the bullet that caused its demise is returned to the guns chamber ready to use again.

    Note: sorry for the shoddy physics.

  • The Atomic Hammer

    This is the ultimate “If I Go, We ALL Go” weapon. Once drawn, the hammer is primed. You hit something, it detonates (it’s an atomic weapon!) You drop it, it detonates.

    The key to beating someone with an Atomic Hammer is you surrender – someone wielding one is obviously too crazy to bargain with.

  • Three Dog-otron

    A weapon that implants repeated news casts which are often well outdated into the minds of its victims. Inevitably this drives the target insane resulting in a messy suicide.

  • The Rick-o-Natrix

    This gun has a loudspeaker built in that plays “Never gonna give you up”. Enemies will be like “OH LOLOL, you got m-” by which time you will have shot them in the face.

    Comes with free earplugs for sanity’s sake.

  • The “Patriot”

    Added very late in the development process at great expense, this gun shoots unicorns and non-copyright-infringing bear shaped creatures with love hearts on their bellies.

    Upon impact, instead of blood or the much dreaded decapitation, enemies will spew rainbows from their unicorn-holes. Their bodies will disappear into a shower of sparkles and either a photo of kittens, babies or puppies will be left behind on the ground instead of a corpse.

    The game will also now be rated E for everyone and each disc will be signed by Michael Atkinson.

  • The N-Gun is a mobile telephone and handheld gun combination, created by Gokia; including both the functionality of a 9mm handgun and mobile phone technology from the early 2000’s in one. Firing the gun requires the user to first turn the safety off by pressing the select button and # at the same time, and while using the phone component the user is required to hold the gun on its side, with the barrel pointing towards the users feet, using the call button positioned near the trigger to initiate/end a call. Ammunition of many varieties can be found at any local Gokia store, but unfortunately the ammunition is poorly created and inaccurate for overly expensive prices, requiring the gun to be fully disassembled to replace ammunition types or to reload. The mobile phone functionality clearly makes it superior to its closest competitor, the Gunboy advance.

  • The Gun Gun

    When you’re roaming a post-apocalyptic wasteland, you need a weapon that’s practical. We know it can be tough to find one that will cater for your every need.

    That’s why we invented the Gun Gun, the new ultimate device that will cater to every situation with intelligence, finesse, and a cool ‘ding’ sound. Pulling the trigger of the Gun Gun will shoot out a new gun, but not just any gun. The Gun Gun (called the Gun² by the nerds at the lab) will analyse your current situation with special (almost magical) sonar waves and dispense the best gun for the job direct to your spare hand.

    The awesomeness doesn’t stop there. Forgotten flowers for that special someone? The Gun Gun will not only produce those flowers, but it will give you her favourite. So if you want to survive the monstrous hordes of the wasteland, or just get lucky tonight, make sure to pack a Gun Gun in your pants pants today.

    (now available for the Gun Gun: the Holster Holster)

  • The Doggy doo

    Its basically a brown paper bag of dog poop that’s lit on fire and thrown at offending parties. Works like a Molotov but has the added effects (where it is not lethal) stink lines emerge from the character highlighting map position.

  • A combination of the Half Life 2 Gravity Gun and a sharp, pointy stick. Attract your opponents towards a pointy demise.

  • The Cotton Candy Gun.

    Remenecent of the wonderful days of cheesy 80’s horror movie lore, the cotton candy gun bounds its enemies in a big ball of girly-pink cotton candy.Dementia will strike your opponent upon exit of the candy, where they will suddenly have the urge to wear spinning ties and throw pies in the oppositions face, causing temporary blindness. Also upon exit of the pink goo, players character appearence will change permanently to that of a freakishly deformed clown unless you find a mirror and recite Hershel Krustofskys name 3 times. You have the email, now send me my Borderlands, I have many wastelands needing a muck ran on and there’s only one guy to do it, the bad ass right here with the cotton candy gun! Mmm tasty and deadly!

  • Gary Coleman launcher,

    fire a Gary Coleman at an enemy, and seeks them out to find out what exactly they are talking about and assumes the enemies name is always willis.

    Wouldn’t do much damage though.

  • A simple but effective tool, Not sure how much scenery blows up. But what is ever wrong with a great nice 4×2 wood with nails sticking out of it. Nothing said own like a timber stuck to your forehead :).

  • I’d make the 1984 MJ Thriller Launcher

    Let this baby off and it drops a retro 1980’s Ghetto Blaster blaring out Thriller that no minion of the Apocalypse can resist!
    As they spend the next 6 minutes breaking out in some of the most obscene dance moves in history, I can either have my way with a handy chainsaw while they are all nicely lined up, or just get the hell out of dodge! (my personal pref would be to get the hell out as I wouldn’t want to run the risk of becoming a shambling zombie from simply listening to that blasted song :P)

    And on top of it all, as the music prgresses, the bosses actually migrate to the front in order to maximize screen time! hahaha

  • The Squirrel

    Legend tells of the Squirrel,possibly the worlds most annoying “Weapon”, because giving it the name weapon is an insult to other weapons. Getting back to the legend…

    Legend tells us that the Squirrel was used to annoy mothers, to poke bears and where possible, entertain cats. It has no practical application, just, annoy. Legends also tell us that it was made by two guys called Bubba,these legends passed down by tomes of beer slabs inform us that should the sun and the moon ever get into a fist fight, then the squirrel will arrive, that or someone called Sheila will beak up the fight with a broom, which ever really. No one is really able to translate the beer slab tomes as the method of reading leads to the method of imbibing, then to the method of doing something really stupid followed closely by the method of I love you man, seconded only be the method of taking the piss out of you.

    Used by Shamans, hobos, priests, monkeys, Court Jesters with nothing better to do then to use the Squirrel to annoy whom every they are meant to be entertaining, the Squirrel has no great purpose to it. It mere annoys the both user and foe alike until a death match cage battle is announce with the Squirrel as foe, victim and winner all at the same time. (Remember the beer tomes? Yeah…think about it)

    The Squirrel it self is just a dead rodent on a stick, it can be any rodent or life form sentient or other wise, although the Beer Tome Writers do inform the user not to make their own versions of the Squirrel from the super mutant rats and the like as there isn’t a stick big enough. Instead, they opt that you get a really big stick, like a cricket bat or something, who cares, then tape a badger or something to it and run around screaming, either chased by your weapon or not, screaming is a must as it gives you a good reason to follow the imbibing steps again.

    The Squirrel can be found at any good pet store or lost in the mists of time. But should you ever find the beer tomes, remember, the path of doing something stupid may involve: whooping, drowning, burning, tingling, hair were there was no hair, flying monkeys, unknown quantities of cash, saying Hey Check this out, or generally acting like a complete fool. Should any of this, including death happen to you, seek medical/mortician help straight away, should any of this happen to you whilst in the middle of a zombie uprising, then the Beer Tome Writers think that was a pretty stupid idea now wasn’t it and take no liability in your own actions. Remember to drink wisely, if you can’t feel your toes then you may have had too much to drink and are in the middle of a lake.

  • The fully-automatic-squashed-apricot-and-partially eaten-stick-of-chalk-gun.

    Rate of fire: 5 rounds per second.
    Primary ammunition: squashed apricots
    Secondary ammunition: partially eaten sticks of chalk
    Tactics: Best to organize ammunition in an apricot-chalk-apricot-chalk etc order. This way, your enemy gets an apricot in the eye, and before they can react they get biffed on the head with some chalk. After a while, they will get stunned, at which point you can stab them with the attached spatula-bayonet.

  • The Civiliser.

    A gun capable of reclaiming civilisation with every shot. Instead of killing your enemies, it instills them with a sense of peace, a thirst for knowledge and a desire to rebuild society. And once the post-apocolyptic wasteland has been restored to its former glory, it has a bayonet attached so you can slaughter those peace-loving suckers in their sleep and gain mad experience points.

  • The Un-Coattailer:

    Shoots a beam at players, it makes them realize that although this game is very similar in theme and gameplay to a certain other hugely popular post-apocalyptic RPG that rhymes with ‘ball snout’, it is still actually a pretty good game

  • A gun that’s shoots underwear at the victim the victim is now stripped of all weapons and is only wearing a briar and knickers but they now run a little faster until they pick up a weapon

  • The Soviet.

    A gun that can only do damage to your enemies by getting hit with it yourself. It’d be perfect, cause you’d just surrender when you come across an enemy, and they take your weapon, shoot you with it and then, bang! They’re dead.

    “In post apocalyptic Russia, GUN SHOOTS YOU!”

  • The ‘chk chk boom’ gun – Makes you an instant celebrity, gives you a contract with channel 9 and getaway, signs you a PR deal and gets you a record contract, even though it doesn’t really exist!

  • Higgs Boson Cannon.

    The HBC fires hypothesized particles that are so abhorrent to nature that they ripple back in time to annihilate their own existence.

    To the untrained observer it looks like the HBR fires nothing, but particle physicists will tell you that this doomsday device in fact heralds the end of the all existence as we know it.

    To your enemies, however, you just look stupid.

    • …Same again, minus the stupid spelling mistakes 🙁

      Higgs Boson Cannon.

      The HBC fires hypothesized particles that are so abhorrent to nature that they ripple back in time to annihilate their own existence.

      To the untrained observer it looks like the HBC fires nothing, but particle physicists will tell you that this doomsday device in fact heralds the end of all existence as we know it.

      To your enemies, however, you just look stupid.

  • I’d be happy with any sort of pistol that had some realism to its damage; that is, when I shoot something for the first time, it actually stops the feel the pain and/or dies.

  • Kurriezookaaa

    This will be a massive bazooka like weapon that shoots different types of curries depending upon the various ingredients that you collect throughout the game. I am right now looking at 1639 possible types of curries that could be made up.

  • HAM-BurgerP40. HAMP40 for short.

    An altered MP 40 that turns any enemy into a nutritious burger.
    Not in the mood for meat? Switch it over to the VEGANP40 to enjoy a delicious veggie burger.

    You’ll never run out of food!

  • The LoJ (Law of Jungle) Rifle.

    A double barrelled shoulder mounted weapon. One barrel fires a Cobra, the other a Mongoose, these two natural enemies play out their fated game of death, a brutal duel of venom, claws and teeth, on your enemies face.

    Laugh from the diaphragm as your target writhes on the floor, little more than a helpless battleground for the tenacious creatures.

  • The Communist Conspiracy

    Communist Conspiracy fires red hot burning bullets of molten hot magma, vaporising capitalist foes for glory of the motherland. Gun is equipped with scope, making it child’s play to pick off Capitalist Swine in desolate wasteland formerly known as the USA.

  • The Piper Corn

    Shoot a bullet and poof! The enemy turns into a rat. Shoot another one, it becomes a rat as well. And guess what? You control the rats! With your own legion of furry lice ridden rodents you get to attack and take down more badass enemies…or gnaw at their ankles…

    Whatever floats your boat, really.

  • The knife,

    As sharp edged piece of metal, that can only be used in close combat. Completely useless in any sort of ranged combat over 0.0 – 0.9m. Benefits being, that on finding a second knife in game, dual welding is usable. But does result in a reduction of accuracy, and an increased chance of cutting your players own flesh.

  • The “OMFGTH” (Oh My F***king God That Hurts)…

    A gun that hits so hard and hurts so bad, that it’s felt by the next 5 generations of the target’s family.

    A gun so feared on the battlefield that its name dare not be spoken(although this may have something to do with the unpronounceable acronym)

    NOTE: Currently field testing improvements to increase weapon effectiveness to an infinite number of generations; however results won’t be known for 1,000,000,000,000,000+ years.

  • The Catinator

    It fires out vicious cats that kill its victim then eats them, then the Dogs eat the cats just to make sure they won’t come back again as Evil Zombie Cats.

  • Wiimote Launcher.

    Wiimote’s the most dealy weapon to LCD’s and Plasma Screens in the present, in the post-apocalyptic environment, deadly to your enemies.

    The weapon launches a wiimote with a form of explosive instead of the battery. When it makes contact with someone, kaboom!


  • The Rocket Sniper

    It is essentially a cross between a sniper rifle and a rocket launcher, with some minor differences. It utilises small rockets that are streamlined for distance. They do not rely upon a targeting system, instead relying upon the users skill to aim. Upon impact, each rocket results in an small explosion capable of killing the target and those surrounding him or her. In addition, the rockets also discharge an Electro-Magnetic Pulse (EMP) to disable vechiles. I have these images that it will be creatively used by marksmen to shoot it down the pipe of a tank to disable it 🙂

  • The Prankster
    Launches cream pies at your enemy….no matter how bad your aim is it always hits them in the face

  • The No-dedicated-server-for-mw2-pc-version Gun:

    Upon firing this gun, thousands of crying, immature pc fan boys (myself included) will create petitions, flame on forums and spark multiple console vs. PC wars across the Internet.

  • Peacemaker

    This gun will show you that peace through power is not a true maxim as you will find the ensuing peace from its use boring, rather this gun is powered by the stimulants in the brain associated with the joy of killing as you notch up kill after kill with projections of your psychotic rage.


  • The Atkin Sun Blaster

    Its a large rifle type gun shaped like a middle-age opinionated jerk. When something that has blood, gore, sexual context, an inappriate manner or something equally unappraprate for an audiance member that the game wasn’t intended for, appraches the player the Atkin Sun blaster simple spouts lines like “Think of the Children” or “Vunruble adults need us” and then the offending material is simple ignored. Normally this doesn’t actually help in any way, with the offending matterial simple sneaking its way into the area illigally. However, what it does do is turn an appropriatly aged player into a slavering crazed lunitic hell bent on causing distruction.

    I guess its more like a buff.

  • Water Pistol.

    In the wasteland, water is the most precious commodity.

    Sun beating down hard upon your brow? Heat starting to get to you as you lay in wait, hoping to ambush your foe? Just shoot yourself in the face to feel refreshed, or suck on the end of the barrel to quench your thirst.

    If you’re concerned about using water as ammunition, thinking this may be a terrible waste of the life giving liquid, well you could always fill the pistol with acid and horribly disfigure your enemies.

    Just don’t come to me crying when you get confused and accidentally shoot yourself in the face with acid, on a hot summer day.

  • The Log&Run Gun
    Fires a fairly large log along the ground which can be controlled by the player into rolling through enemies. Smaller enemies are crushed instantly whilst large enemies are left with a big splinter in their face making them blind for 3 seconds.

    Seconday fire is the Maseedgun. Fires seeds at an alarming rate, has a 25% chance of implanting a seed inside your foe, causing a tree to rapidly grow from within them. Limbs and ‘red corn-syrup’ are expelled. The remaining tree can then be destroyed and turned into ammo for the Log&Run Gun.

  • Can-O-Worms –

    You pull the “Pin” like a Grenade, You throw it like a Grenade, but there the Similarities End, Uppon Impact, Thousands of waring worms break free from there container, declaring whatever body they land on as there terrotory, untill only one faction of worms Remaines.
    The Weapon is also recycleable, Becoming a Can-0-Worms, Causing minimal damage.

    and coming tomorrow, – The Mole-Launcher.

  • The Cat Scratcher,
    it is a gun which has a cat in the center and its paw out, it is then tormented when required to scratch, it is of course a close range weapon but highly effective

  • Time Displacement Equipment

    Use it to send a trusted comrade back in time to screw my mother and… I forgot where I was going with this…

    • Use it to send yourself back, I assume you would not only be your own father but i imagine it would give you some sort of super power as well as an extra toe.

  • Razor wire Chain gun

    It’s a chain gun that instead of firing bullets it fires lines of razor wire that will spin and wrap around the enemy. After they are tangled up you pull a second trigger that will spin the barrel in the opposite direction, trapping them in the razor wire and ripping and tearing their flesh as it drags them toward you so you can finish them off.

  • Shoop-da-whoop cannon.

    3 second charge time (after all, you have to be chargin your lazer). Causes both you and your enemy to go black face. Made in Malaysia

  • The Katamari Cannon.

    A shoulder mounted cannon that when fired launch’s a Katamari forward, picking up anything and anyone unfortunate enough to be in its path of destruction thus leaving you a clear road for you to walk ahead on.

  • The Camera
    Using patented super CCDFREEZEMOS technology, captures everything being viewed through the viewfinder in the camera and removes it completely from the world. But here’s the kicker; there’s no film or memory stick in the camera!

  • The decapitator ..

    the decapitator essentially fires a saw blade that homes in on the enemy’s neck and …. ohhh wait ….. sorry … its been refused classification in Australia ….

    UPDATE *Australian Edition decapitator, shoots the saw blade but ALWAYS misses in fear of destroying the minds of children*

  • The “Potential”

    The “Potential” is a very cost effective, yet needlessly basic (and often unwieldy) gun. It has a low retail price, but has only enough room for a single bullet at a time (which is strange for a fully automatic weapon), is also wired to the user for unknown reasons and is relatively useless on any level of lethality. But hey, who cares, it’s cheap!

    Plus it’s upgradable!

    For a MEASLY extra cost, the gun can be made into a machine of pure awesome!

    -Upgraded bullet storage (gun holds 40 bullets in a sleek chamber: $200
    -Wireless upgrade: $150 – no more getting tangled in your gun!
    -Tim Allen ™ ‘More Power’: $50 per upgrade – make your weapon far more killy!
    -Silence is death: $399 – replaces bullets with a strictly digital version of death that is uploaded to your weapon via the magic of post apocalyptic internets!
    -Shiny: $5 per ‘shiny’ item – impractical and useless for any real application other than changing your weapons appearance. Chances are most people will think it’s stupid looking and a waste of money, but you’ll think your “new york yankees” themed gun is super awesome and helps you express you! Chances are no one cares who you are either…
    -Functionality upgrade: Free initial setup and $1.50 per addition – Upgrades functionality of your gun. After initial setup, the user can now listen/watch/obtain all their favorite post apocalyptic music/movies, chat with far away friends or enemies via twitted or gesichtbook or order the hottest new equipment (additional fees apply) all at the press of just a few buttons!

    Outdated ‘Potential’ brand guns may also be traded back in at any leading gun retailer for 1/4 of their orignal price in cash or 1/2 their original price as a trade in towards a new gun.

  • The LHC.

    Looks big and scary, gets many into a terror, as they think the world is going to be swallowed up by a black hole. However, it stops halfway through the firing protocol, due to cooling errors, and leaves the user with an actual egg on their face.

    Could be working by next year, but don’t hold your breath.

  • Conceptartinator:

    Consisting of a hand in a brown semi-fingerless glove, shaped to provide the appearance of a pistol. This devastating imaginary weapon provides the ultimate tool in concept art generation.

    – Instakill – When aimed point blank at a gimp wearing a white mask
    – 50% chance of producing Mad Max scenes in resulting brown gore.

  • The Bold n’the Beautiful Blaster.

    When fired upon the enemy they instantly remove their mask to reveal they are your long lost son, daughter, father, sister, gynaecologist or the person you had a hot,torrid 1 night stand with in the aeroplane bathroom on a connecting flight between Sydney and Melbourne.

    Would then end the stand off with a cut to credits.


  • The Lollipop

    Offer a masked enemy a lollipop in freidnship.
    Causes them to become enraged over the inability to remove their mask and suckle on the lollypop.
    Causes them to attack unmasked allies out of jealousy.

  • The Pussy Launcher.

    This Badass mo’ fo’ fires electrified kittens at your opponent. The kittens having been detained and lightly tazed within the confines of the weapon have become agitated and delirious, so not only are they very pissed off and electrified, they also see anything they’re fired at as a particularly vicious ball of yarn.


  • The Singularity

    Aptly named, this large shoulder mounted Particle accelerator holds one and only one hyper-dense projectile held by a small stasis field, which when fired travels at hyper speed for about 1.75 meters, stops and falls, piercing all the way through to the planet’s core starting a chain reaction of infinite implosions….well let’s face it, if your going to die in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, you might as well take everyone and everything in the Galaxy with you. There’ll be no Post-Black Hole Wasteland for people to die in once The Singularity has had it’s way!

    What’s more, The Singularity need not be used offensively, it serves as a perfect deterrent! Even the most savage Skags, will recognize the destructive potential of a Low Gravity Field Particle Accelerator! Safety guaranteed!!

  • The Boner
    The Funny Bone
    (beacuse for this weapon, one bone is never enough)

    The weapon itself is made from the bones of the fallen and the strap that supports it is a completely intact spinal column. As long as you manage to hit something you shall never want for ammunition as this gun uses the bones of your kills as projectiles.

    Instanly sharpened to the deadliest of points as you pull the trigger this gun fires bones you have collected from your kills which imbed themselves with seapr-like finess to do massive damage to your targets. Bones collected from radioactive enemies will infect causing further damage over time or if you’re lucky, cause immenent genetic mutation which may result in an extra arm instantly sprouting from your prey which subsequently begins tearing it apart.

    Enemies fear this weapon and its weilder lest they become apart of it nefarious make-up…

  • The Video Game Fanboy:

    Enemies will want to end their own misery once this badboy talks trash about their favourite game/console.

  • I would call it the NAG gun, what does it do you ask…well it has two functions:

    Primary fire: It shoots out a sonic voice of your choice either your nagging wife or girlfriend, and intially it sends the enemy running (lines like “get off that xbox and spend some time with me…blah blah blah”). When its fully upgraded it it just explodes enemies heads.

    Secondary fire: This has an area effect which can also be upgraded. At first you can only target a small amount of people, this sends out a sonic boom voice/scream from your favoutrite wife/girlfriend…hey through your mum in there if shes the only ‘special’ lady in your life…(Screams of “SHUT UP!!” “SHOW ME ATTENTION”) And the enemy will actually turn whatever weapon they have on themselves and obviously blow their own head off. Of course this can be upgraded!

    A neat feature of this gun would be the fact that you can actually record your wife/gf/mum going off in reeal time and put it into the game.

    Eat that suckers, this is what i have to put up with!! Prize please 😛

  • Weapon Name: The I.Y.F.I.W.B (The In Yo Face I Win B****)

    Description: This is the gun you use on that boss who wiped the floor with your sorry ass for the hundredth time. It is also known as “Teh Hyoomiliatorz”. Perfect for getting revenge, then sitting back and revelling in said revenge.

    -Must have been owned minimum of 20 times whilst having tried multiple strategies each of which give the same effect – a loss.
    -Must have broken a controller and/or sibling at least twice during the 20 tries.
    -Must have ‘Eye-Twitch’ activated.

    Super effective against:
    Crazy hard bosses. Can also be used in any Contra level ever.

    Weak against:
    Bosses with no thought put into AI.

    This weapon comes in the form of a standard Pistol + 1. Its appearance disarms your chosen boss who laughs in your face for having tried again and this time using an even worse gun than before.

    Effect (the fun stuff):
    -Upon pulling the trigger this gun instantly changes shape into a hulking mass of barrels, ammo clips, triggers, pure pwnage and comical extending boxing gloves.
    -The next stage involves each of the barrels cocking, ammo being loaded, triggers readied, pwnage aimed and boxing gloves retracted.
    -Once the weapon is readied the firer yells “IN YO FACE I WIN B****”, this fires the gun.
    -Triggers released, barrels shoot out a flag with words “You just got paid back”.
    -Nothing else happens for 3 seconds.
    -Once boss inevitably starts laughing, this triggers a kitten to launch from the main cannon to the boss’ head. The damage caused is 99,999,999 hp and ignores any defensive capabilities.
    -If the boss has a higher hit point count for whatever reason, the kitten licks the boss to death, each lick causing infinite damage (imbued the debilitating shame-effect). Extra punishment for daring to survive.
    -At the climax, the kitten jumps off and in a deep voice says to the boss “Pay back’s a biznatch”.
    -Player gains “Cry-From-Melange-of-Joy/Thankfullness/Satisfaction” buff.


    P.S sorry…I got carried away.

  • Bee-terator: A totem pole shaped like Timbaland, covered in those little creatures that make hives and what not (note: not wasps). It would be like a gravity hammer from Halo, only it would cause victims to go into anaphylactic shock and honey would come out of them a bit as well.

    It would sound like this:



    The Dialling Wand
    A forehead mounted weapon for people with mobility problems. It would be fired by blowing into a straw held in place by a chin-strap. Different firing modes could be enabled by blinking. Two blinks for rapid fire and so on.

    This is a very politically correct weapon, as disabled people encounter combat scenarios from time to time and they are oft overlooked.

  • Rick Roll

    Set up a theatre in the badlands and invite everyone to come over and see the most amazing film they are ever likely to witness. Heavily promote the event until the theatre is packed with every one of your enemies from far and wide.

    Show the opening trailers and promos, then quickly cut to Rick Astelys’ “Never gonna to give you up”.

    Evacuate the area as they all commit suicide and/or murder each other over being Rick Rolled

  • My Borderlands weapon is the most decadent weapon ever conceived; the Gun-Gun.

    The Gun-Gun is a heavy rifle that uses high-caliber pistols as its ammunition. That’s right, it’s a gun that shoots guns at people.

    This beauty also has two fire modes;
    ‘Saftey Off’ Mode launches pistols that shoot the target upon impact, and ‘Saftey On’ mode fires pistols that will not fire on impact, perfect for long-range pistol-whipping fun.

    Why create a gun that shoots guns, you ask? Well the world of Borderlands contains ‘Over a Bajillion’ guns, you can’t let them all go to waste now, can you?

  • Beans shooting Shotgun

    Because really, there are only 2 things you need to survive the apocalypse – A shotgun and cans of beans.

    Thus by combining the two, you only need one thing.

  • Crowbar

    Not only can it crack skulls, it can be used to pry open any post-apocalyptic loot you find. No door or lock can stand in your way!

  • A potato cannon minigun. Fires a rapid stream of potatoes at your enemies. Can be loaded with either Sweet potatoes, Yams or the old regular kind.

    Using the Yam Cannon with grappling hook attachment can be hours of fun with ragdoll enemies.

  • The Ban Hammer

    Weapon used solely to eradicate loud and obnoxious players.
    Causes the targeted players mic to be muted for 48hrs and boots them from the current game.

  • The Claw. The claw is a gun that locks onto any human or monsters limb and rips it off. You may ask how is that possible? The Claw is quicker then the speed of light which means it could rip every limb off your body in a micro second.

  • The Dick Stick.

    Not much is known about this legendary double-handled melee weapon. It is epic purple in colour, however.

  • introducing the Filter 9000
    its an epic microwave with the door torn off combined with a spear gun and motorised truck winch.

    Spear a target, winch them into the microwave, set on high for 10 seconds.

    Comes with a complimentary glass for collecting water vapor as it boils from their brains. Good for those long trips through the borderlands where resources can run scant.

  • The Klondike bar,

    A revolutionary snack that consists of ice cream in the center of a delicious chocolate shell. Since it will probably be the best, no , only ice cream in the borderlands we could use this as the holy grail of bribing, trade the Klondike for massive amounts of money and weapons. It also has a 7% chance of omitting heartburn and or indigestion. there for having a slow down or even retreating outcome on any foe who eats it. well sock it to the wasteland eh boys.

  • Matter Collapser or Miniature Black Hole Maker

    A very long sniper rifle capable of accelerating bullets to the near speed of light. When the bullet hits it’s target or anything near the target it will create a miniature black hole for a split second sucking up any enemies within 10ft. Since the bullet is traveling at such speed when it hits any matter the matter will collapse causing a miniture black hole to form for a fraction of a second. Since there wouldn’t be enough matter obtained in the black hole to sustain it, the miniature black hole would then explode expelling any matter that was in it. Body parts and any items that were on the enemies that was killed by the black hole.

    Of course this gun wouldn’t work on bosses, badasses, or very large creatures but it would still do high amounts of damage to them. Basically this gun is almost a 1 shot 1 kill for any regular/common enemy type.

    • I would also like to add this gun would have high damage and perhaps ignores sheilds since it creates a black hole but since it’s so powerful probably make it a lvl requirement of 50 and a clip size of 1 or maybe 2 and that’s it with a slow reload speed. Just to balance things out. (This is just some extra things I thought would be cool to have on this gun)

    • I apologize for adding another comment to this but I read the terms and conditions for this competition and it says you need to add your email address to your comment. I was wondering if I should do that or will you be contacting the winners through Facebook/Twitter as well? I use facebook myself and I also see that no one else has posted their email addresses along with their comments. Clarification would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

  • The Chuck Norris-Mr T gun…

    It would be a double barrel gun with the faces of Chuck Norris and Mr T molded onto one barrel each. One barrel(the Chuck Norris barrel) will dispense immense levels of pain that comes in the form of disembodied flaming fists and legs while the other barrel (Mr T) will dispense hurt, the projectile is represented by Mr T’s gold flaming foot. However when both barrels have reached a level of awesomeness through the killing of thousands…a button below the barrel will pop out. Press this button and Chuck Norris and Mr T will fly from the heavens, pound their fists therefore setting a shockwave of pure AWESOME killing everything in a 1000 mile radius but the player wielding the gun will remain unharmed.

  • Marshmallow Napalm Launcher

    A flamethrower that launches flaming marshmallows which stick to their targets like napalm. Because we all know that marshmallows and twinkies are the only food that can survive the apocalypse.

  • Cactus Cruncher:

    Perfect for those heavily armored enemies. Powered by negative radioactive energy, the C.C. fires a concentrated blast of radiation at your enemy.
    As the radiation shot passes into the enemies body, the energy becomes unstable as it tries to merge with the cell structures of the enemy’s internals, causing radiation to pulse outward in violent, erratic spikes that quickly protrude from the enemy in a random, violent fashion.
    To the attacker, it looks as if they’re being stabbed from the inside out multiple times at once, or more simply, the enemy is Cactus-ized.

  • The Penetrado

    An odd steampowered gun that uses pressure to fire poisoned railroad spikes at high speeds. Although scientists are unable to explain the phenomenon, the gun is guaranteed to cause critical damage if the target is shot from behind. The engravings of Tom Cruise and John Travolta on the barrel of the gun only add to the mystery…

  • The Reefer Rifle

    Primary fire: Fires a sweet joint.
    Secondary fire: Showers the area with Snack Cakes.

    First get them high. Then, while they are distracted by the snack cakes, you stab them.

  • The “De-bit-erator 3000”

    Enemies are instantly zapped with a transforming ray (complete with PC Speaker sound effects!) into 8-bit two-dimensional horrors, whereupon they can be hilariously dispatched by the player jumping on their heads..

  • Bubble blower? I don’t know, it worked on Ralph Wiggum didn’t it?

    Extend-o-Glove bayonetta? Krusty the Clown cried when he had to part with it, maybe he found it good to pound Sideshow Mel in the face every other day…

    Not original…but o well…I gave it a shot!

  • The Kraken

    Modelled around an 18th century muzzle loader (one of the ones with the wide funnel shaped muzzle), this gun fires a tangled mess of a projectile, somewhat resembling his holiness the FSM (flying spaghetti monster).
    Upon impact, the mess swiftly grabs hold of anything in, on and around the target before 4 boring tentacles shoot into the earth, tying the target in place.
    The shooter then has the option of dispatching the trapped target with a melee or projectile attack from another weapon or to leave the seething mass of tentacles as a defence post. This sentient mass of tentacled death will serve the player until it runs out of nourishment. The guardian can be fed with corpses, although live food will prolong the lifespan.

  • The Brutifier (Brute-e-fire)

    Shoot an enemy with this gun, wait a few seconds, suddenly they will mutate into a giant, crazy monster, turning on his friends and wiping out your enemies for you.

    After they’ve wiped out everything, they’ll suddenly have a chest pain, with their heart exploding out of their chest, resulting in instant death.

    So the gun isn’t perfect, but it has its uses.

  • “The Chk Chk Boomstick”.

    A digital suppressor integrated into the sawn-off barrel of this high-caliber shotgun replaces the resounding thunder of each discharge with a cultured, feminine cry of “Chk, chk, boom!”. Useful for putting down Fat Skags and Skinny Skags alike… hell, they don’t speak English, so how will they even know that you have opened fire?

    For some inexplicable reason, its previous owner – an individual of apparent poor taste – has replaced its original metallic sheen with an unearthly, glowing orange tan. This often causes it to be mistaken with the Oompa Loompa Cannon (a misnomer, said cannon is really too small to be classified as such).

  • Steve’s Whistle:
    A device which summons Steve, who will aid you in combat by shooting (with deadly efficiency) any people who may be annoying you, such as an incompetent sound technician or pre-pubescent suicide bomber.
    Steve can also be used as a makeshift stool for the vertically challenged, or for moral support as he shouts inspiring salutations.

  • The RROD

    A Red Ring that puts your enemies out of commission for a week or so while they are sent to the hospital/repair centre. Works better on older units.

  • The regurgitator.
    It’s a cannon mounted on the back of a jeep that has a claw like attachment which is big enough to hold a human.Inside the metallic canon you have 1000 blades that constantly move up and down in a chopping motion.And at the left and right sides of the canon are open shutes.What you do with it is you shoot the claw out to capture your opponent.Then draw them into the canon’s opening.Thereby mincing your opponent into 1000’s of tiny pieces.Which are then shot out as blood,bone and guts through the side shutes of the canon.Turning your minced up opponent into a projectile which can be used to coat your enemies.Making them throw up in the process.Rendering them useless.Letting you grab them with your claw and repeating your technique over and over again.
    In the day of economic crisis and hardship.Ammo can be expensive.So improvise with the regurgitator and use your opponents as ammo.

  • The Borderlands Taser
    Brick only
    Ammo: Mutant midgets, wires

    Fires/throws a mutant midget attached to a thin wire at your enemy. On contact, an electric charge is emitted, draining your shields and inflicting massive damage. The current will cause the mutant’s muscles to contract, with the end result looking like an electrified care-bear hug.

    The Borderlands Taser has an 8 second cooldown, as the midget is too hot for Brick to throw again.

  • The Hambomb

    It shoots a hamburger that has a sticky grenade in it that detonates in 1 minute after being shot out or it can act as a claymore type thing.

    (i came up with this while eating a hamburger lol)

  • I think we’re long overdue for a proper microwave gun. I mean they talk about miltary testing on its applications and stuff but I’d like to see one in digital gory action. I’m thinking something the boils the bad guys blood making it steam red out of their body orriffices, eyes pop out blackens their skin (albeit very unevenly)and then beeps when they’re done. Am I wrong people?

  • what about a spear gun. where if you shoot them in any body part you can reel them in and rip that body part off. if you get all 4 players to have the gun and shoot an enemy at different parts and reel him in at the same time, you would be able to dismember him completely!!!

    also the gun could be used to shoot another gun from a safe distance and it would be brought to you or shoot the enemy’s gun to take there gun

    Magazine size 8
    100% chance of dismemberment
    80% accuracy
    30% chance of penetration to another enemy
    with a scope
    range 250 ft

    possible elemental abilities
    electric shock to make the enemy drop additional loot
    electric shock damage 160
    with each spear that connects it increases electric shock by 70 plus damage
    since ripping bad asses apart would be difficult (because there bad asses), you can use the electric shock attack to shock them while you run and dodge the bad asses attack

  • The Quaker.

    An oversized, rocket-launcher style, weapon that creates and temporarily opens fault-lines in the ground, exposing pits of radioactive doom to all who fall in.

    Can be used to kill enemies on its own or act as a barrier while you kill them from afar.

  • The Facebooker

    A weapon which fires a book of plasma, then attaches itself to your face and makes you ask quizzes to your team mates which will cause them to die and your face to be crushed.

  • T-25 Sunshine (Surprise B*tch):
    A rifle that utilizes a giant Hi-tech magnifying glass to gather rays and direct them into a beam of blazing destruction. Only effective during daylight. In cases of brighter than normal star/moonlight, it can blind enemies.

  • The gun i think of is called:

    Infant-ry gun!

    It shoots rabid flaming babies that crawl around biting peoples ankles off, then explode.

  • The Meatspin

    In essence it is a pound of sausage meat stuffed into a verucca sock to create a makeshift flail.

    The Collector’s Edition ships with a pretty wig and a bodice.

  • mr metal exploder-A gun that plays sound waves into the targets head playing metal so loud that eddie riggs wouldn’t be able to stand it until your enimies head explodes and instead of a grenade launcher the attachment is a bomb that plays noises high pitch, high pitch enough to make the person spew out there insides but still be alive so they die a horrible death.

      • ok, so the reply made my weapon idea dissappear so ill write it again.

        The metal exploder- a gun that plays metal sound waves so loud that eddie riggs couldn’t stand it. It gets so loud that your enimies head explodes and dies.The attachment is a bomb that emits ultra high pitch sound waves so that your enimies spew out their brains and also prolapse and will die eventually but not straight away.

  • the gun that the fat wog used to shoot the skinny wog. ofcourse the sound the gun would make when fired would be chk, chk, BOOM!

  • Hand Held Mini-Manufactorium.

    Primary fire: Randomly creates and shoots a single shot loaded gun that goes off upon impacting with something. Chance to fire a Hand Held Mini-Manufactorium.

    Secondary fire: Sucks in all non-held weapons within a certain distance, converting it to raw materials to produce more primary fire guns.

  • The “silence of the lambs”

    A gun similar that shoots big sheets of human skin that wrap around your enemy and seals itself (it’s hot out of the gun) giving them another layer of skin. Of course there are no holes in this new layer of skin so they end up as some freakish ghoul-like thing and suffocate to death. For added fun you can apply multiple times and end up with a weird skin cacoon.

    Also if you lower the skin size setting (also it has a skin size setting) you can shoot little bits of skin at yourself to heal wounds or even to get rid of those unsightly blemishes.

    Lastly you can load it with the skins of anything (that you have skinned) and make weird abominations by covering quails in fish-scales or turning pandas into pachyderms.

    (can also be used to actually silence lambs)

  • Dr. Drew’s Sub-atomic Immediate Distress Cannon.

    r give it the ability to turn the weapons you dont want into ammunition of this gun, therefore changing the effects of damage on targets and letting you dynamically change damage type for maximum damage. Other uses: Getting rid of junk weapons.


  • Soylent Production Gun:

    Sucks all of the blood and nutrients out of a living thing, leaving mostly a skeleton, and blends it into a drinkable version of Soylent Green. Kill your enemies and stay refreshed at the same time.

  • The Balloon Boy gun.

    Encases the enemy in a large inflatable balloon causing them to float away into the stratosphere.
    Where upon on realizing the whole thing is a hoax the balloon disappears and they plummet to earth.

  • The Console Cannon

    Fires Wii’s, Xbox’s, Playstation’s and PSP at the enemy, causing them to take on characteristics of the console:

    Wii – flailing wildly before dropping dead
    Xbox – enemy’s head explodes due to excessive amounts of eliteist asshattery.
    Playstation – enemy dies of bordom.
    PSP – enemys thumbs explode, causing them to flee.

  • The Pony Pistol
    a pistol that fires Shetland ponies. expensive ammunition cost, but the immediate OMG! PONIIES! reaction is worth it.

    Can be upgraded to the Clydesdale Cannon.

  • The fridge. Ok, so it’s technically not a weapon, but ever since Indy 4 I have been itching to put it to the test in an apocalyptic environment. If that failed I’d whip out the hairdryer-in-a-bowl-of-water gun. Kinda self explanatory.

  • The Surgical Laser Gun

    Fires pinpoint accurate surgical-use lasers at the enemy, curing him of previously thought inoperable conditions. Naturally the gratitude he feels toward you for this act will cause such conflict against his aggression that he will fall on his sword/eat his gun rather than cause you harm.

  • N.e.r.f. Gun.

    This gun looks remarkably similar your average Nerf gun purchased from a toys and hobby store. IT serves a dual purpose, not only is it amusing to watch foam pellets be thrown ad obnoxiously annoying speeds at your enemy but it forces your enemies own weapons and Armour into a state of perpetual functionality reduction.

  • The Lasso!

    Mordecai gets bonuses for this:

    Aim it at any non-humanoid (even Clap-Trap!) and throw your lasso. Pull them in to ride them around until they die. creatures of the same type get pack bonuses when more party members are riding them. Customizable with all new parts and weapons! (to be detailed give me a copy of borderlands!)

    A sneak preview of the animal/clap-trap customization options!
    -Saddle (prevents ball breaking and chaffing, Not usable by Lilith)
    -Big gun!
    -Bigger gun! (brick can’t fit on animals with a Bigger Gun)
    -Red paint (makes them go faster)
    -bandit head on a stick (use for turbo boost!)

  • the hand gun- literally, a last ditch weapon in which you make you hand into a gun and shout bang! to frighten your enemies…..
    or it could fire hands 😛

  • The Meat Cutter.

    It’s a giant pizza cutter with a 5 meter diameter blade. If the going gets tough, you can always hit the boost switch to engage the rocket propelled engine to give you the extra “oomph” to cut through the hardest cuts of meats, or hard as nails mercenaries.

  • The K-Western

    A pistol ingeniously shaped like a microphone. When used against an enemy, it renders them shocked, passive and immobile by stripping their weapons away. I then wears them down with a massive barrage self-important sonic babble. This serves two purposes: it helps hold aggro by feigning respect; and it simultaneously shifts the focus of the battle onto another enemy that has already been defeated.

    A bonus is granted if the player is wearing over-sized sunglasses at the time.

  • Not in the face!gun

    A gun that is shaped like a shotgun but has a mechanism at the end with a big steel caped boot attached to it. Enemies will scream “Not in the face!”, when you get up close and personal with them.

  • The Bullshot Launcher:

    Loaded with screenshots of massively hyped weapons, it shoots out with the promise of mass destruction, only to result in piddling puffs of nothing.

  • The funawaynator
    A gun that shoots miniature Michael Atkinsons to ruin all the fun of all the guys trying to shoot me, taking away their source of happiness, leaving them brutally pissed, so when their shift of being evil is over they will all go home and complain on the internet (doing the standard start internet petitions, start facebook hate groups hack his website ect) , therefore distracting them long enough for me to sneak off and hide under the carpet 😛

  • The HC (Hand Cannon)

    A weapon designed to be fired with one hand, it has two barrels, and the handle contains thick but small shock absorbers. The only disadvantage to this is that it cannot hold very big clips. Each barrel is a different size, the lower barrel is 6 gauge semi-automatic shotgun barrel. The upper barrel is .50 cal barrel, the approximate length of 2 desert eagles, the barrel is designed specially so that its lighter towards the end so it does not unbalance the gun. The gun is made of a very strong and light material. The gun is light enough to be dual wielded however because of the material it uses it is so expense and rare that it is very unlikely that you will be able to come across or afford two. Small dot sights and scopes can be clipped onto the top of the .50 cal barrel.

  • A simple PPK with custom rounds that cause enough damage per shot to finish a Zombie Apocalypse in 5 bullets. Through defiance of structure the PPK will also feature a Bayonet as you’ll be wanting to save the bullets for when the zombies eventually arrive.

    (It also features the voice of the late Barry White to keep you calm and give you company on your travels)

  • The Audie-Murphy. (

    A small cap-gun sized pistol, that when fired, expands rapidly into the size of a small cannon, and fires pure unstopable death, or bullets when that’s unavailable. A secondary button on the side is present that allows the user to become a badass when held.

  • Water gun with a built in soap, shampoo and conditioner dispenser.

    Simple really, it shoots water and dispenses soap, shampoo and conditioner. Because let’s face it, if you’re stuck living in a dirty post-apocalyptic wasteland what more would you want other than a nice clean and refreshing wash up. While it sounds useless, by using this weapon effectively you can essentially turn any foe into a friend by an act of kindness and cleanliness. Any enemy whether it be human, robot or beast will certainly be thankful and grateful towards you for their elegantly fresh sanitary and clean new selves.

  • The Troller


    30% chance to induce RAGE
    100% chance to make enemies, even non-humans argue about every choice you make, reverting to swearing and insults when faced with logical opposition
    85% chance to stun enemies with “Facepalm” effect.

    Also, the bullets are flame.

    I’d love this gun.

  • The Falcon Heene

    You shoot them with it and they run away and hide in the hope of one day having there very own reality show…?

  • The MultiVerse Gun

    Can be used two ways:
    1. Can be used in a field effect to create a reality changing pulse around the player which changes enemies/items/landscape into alternate universe versions.
    2. Traditional style shooting which would affect the body part(s) of the enemy hit, forcing a change of that arm/leg/head to an alternate version.

    Sometimes the results of this gun would be great (enemies changing to weaker version or becoming poorly equipped or just not having been born in that reality. )
    Sometimes the results would be bad ( bigger, meaner enemies. Items disappearing, etc)

    Crazy fun 🙂

  • The “Gaetano” Device. It’s a non-lethal gun, when you aim it at a victim’s face it duct tapes their mouths indefinitely shut… that’s not its main feature though, it also doubles as a speaker jack, as well as a wi-fi device… so firstly if you plug it into, say, a PA system or loudspeaker, it will continuously spout untrue and embarrassing statements about the victim that everyone can hear. And of course, he can’t prove them wrong… hence the tape. Secondly, it will wirelessly log on to any nearby computer, automatically track down the email, blog, Facebook, etc… of the victim, and do ultimately the same but with text, as well as unfairly Photoshopped pictures, and then proceed to change all his passwords so he can’t get back in.

    The Gaetano Device is essentially a defamation gun, which can’t really be used on a day to day basis, but is designed to unfairly bring down your *worst* enemy in all social aspects without hurting them physically… and because you’re not technically the one defaming him, you’re not legally liable for any losses he might sustain because of it.

  • The Demoralizer.

    A gun that fires bullets which, when they hit their target, fire off insults and jabs at the victim.

    First you get shot then you hear “wow! you suck at this”, “Are you sure you’re in the right line of work?”, “bleed much?” etc.

  • The gone-gone-gonorrhea: A Large sniper rifle-ish gun that fires a bowl-liquifying plasma charge inducing bowl movements so violent the victim often expels their innards.

    also, the scope is shaped like Richard Dawkins

  • The Scum Cannon. It fires out an Imperial Watchmen from Oblivion, where upon contact with an enemy shouts “Stop right there criminal scum!”, waylaying the enemy until they either resist arrest and do battle with the guard, they pay the fine, which is well and good, or they get arrested.
    The only downside is reloading the guards can be a slow and painful task in the middle of battle.

  • The Sodahead13

    The Sodahead13 is a weapon which didnt even leave the experimental process.

    When fired, a deafening sound of ‘YEAYUH’ is followed by Coke, beer, Snapple and Mountain dew. A minor bug sometimes occurs in the effect of an ‘epic spider leg’, which occurs after the weapon is being used for about 1 minute and 27 seconds. This can be fixed by wiping it away, flexing your muscles, showing off your superman tattoo and shouting ‘YEAYUH!’.

    There is a catch though. The Sodahead13 can only be used by people without a chin. This is because of its awkward shape and size. This may become hard for users of this weapon, because most people do have a chin. A chin-version was in the works, but it was destroyed in a factory fire.

    The after effects of the Sodahead13 is disastrous. Not only does the target get saturated by whatever was fired, but they will get the urge to chug different liquids and post them onto youtube.

    The Sodahead13 is a weapon nobody wants to come up against.

  • The Meme Cannon:
    A Weapon that fire’s all the memes ever created at the enemies. Terrifying them with such wicked things as Rick Astley or Dramatic Chipmunk. These spawns of 4chan will scaring the living daylights out of your enemies.


    The Headacher:
    This little thing can be set up on a tripod and has a red headpiece. It’s supposed to be portable 3d. Aim it at your enemies and press A. Prone to backfires.

    I think other people’s are better. I’m not very original.

  • The Pea-shooter.

    It shoots peas at the enemy leaving them perplexed just long enough to hit in the back of the head with butt of the gun.

    Standard ammo is, but is not limited to, peas. Also available are minted peas, for fresh breath. Split peas, to perplex multiple enemies. Snow peas, with additional cold damage. Chick peas, more effective against females. And Sweet Peas, which are just adorable.

  • The Doucher.

    Kayne West appears out of nowhere, and proceeds to persuade your enemies that that rock over there is the best target of all time.

    The best target.

    Of all time.

  • Skag hot dog launcher

    Don’t like Skags? Don’t like Mad Max wannabes?

    Take advantage of the ultimate post-apoc bio-weapons tech. Now with double the entrails and triple the fecal-coli count, conforming to Pandora safety regulations.

    Poison your neighbours today!

  • The Pun Gun:

    This gun is unlike anything seen before. Not only does it shoot completely random items, but it also has a computerised voice which says a pun in response to whatever it is being shot.

    In testing, it has shot bee’s at the enemy, with the voice telling the enemy to “Buzz off.” After the enemy was swarmed by the bee’s, the voice then had to rub it in by stating “Oh, I think he’s a bit stung after that”

  • The Art-Director

    Forces any enemies hit by its fire to completely reimagine the visual style of the gameworld, extending development time and leaving a world of stat-crunching loot-jockeys to cry in the shower and keep playing Too Human trying vainly to complete armour sets that they don’t really care about. Not really.

    And secondary fire does something clever and topical, like a quicktime event or a spirited debate on the lack of aprropriate classifications in the Australian video game market or something, I don’t know, leave me alone.

  • The Rudd Revolver. Fires explosive expletives with unrelenting mercy (that really hurt the enemy on the inside) and can only be countered by someone holding a hairdryer.

  • A sniper rifle with a revolving 6 shot barrel. Fires in rapid succession. Secondary fire is all 6 shots fired at once. All bullets are hollow point rounds withy miniature explosives inside. When a round enters an enemy, it explodes in precise cloud of flesh and blood, taking chunks off an enemy. If placed right, this can dismember arms, legs and the enemy’s head. The 6 round clip is located on the user’s back, so in one swift movement, the rifle is thrown over his shoulder, guided by the support strap, and the clip slides into place as it passes over his back – creating a super quick and stylish way to reload.

  • The Backflipper…

    A weapon that is designed to be a gift for your opponents!
    With your opponents fooled to think that you have mistakenly given them a weapon of great power, upon use, politicians will fire from the chamber and attack you, going against what the gun had originally intended.

  • The “Hummingbird”
    A handcannon with a gratifying shot and a massive magazine. This noob gun is for everyone! because each shot fired will post updates on your twitter account like..

    “Shot wizzed past enemies left ear LOL! He would have heard that XD”

    “Ricocheted off the barrel again, X{ STOP HIDING BEHIND HTE BARRELZ! N00b!!!!”

    “Just shot near a dog!”

    One of the more intriguing aspects of the gun is its procedurally generated tweets, offering over a bajillion unique phrases!

  • “The Wind Waker”

    Directionally convected microwaves instantly vaporise the contents of the targets stomach and bowel.

    Depending on when (and what) they last ate, the effect may range. At it’s lowest effect, your victim will experience embarrassingly unexpected top-and-bottom flatulence, throwing the enemy (and likely his companions) off guard during vital moments of combat.

    If you’ve managed to catch them right after a hearty meal of fried garlic chicken, eggs and cucumbers, the reaction will be fatal to the target and area-of-affect can cause blindness, acid damage, poison damage and a temporary debuff to intelligence, perception and endurance to nearby targets.

    Owners of “The Wind Waker” are warned to operate at a safe distance of 5-10 metres and are recommended to wear protective face gear (eg arc welding mask) at all times.

  • The Redback
    A cannon that fires a web-like projectile with high tensile strength. The web wraps around the target and immobilises them. The catch, however, is when they struggle and create friction, the web ignites and explodes. The only way to survive is not to struggle at all.

  • The Go

    a relatively powerful sub machine gun, smaller and prettier than most in its class, however you have to download its ammo from the PSN

  • The Patcherator

    When sighting the enemy this weapon proceeds to analyze its intended victim, comparing it to previously generated enemies and those currently in its vicinity. It will then proceed to lob volleys of results at the enemy causing open wounds with severe paper cuts doing damage over time.

  • The Dad from Everybody Hates Chris Gun

    You shoot this guy out and he rattles up the zombies/nazis/nazi zombies, whatever you fight in this game, and you have basically unlimited ammo because he’s in like every movie you watch, so theres like a zillion of him. I’d say that there are as many of him as there are weapons in this game. But i still don’t excatly know why this guy is in a gun. oh well, works for me.

  • The Electric Noodle Gun.
    A high voltage Pasta Making Machine that shoots out noodles that wrap around the enemy and electrocute them. There are three firing modes, one where you shoot the noodles like a projectile and it uses the charge already in the noodles, two where it fires noodles but still attaches too the gun electrocuting until they die and three where it will fire meatballs which explode on contact. As you may work out the first one is longer range but weaker, second short range but much stronger and the grenade is best used fired over long distances. Oh yes and the pasta sauce is poisonous in all firing modes.
    You need to charge up each attack. If you don’t charge enough the projectile speed will drop but if you charge it up too much the sauce will dry jam the barrel.
    Oh Dear I’ve been thinking about this too much haven’t I…

  • The RROD Gun

    Unbeknownst to the vast majority of the Pandoran population, the Planet Pandora was once the dumping ground for the huge piles of white indented boxes, all that present a Red Ring when powered, that once treatened to swamp planet Earth.
    The practically unlimited quantities present on the planet allow for a plentiful supply of ammunition, and the significant weight and shattering qualities ensure that objects that are hit by these projectiles suffer significant damage. A interesting sidenote to this is the seemingly random firing of small plastic disks, further increasing the damage potential as the disks scythe through all material in its way.


  • The Petitioner:

    A single use weapon that when fired within a split second removes 10% of your money as well as the most expensive weapon from your inventory, the Petitioner then fires thousands of signatures at your target before turning into a slightly improved version of the weapon that was removed.

  • The Habanero

    In the wasteland, food is scarce and enemies are plenty, so one day a lone and very hungry wanderer decided to kill two birds with one stone (and then probably ate them). A few quick pumps on your super-soa.. err Habanero is all you need before letting streams of the super-hot chilli sauce ammunition fly. Mere splash damage potentially blinds victims, direct damage instantly cooks them from their nostrils outwards, dealing heavy damage with awesome chilli flavour.

  • It would definitly be a gun that shoots kittens. The kittens scream out those damn lolcat sayings basically baddies get the crappers scratched out of them, but doesn’t kill them they actually take there own lives cause the can’t stand those mew mew pew cansihave dis shite

  • The Gluttony Gun

    Extremely heavy weapon which lobs morbidly obese pigs. Direct hits will daze the enemy and coat them in fatty entrails.

    If District 9 taught us anything, it is that pigs are deadly projectiles.

  • Angst Blaster

    Shoots all the crap CD’s you listened to while you were an angsty teen at your target, then your target is full of such angst and self loathing that they off themselves.

  • A Sniper-Sniper Rifle

    A double barreled, double scoped sniper rifle.
    Effectively a double barreled shotgun with binoculars duct taped to the top.

  • The Fist-thrower

    Primary fire: Fists that punch.
    Secondary fire: Hands that grab.

    Description: There is nothing like walking up to an enemy and beating him down with your very own fists. Well now you can get that personal touch from a distance! With the Fist-Thrower you have to option to shoot either hands to stangle or impede movement or fists to beat your target into an unidentifiable smear on the ground.

  • The Wife (or Girlfried) Gun.

    This weapon when fired leaches money, will, strength and most other stats off of the player.

    *sigh* Unfortunately it isn’t elligible for the competition. The cover art clearly shows that a fast acting version of the gun has been included in the game.

  • Name:Solar Nerf Gun

    Desciption: Passed down from generation to generation of shamanic priests, who were rumored to be able to control the power of the sun itself.

    This harmless looking nerf gun was originally a high profile assassination weapon which fired a needle tipped nerf which had a nano radio transmitter. The radio transmitter would triangulate the whereabouts of the carrier to a passing orbital ion cannon which once overhead would rain laser death in the general vicinity of the carrier.

    The gun was completed and its target innoculously shot with the transmitter; unfortunately, the target had been taken into custody at a nearby police station for disorderly behaviour adjacent to the institute which made the weapon and … laser death happened.

    The nerf gun was discovered in a metal briefcase in a suspiciously large perfect circle pit by scavengers and became an object of power and mystical significance for them. Since then, it has been passed down from shaman to shaman in the tribe to be used in times of great need.

  • The Gunfinity:

    A gun which fires a barrage of procedurally generated guns which in turn fire a barrage of procedurally generated guns overwhelming and bewildering your enemies before they are crushed under a mountain of guns.

  • Name: The Mancannon
    A giant Smith & Wesson six-shooter loaded with silver bullets that requires you to have two guns of your own and balls of steel. Simply holding it will make enemies nearby cower in fear. Pointing it in their general direction and cocking the hammer will instantly cause them to soil themselves, filled with fright. Shooting them will immediately result in a giant shower of blood and guts, spurting from whichever limb you dismembered. Remember kids, real men reload bullets one at a time.

  • I would have a really big, shiny mirror. If anyone attacked me, I would hold it up and they would see for the first time their true nature and the depths to which humanity had sunk, and they would be paralysed with shame.

    Then while they were staring, I would hit them on the head with a rock. So really, two weapons. Because i’d have no sense of shame. Or despair.

  • A cannon that fires “we will have dedicated servers” at the enemy before decapitating them because the projectiles used to write this faithful message were exploding bees.

    That’s right. Exploding mother-fucking bees.

  • The Scorch Stapler

    Primary fire: fires incinerary staples
    Secondary: staples sheets of paper together

    When people see the Scorch Stapler they tell me “that’s just an ordinary stapler.” After giving them a demonstration, those people have since lost their ability to see.

    This stapler is loaded with staples made out of flammable magnesium. When these babies ignite, they go from 0 to 1000°C in under 2 seconds. Every time the Scorch Stapler is fired, a concealed pilot light will discharge a burst of flame, setting fire to the projectile. The compressed air firing mechanism sends these staples flying over incredible distances, giving this weapon an effective kill range of 500 meters.

    When you’re retired from scavenging the wastelands and decide to settle for a nice office job, the Scorch Stapler can be utilised as a normal stapler*. The magnesium staples hold paper together with the same strength as Chuck Norris’ chest hair, and the compressed air firing mechanism is guaranteed to never jam.

    *using the Scorch Stapler as a normal stapler may cause serious injuries

  • In a post-apocalyptic world, I imagine a joint need for both sustenance and survival means one that does more than fire fanboys or buckets of KFC chicken.

    Perfect weapon with lol-factor for those entertainment blood-crazed moments? A powerful tranquilizer type gun with a hollow bayonet-type attachment, both which deliver a powerful shot of… caffeine (ie. liquid no-doz, not a Starbucks espresso). Its the perfect poison, and a win-win for both allies and enemies.

    Accidentally shoot one of your own guys? No worries – he’ll be hyperactive like a kid with ADD who forgot to take his Ritalin. Getting attacked by a Kevin-Costner-in-Waterworld-wannabe-cos-Kevin-Costner-was-so-not-gay-in-that-movie type a guy (who so totally deserves to be fragged if you could spare the grenades)? Just shoot enough caffeine rounds into his vitals, and watch as the guy suffers anything from headaches and irritability, to heart palpitations, disorientation, hallucinations, to destruction of muscle tissue and death – maybe if you’re lucky, the explosion of those vital organs.

    Restock by pillaging abandoned service stations, supermarkets, and university computer labs (always remember to stay away from major cities in case of post-apocalyptic zombie attacks).

    I dub thee, caffeine weapon of death, the “LANnon”

  • The Sky Die

    The gun launches players directly into the air vertically with a randomn range of 10-500 ft. Watch as your enemies flail helplessly to their doom or suffer a nasty sprained ankle. Secondary fire would be firing them horizontally.

    You could knock over other enemies like bowling or fling someone so high into the air they leave a cartoon like body shape in the floor! That or a gutsy red patch… 😀

  • Dead Lettuce

    Two high-speed projectile thumbs are jettisoned toward the enemy, digging into their head. Once attached, a sharp pull “cores” the enemy by gracefully removing their spinal cord.
    To keep your new trophy at its freshest, we recommend lining your crisper with paper towel and avoiding contact with other perishable goods.
    This product brought to you by Romaine industries. “Cos we care”.

  • “Adenoide Magnet”

    This area-o-affect weapon is very dangerous to use: purchasers are strongly advised to have their adenoides surgically removed from themselves and their allies.

    The Adenoide Magnet can be used like a grenade, set to activate on impact or on a timer, then thrown towards the enemy. In theory the AM should fly towards the adenoides of targets, but somewhat unexpectedly, in action it proves that adenoides tend to FLY TOWARDS the AM, taking a large chunk of the target’s face with it.

    If you and your team ARE adenoide-free, it can be convenient to simply attach the Adenoide Magnet to your belt or the front of a vehicle and leave it active constantly. In both circumstances it is advised to wear clothes that rinse off easily.

  • Explosive Paintgun of Artistic Interest

    This simple propelled explosive launcher hurls multi coloured paint globdules directly at your foe at high speed velocities, changing your once drab and dull looking action gimp into a genuinely interesting character. Watch as something that would previously been the laughing stock of many trade show conventions ago be taken seriously a worthy contender for your viable playtime! Because pretty matters for us gamers.

  • A jagged scythe on a 7 foot, at first glance, pole. This pole however shoots acid shotgun rounds from the blades end. so you slice then blow them away mid slice.

  • the Kotaku tri power/devestator

    a 3 barrel gun/weapon configured with one barrel on top an 2 on the bottom kind of like a double barrlel shot gun with 1 barrel on top. and scoped with a combination scope/laser. the laser is a real laser for killing and also functions range finder and lock on. the top barrel is for longrange. rifle ammo with special tips. the bottom 2 barrels shot shot gun ammo and specialty ammo such as heat seeking and auto lock on ammo/smart bullets gernades mini missles that can be fired by using the laser lockon/gps feature of the scope system. and for kickers it would be nice to be able to set it up on a tri pod and set it to auto scan mode to detect enemy targets and engage the by its self till you pick it back up.

  • The H.R.T (Hippie Removal Tool)

    This supersonic weapon emits a brainwave, which when on impact with an enemy, lures them into a self sense of security. Once the enemy has become less threatening, the H.R.T’s built in speaker begins emitting a slow, soothing song in which the recipient will be forced into an almost trance-like state of crossed legs and arm swaying. Recipients may also hold hands, begin dancing terribly, sing, inhale copious amounts of smoke, begin talking in low dulcet tones and may even try to build a makeshift bonfire.

    When the H.R.T’s internal emotion engine (ZING!) detects that hostility has reached acceptable low levels, a massive rocket (shaped like a Volkswagen Kombi) fires from the barrel which then explodes on impact sending a barrage of razor sharp picket signs, burning bra’s, explosive floral pants and rainbow coloured acid into the area.

    However, after being lulled into their initial trance, some enemies may suddenly realise they have become a dirty waste of space and are now a burden on the people of Pandora. They will immediately grab the nearest foe, put their head on their shoulders and release their shame via a tirade of salty tears, wailing, snot and dribble. They will immediately become hostile again, so be warned!

  • the chain reaction

    this launcher shoots flaming acid chainsaws of destruction. first, it impacts with chainsaw ferocity then, sets enemies on fire before melting their faces with acid. warning the chain reaction is not for use if you can’t laugh at dismembered flaming migits.

  • Tuesday’s entry:

    The Victa Interceptor

    In the wasteland, the grass never grows.. Saplings shed leaves with fright as the rumblings of The Victa emanate through their stunted boughs. And to The Victa’s master, everyone else is a sapling.

    “The last of the Victa Interceptors” (Said with obvious aussie accent).

    Its a weapon, its a vehicle, its a motorized garden tool. A deadly combination that’ll have you roaring with glee as you literally mow down the skags and bandits alike. The Victa Interceptor is a rideable, car-sized lawn-mower. Capable of death-defying speeds and evenly trimmed lawns. Catcher optional to collect the spoils of your ‘harvest’. Bonus one-armed leather jacket and sawn-off.

    But buyer beware, they say it is cursed. If you ever see a blue heeler out there in the wastes.. run. run your ass off and don’t look back.

  • Bling Bling Gun

    This gun can be any type of gun pistol/revolver/shotgun/machine gun/sniper rifle/launcher. So you will always have a chance to find a Bling Bling gun no matter which gun type you like best.
    A Bling Bling is a gun that converts your credits into ammo and will not use any ammo that you have. So if you have a Bling Bling Shotgun you will still be using credits as your ammo even if you already have shotgun shells. For every bullet fired you use 1 credit. Any enemy/creature killed by the Bling Bling will have a 100% chance to drop credits and any credits dropped will be increased by 50%, 75%, or 100% depending on what percentage is on the Bling Bling gun you got (which is random). Even though you will be using credits as ammo you should be getting more back than what you’re using. It’s like having a gun that makes you money. You can receive this gun at any lvl. From lvl 1 to lvl 50. The higher the enemy or creatures lvl that dropped the Bling Bling gun the more damage the gun will do. As for the looks I would make it look gold.

  • The Beardifier

    Pretty much it’s a heaps rad-looking shotgun that your parents would probably sell you for. It’s got flames and skulls and crap carved into it, it’s bad ass.

    It shoots out this trippy physics wave stuff that’s all purple (and has gold stars coming out of it, for effect!) and the enemy grows a hectic beard, and they get strangled by it.

    Don’t even try and mess with a guy with one of those.

  • Random Itemizer

    A gun that will produce a random item every time you kill an enemy/creature with it. The enemy’s or creature’s lvl doesn’t determine the quality of the item you get. This gun can be any type of gun. The lvl requirement will be lvl 50. The reason for the lvl 50 req. is because this gun will only be for people who want to farm for better loot which is what most people will be doing once they hit lvl 50. This gun will have a chance to produce health vials, ammo, grenades, grenade mods, shields, guns, gun mods, and artifacts. Now this gun will mostly produce health, ammo, and grenades. But it will have a small percentage chance to produce shields, guns, gun mods, grenade mods, and artifacts.

    Another idea I had for this gun is for the ammo that is produced. I was thinking if you had a Random Itemizer SMG it would only produce SMG ammo that way you wouldn’t have to worry about running out as ammo as quickly when your killing things trying to find better loot. It would be the same as for any other Random Itemizer gun type.

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