WIN! Two Copies Of Mass Effect 2 On PC

WIN! Two Copies Of Mass Effect 2 On PC

Commander Shepard’s space opera continues on January 28 when Mass Effect 2 launches on Xbox 360 and PC. You’ll have ten chances to win a copy over the next week. Here’s how.

UPDATE: Thursday’s draw is now closed.

We’ve got ten copies of Mass Effect 2 to give away. Specifically:

* 2 x Mass Effect 2 Collectors Edition (Xbox 360) * 5 x Mass Effect 2 (Xbox 360) * 1 x Mass Effect 2 Collectors Edition (PC) * 2 x Mass Effect 2 (PC)

Between now and Tuesday I’ll be offering up one or more of these to win each day. Today we have two copies of the PC version. It may not be the Collectors Edition we had yesterday, but you’ve got twice the chance of winning today.

In Mass Effect 2, Shepard recruits a squad of the galaxy’s most elite soldiers and assassins to undertake the most dangerous mission of all. To win a copy of Mass Effect 2, we want to know which six people (real, fictional or possibly not even people – we’ll be flexible here) you would recruit to join you on the most dangerous mission of all. Tell us which six people you’d pick and why they’re right for the job.

Leave your entry in the comments below. Multiple entries will be discarded and only your first entry will count. You have until midnight tonight to enter. The winner will be announced tomorrow at 10am when we open a new draw to win the PC version.

Good luck!

And the winner of yesterday’s Xbox 360 Collectors Edition is… Aidan Dullard! Aidan not only picked a perfectly balanced team, but he backed up his choices with impeccable logic.

1. David Attenborough – the dulcet tones of everyone’s favourite nature documentary narrator would be a welcome distraction from mercenaries, aliens, ancient unstoppable machines and other galactic baddies. Plus, he’d be handy on uncharted worlds, excitedly describing the territorial instincts of wild Geth or the feeding habits of thresher maws (best not to wonder).

2. HAL 9000 – a homicidal, omniscient talking computer would be a nice change from the Reap- oh wait. With HAL on my side; we’d win not through firepower, but by our tremendously scary voice acting and complete lack of sanity.

3. Cthulhu – It’s huge, it’s immortal and it has tentacles: what more could you want? An unpronounceable symbol of all that is evil and wriggly; nothing can stand against this indestructible, intergalactic space monstrosity. Not to be confused with the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

4. Pathogenic Bacteria – H.G. Wells’ ‘The War of the Worlds’ was perhaps the first example of galactic conflict in literature; Mass Effect 2 continues this tradition with a fine assortment of aliens, technology and general apocalypse. Wells’ Martians, however, were brought down by the tiniest living things on Earth: virulent bacteria, in an oddly delicious ironic twist. Bowing to tradition, I’d welcome these heroic saviours of humanity into my team.

5. Princess Leia – Wielding blasters and her famous ‘Cinnamon Bun’ hairstyle with equal intensity; Leia’s mix of curt royal snobbery and a precise blaster aim saved the galaxy on more than one occasion. No ‘damsel in distress’, Leia’s quick aim and even quicker temper would be an asset to any team. Plus, anyone who can come back with ‘stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerfherder’ as an insult is worth bringing along.

6. Skippy the Bush Kangaroo – Think Lassie, or Flipper, but with a pouch. An impossible mission requires an impossible hero: calm under pressure, easy to talk to and tasty if you’re in a tight spot. A fearless defender of justice and enforcer of peace; Skippy is credited with saving the lives of 40 Australians – and a wombat and a Siamese cat. On a mission to save the galaxy from the forces of darkness, a kangaroo that communicates via clicking and hand signals might not just be the weirdest thing you’ll see. Plus, he’ll get along great with David Attenborough. Skippy: The Intergalactic Kangaroo.

[Terms and Conditions]


  • I would recruit the following as my team mates:


    Yes its an unlikely team with Venom and Spiderman on the same team but they will have to put up with eachother and all of them will make a powerful team.

    Batman, Superman, Ironman WILL ALL FLY AROUND shooting and throwing objects while Spiderman and Venom will be throwing webs at enemies while swinging around in the sky. The Hulk will be the green machine who beats up everyone and throws all the cars into the river!

  • 1. Snake Pliskin – For those here who have seen the ‘Escape from’ series you’d know exactly why I’d choose him. Just need to poison him first to get the job done but before you know it he’ll be surfing waves and shooting people from gliders to get the job done. He might just cut all power to the world afterwards. Worthy loss.

    2. King of the Cosmos – Ultimate distraction character, I don’t think anyone wouldn’t be blinded by ROYAL RAINBOW!!! Failing that he could just roll battleships up and turn them into some kind of star/planet/sumo wrestler.

    3. Zhuge Liang – As a Communications Officer Zhuge Liang would be invaluable, thinking strategies on the go and making sure everyone doesn’t walk into a turret via some kind of error. His horse can’t come along, he’ll just need to live with that.

    4. Matthew Newton – Given his ability to lie his way out of any situation, would certainly be useful if we were caught by guards. Additionally, someone in the team always needs to be expendable.

    5. Fredrick Zoller – As long as there’s some kind of space bell tower and I can convince him we’re ‘Space Germany’ having this Mr. Zoller along for sniper support would be invaluable. May need to turn all life into black and white to improve his efficiency.

    6. Getter-1 – If all goes to hell, bring along a mech that has previously killed God. Can’t get much more useful than that.

    Valid e-mail = darkyoshii2k (at) yahoo (dot) com (dot) au

    • 1. Chuck Norris ( No explanation required, Due to Awsomeness levels this counts for 2 positions within the team. Which is well worth it)

      2. ….

      3 Jungle Rambo (Im thinking between rambo III and IV, Where he developed his epic bow skills and enhanced survival skills incase we are somehow stuck on a jungle planent.)

      4. The Doc From Back to the Future…. (Assuming He can build a flux capacitor into my Ship, so I can Assemble my Team and have a method of insta respawns incase any of my team.)

      5. Doctor Who (to create some kind of paradox correcting machine for my ship to allow for my insta respawn method…. since he cant use a weapon, he can just keep the ship working.)

      6. Classic Steven Segal (Before He started his Jazz band and had to use CGI to move through darkened rooms… Incase we need to sacrifice a team member, I can live without his weekly DVD releases.)

  • My Ultimate Shepard Squad:

    1. Tamed Sovereign: This guy managed to destroy a bunch of Alliance ships only using lasers from its tentacles, so naturally, he’s gonna be my heavy fire support guy. And since this thing is a true AI, it could be a companion to the Normandy SR-2 on those long, lonely space flights

    2. The Stig (from Top Gear): This guy can probably drive the Mako much better than I can, especially in those sheer cliff hilly parts of the first game (Yea the Mako isn’t making a comeback but still, a good driver is always useful)

    3. Emma Watson: With that look, her charm talent would be maxed out from the beginning of the game. She’d be able to calm down a million angry Wrexs without doing his family armour quest first. And if the need arises, she could probably be Hermione Granger and expelliarmus enemies’ weapons and omni tools and bio-amps, disabling tech, weapons and biotics.

    4. Mewtwo: The Ultimate, Kickass, Unbeatable Adept. Need I Say More?

    5. John Rambo (Before he got old :P): In those encounters to jungle type planets, this guy would be very useful. Even in city type situations, this guy would still be very useful, as he seems immortal, probably using continuous immunity with Fitness talent on max. He’ll soak up all the damage.

    6. Sheldon Cooper (From Big Bang Theory): Scientist on board, possibly accompanied by engineer Professor Frink (From Simpsons) to help me research new armour, weapons and upgrade my Normandy SR-2. Furthermore, Sheldon’s lack of understanding of everyday interactions will provide more humour than Liara’s lack of understanding of humans.

  • Gumby – flexible able to form himself into many different shapes. perfect for espionage and stealth.

    Macgyver – inventive applications of everyday items to solve complex problems. “fixer”

    Samus Aran – experienced bounty hunter with a myriad of weapons and abilities. flexible fighter also hot chick

    Gordan Freeman – scientist becomes saviour of the world. twice. brains of the outfit while still being able to hold his own if needed.

    a Predator – member of an alien race who tests their own against the universes best fighters. highly technologically advanced and powerful weaponry. killing machine

    Lara croft – acrobatic archaeologist with a great deal of combat experience. who knows what sort of random alien ruins or things we might stumble upon and need help with. also again hot chick which could make for a useful distraction what with all the acrobatics and what not.

  • 1. Commander Shepard (Adept)
    2. Commander Shepard (Engineer)
    3. Commander Shepard (Vanguard)
    4. Commander Shepard (Sentinel)
    5. Commander Shepard (Infiltrator)
    6. A never ending pack of TimTams (My Mass Effect 1 Shepard is a soldier, I don’t need another soldier; but everyone can do with a never ending pack of Tim Tams)

    BTW, all of these characters are obviously Level 60 – well…except the Tim Tams, which unfortunately don’t last long enough to advance beyond Level 1 🙁

  • 1. Chuck Norris – Because he’s Chuck Norris
    2. Morgan Freeman – That mans voice can make anyone do anything
    3. Keifer Sutherland – who wouldnt want Jack Bauer? he will do anything it takes for the greater good.
    4. Christian Bale – Tank and knows what he wants.
    5. Macgyver – We need a man who can make anything out of anything
    6. Chev Chelios – just take his heart hide it with the enemy tell him they have it
    7. Miranda Kerr – Need some super hot ass in space

  • 1. Wolverine – he cant die, hes crazy, he has freaking adamantium claws

    2. Jesus – he can heal/bring people back from the dead, moral compass.

    3. Echo (dollhouse)- she can control multiple personalities, so she can be both an elite killer, hacker, interrogater, medic.

    4. Dr Manhatten (watchmen), with added shorts – he has control over sub atomic atoms, can create clones of himself, teleport, can obliterate people with a single touch, etc

    5. Gandalf (lotr) – powerful magician, good swordsman, wise.

    6. Genghis Khan – brilliant strategist, created a huge empire out of his conquests, keen to understand his enemies and their motivations.

  • I would take senator Brown from masss.
    My wife, and Daughter, and daughters fiance Drew.
    I would take My cat Poly.
    and last but not least I would take James Bond
    I really need to win Mass effect 2

  • 1st. Josh Homme (Queens of the Stone Age, Them Crooked Vultures) – I need some sick as theme music, and I can’t really think of anyone better.

    2nd. The Soldier (TF2) – can’t really get any more insane, bloodthirsty or just plain deadly.

    3rd. Mario – He has, so far, proved unstoppable and relentless in his continued mushroom and turtle bloodhunt and if he can put his determination to other pursuits, there is no stopping him.

    4th. The Major (Ghost in the Shell) – Invisibility, female, cybernetic, nothing more is needed to be said.

    5th. Admiral Ackbar (Star Wars) – Because I need someone to find traps. That, and he seems to be naturally charismatic and could direct a ship pretty well.

    6th. Tim Buckley (CAD comic creator) – Cannon fodder. He will be forced to run straight into the enemies screaming ‘shoot me’. It should work, so long as the rest of the team don’t shoot him first.

  • My six squad mates that I would choose would be
    1. Dutch from the first predator movie for the fact that he survived against a predator makes him a perfect choice and a bad ass.

    2. A predator: come on having a predator in the squad would be very handy to take out multiple enemies with his gadgets and weapons and not forgetting that it can become invisible.

    3. Solid Snake: just saying Solid Snake speaks for itself this guy is just awesome and his CQC skills will be very handy as well.

    4. Bayonetta: has 2 hand-held guns and 2 guns on her heels – check, has awesome finishing moves – check, is a sexy sexy witch – check and check 🙂 plus the squad has got to have at least 1 hot chick why not her.

    5. Terminator 2’s Arnie: yes I know another Arnie character but he is one of my most favourite characters and his strength and abilities would be invaluable plus having two Arnie’s is better then one.

    6. Mace Windu: ok why not choose obi wan or luke etc. well because its Samuel L. Jackson baby 🙂 and his jedi force powers would allow getting past difficult areas or be able to force grab or push a guard at any time as well hehe.

  • 1. David Bowie: He’s a science fiction bard with song buffs. “Ashes to Ashes” gives +4 to hit to all party members within range. Also he can turn into an owl.

    2. Jay Leno: For his mad thief skills.

    3. Mark Brandon “Chopper” Read: A good tank that’s not weighed down by the encumburance of ears.

    4. Cammy White: Love inerest for the main character (me) and token female. Because it would be weird having a mass of polygons (or pixels) walking around with the main party, this would be Cammy as portrayed by Kylie Minogue from the 1994 cinematic abortion. And you know what? I’m okay with that.

    5. Dr. Cox from TV’s Scrubs: Perry would fill in the healer aspect of the party whilst allowing for witty, slanderous banter between the other party members.

    6. Pigsy: The lovable pig demon/pervert from ABC cult classic “Monkey” would serve as both the comedy relief and damage dealer of the party. His muck rake is an unrivalled weapon/garden tool.

  • Given Wrex looks like a goldfish, here’s my ALL CAT SUPERSTAR LINE-UP.

    1. Liono
    2. Any Lolcat
    3. Keyboard cat
    4. Lasagne Cat (Youtube it)
    5. Battlecat
    6. The Situation (not a cat, but impeccable abs)

  • 6 People I’d choose for a dangerous mission:
    1. Marty the fly (from the mortein commercials), consequent advertisements have proven that despite being attacked by all powerful mortein spray he simply cannot die. His small size would also make for excellent recon.
    2. Wally, from Where’s Wally fame, with the unique ability to camouflage himself anywhere, despite very noticeable red and white attire. He would be perfect to sneak into enemy territory. By the time the entertained enemy has found him, it will have been too late.
    3. Morgan Freeman, with an uncanny ability to Jedi mind trick everyone with his soothing voice. Despite his aged appearance is also a master of the deadly Tai bo.
    4. Mario, frequently the sole defender of the mushroom kingdom against a multitude of foes. Despite being rather rotundy has deadly agility, favouring despatching of foes by jumping on their head. Also makes use of powerful reagents to become invincible, fly, shoot fire and ice and substantially change his size.
    5. The Rabbit of Caerbannog. (, this mighty rabbit able to decapitate any foe with amazing speed would ensure the path to victory would be covered with blood. It is said that only the holy hand grenade of Antioch can destroy this beast, but the sacred item has been lost to history.
    6. Team Fortress 2’s Demoman. Taking the amazing rage of a one eyed African-Scotsman explosives expert and using it effectively would be no easy task. But recently smarting from losing his best friend, and worse a secret weapon. The Demoman is keen to prove himself.

  • 1. Homer Simpson – Sure, he may be an utter idiot, but let’s face the facts. The man can withstand an absurd amount of pain, has been to hell and back, and is even an effective assassin at times.

    2. Derek Styles – Every team needs a healer or a field medic. Why not one that managed to defeat various mutant strains of viruses that are close to impossible to defeat? And hey, when you’re that effective with scapels, lasers and what not, you’d also make an efficient fighter too.

    3. Freddie Mercury – Arguably one of the greatest, if not the greatest, frontmen in music history. Freddie’s able to distract and blow away enemies with his ability to rock, and that mustache is pretty awesome on it’s own.

    4. Heihachi Mishima – Every team needs that one dude that can right up close and bring utter devastation to the enemy. Sure, his family may be in utter disarray, but when you’re the leader of a huge corporation, have survived massive explosions that were supposed to have claimed your life and could possibly survive in space, and awesome enough to fight for the Soul Calibur and Soul Edge, nothing else matters.

    5. Captain Falcon – It has been proven that those tanks in the Mass Effect universe are utterly useless to drive. So you’ll want someone who is that damned good at driving that they can take even the most useless of vehicles and make them drive well.

    And his skill doesn’t stop at driving. He’s reportedly got one of the most vicious punches in the universe, and a pretty damned useful kick as well. Need I say more?

    6. Batman – If all else fails, turn to the goddamned Batman. Can hold his own with just about anybody, is insanely prepped for just about any possible situation and in pretty much every era, has managed to stay badass.

    E-mail address is

  • 1. Bruce Lee: He’ll do on it’s own, no need for another 5 people…
    2. McGiver: Yo know you need him!!!
    3. Cat (from Red Dwarf): To put a bit of style in the group.
    4. Eddie McGuire: Ooops! How did he get in here???
    5. A Monkey: Everybody needs a monkey

  • 1. David Wildgoose. Purely because mentioning his name is a surefire charm to win. Right?

    2. Stephen Colbert/Tek Jansen. Because when going into the infinite to make out with alien space babes and fight evil, you need Stephen Colbert at your side. Alongside his own voice (classified as a weapon in six different countries) and his inane stupidity, enemies would be unable to differentiate between reality… and wikiality.

    3. Neil Gaiman. Not really for his combat prowess, but I think his writing would be goddamn incredible if he was writing IN SPACE.

    4. Bayonetta. For the style… and the boobies. Also, she has guns EVERYWHERE.

    5. Jonathan Coulton. Our merry band will require entertainment when we are finally captured and forced to work on Chiron Beta Prime by our robot overlords. Did I mean overlords? I meant, uh, ‘protectors’.

    6. Kyle Katarn. Snarky force-wielding bastard that he is. And he has a lightsabre! And he knows space. Listen, a Jedi who was also a mercenary and has walked the path Katarn has is welcome on my team any day of the week.

  • Trent Easton with his skills and His golden gun he would easily handle the opposition
    Corporal Adrian Shepherd – because it would be good to see him doing something new
    Dopefish – don’t know useful it would be, the enemy might laugh themselves to death
    Shaquille o’Neal – his Shaq-Fu skills wlll be useful in close combat
    T101 – a Nigh Indestructible Killing Machine is always useful
    Jack Bauer – be able to torture enemies for Information

  • I’d take my trusty sidekick Wookie, an old man whom suspiciously looks like a Jedi, a young boy, two droids and no questions asked.

    We’d also pick up an imprisoned princess along the way.

    Hey, it’s worked before!

  • 1. The Terminator – for obvious reasons.
    2. John Connor – just in case aforementioned gets out of hand.
    3. GlaDOS – cake.
    4. Stephen Hawking – to help us exploit wormholes.
    5. Stephen Conroy – to threaten Internet filters that don’t work anyway.
    6. Fat Princess – to distract the enemy and eat GlaDOS’ left over cake. I have allergies.

  • 1: Yoda – Well just saying light-sabers would probably be enough but the ability to crush a geths neck with a simple finger gesture is rather useful.
    2: Superman – Every team needs a tank and who better than the man of steel. Also the super speed may be useful to for stealth missions providing he doesnt stand still (the red cape thing kinda stands out).
    3: Spock – Well you always need a science officer and nothing is more obvious than the vulcan elite. And who needs mass relays when you have an expert on warp theory!
    4: X5-452 (Max) – A genetically engineered super human is also useful but add to the fact she was played by Jessica Alba and need i say more.
    5: Majel Barrett – never underestimate the importance of having the right voice for your computers AI. Even the worst news can be received calmly if its just said in the right tone.
    6: The monkeys from the start of 2001 space odyssey – When it all hits the fan just throw some monkeys with clubs in to the fray and sit back and have some mohitos with Max and yoda.

  • 1. Conan the Barbarian – For the Muscles
    2. Steven Hawking – For the Brains
    3. Captain Jean-luc Picard – For any Captaining/Piloting Skills
    4. Ritchie Benaud – For that sly wit and classic comments suited for any situation
    5. Tin Tin (and snowy) – Heroism to save the day.
    6. Batman – Dude, he’s freaking Batman!

  • Wow, its kinda hard to choose a party, but ill do my best.

    1. An Unlikely Hero – Me:
    While i may not be space cowboy, or a inter galactic general, my dedication will help keep this group together, we shall not fail.

    If our party happens to fail, i have no one else to blame but myself.

    2. The Sexy Assassin – Bayonetta:
    A party always needs a person who you can rely on to get the dirty jobs done, and with this choice i get to assassinate my enemies with style.

    With her legs, they should die smiling.

    3. The Comic Relief – Simon Pegg:
    He has been in many movies from battling zombies to space battles. If i wanted anyone to give me a good laugh in the face of danger, it would be him.

    4. The Bad Ass – Reggie Fils-Aime:
    Who else would you want, with skills like “kicking ass” and “taking names” what boss would be able to stand up to us?

    And with a cash flow as big as his, we would always have money for upgrades.

    5. The Rock – The Rock:
    The Universe is under threat, the people needs a champion, and there is only one peoples champion.

    He has a Game Plan, Walking Tall, no one can stand up to us, not even the Tooth Fairy.

    6. The Spy – Sean Connery:
    In a universe where the lives are shaken, not stirred, the times need a smooth spy, one who laughs in the face of danger.

    No woman will be able to resist his charms, and able to get out of any situation, no matter how dire. He is the perfect choice.

  • 1st Master Chief (Halo): Fits right in with the motif. Cool under pressure. A great front line troop and a great ally. Besides he can take enough shots to be sent in first.

    2nd Gen Jack O’Niell (Stargate): Great under pressure. Fantastic squad leader. Excellent soldier. Who else would you want to lead a squad to save the galaxy? Beside who else has done it before?

    3rd Pilot (Farscape): Someones gotta fly the ship. Pilot can do it all and on his own. Pilot also provides a great moral compass and its not like you’ll get a word out of Master Chief.

    4th T1000 with T-X softeware (Terminator): Lets face it. The T1000 is the coolest robot of all time. The T-X had some fantastic abilities such as hacking technology with her voice. The T-1000 has all the hardware he needs to use such skills, add in the software and it would be unstoppable.

    5th Gandalf the white (Lord of the Rings): Heres a man thats wise and powerful. He makes all the magic users in Mass Effect look like sparkly sideshow tricksters. He would act as the wise go to guy, and the great backup and support using the arts of magic.

    6th Michael Atkinson (South Australian Douche): Michael would provide the team with the much needed negotiating skills. Michael can form an opinion and seek to convince others of that opinion without the need of fact or resources. May also be useful as a decoy.

    N.B. I may have mispelt Governer General.

  • 1. Pvt. J. Vasquez – The Tiger Woods of weaponry, I’d hate to think what she would be like in the sack.

    2. Tony Stark – Give this man a matchbox and he’ll build you an Armored Personnel Carrier.

    3. Oprah – Her Book Club reviews a book and the following day it is a bestseller! Anyone with that level of control over people is a MUST.

    4. Ash – Handy with a chainsaw, handy with a shotgun, can convert a windmill in a weapon of mass destruction.

    5. David Copperfield – The dude has magic. And if he doesn’t, he’s clever enough to convince us otherwise.

    6. John Coffey – He can crush your skull with his hands AND his mind!

  • 1. The Incredible Hulk (HULK SMASH!)
    – for any heavy lifting that needs doing.

    2. War (From darksiders)
    – come on, the guy’s a bad ass

    3. Chuck Norris
    – Chuck Norris doesn’t have a control key on his computer, Chuck Norris is always in control

    4. R2D2
    come on, it’s R2D2

    5. some rather attractive female
    (come on, it get’s lonely in space)

    6. Ross Noble
    for comedic relief

  • The Rock. He can toss the words as good as anyone. = Good negotiator not to mess with + bad things happen when he picks up a gun.
    Jean Claude Van Damme. – Down low no one can match him. = Can bring em down to size and he is handy with a gun
    Hulk Hogan. – For an old guy he can still pull the babes, all the over 50’s = great negotiator and guns are wimps for him.
    The Hulk. Muscles for the win. = No one can keep him out, not even concrete or steel
    Bugs Bunny. He digs like a demon on steroids. = Very helpful to get under a problem and brains beats guns.

  • 1. The Christian God (real or fictional, it doesnt matter right?) – tHe’ll probably just sit there and let bad things happen to the rest of the team, citing it as being for our own good. Occasionally he would help out with the odd miracle to save the day.

    2. Barack Obama – He would come with a full contingent of Secret Service guards in addition to being the leader of the group and sweet talking all the villains.

    3. Ma-ti from Captain Planet – I dont care what people say, Heart is an awesome power. Great for wilderness ops.

    4. Mr. T – When he was in the A-Team. The muscle/heavy weapons guy. Great for keeping team morale high with his crazy catch phrases.

    5. Wesley Crusher – From Star Trek: The Next Generation. Extra insurance in case God doesnt want to help out. He can save the ship with minutes to spare!

    6. Dr. Who (David Tennant version) – Who wouldnt want a Time Lord with a Sonic Screw Driver? He and Wesley could easily take down any kind of enemy base just by thinking about it! Not to mention this opens the door to adventures through space and time.

  • My hat goes off to Aiden… im still giggling at his entry.

    Thursdays team of awesome consists of:

    Madeline McCann – On the travels to the front lines, everyone needs to stay relaxed and what better way than with a good old fashioned game of ‘hide and seek’. Given that shes the reigning champion, the game could last the entire trip!

    Zinadine Zidane – In the heat of battle, you always need someone who is willing to go in ‘head first’

    Freddy Krueger – With the looks of a deep fried mars bar, Freddy will instill fear in the hearts of the alien horde. Now im not up to speed with the aliens and whether or not they have dreams, but if they do, they’re boned.

    John McClane – ‘Yippie-ki-yay motherf**ker’. With his rants and witticisms who wouldnt want to be next to this guy in a war. The worlds greatest criminal minds and mercs couldnt kill him, so hes in.

    Mel Gibson – The man has played the ‘Road Warrior’, the leader of the Scottish rebellion, the leader of a militia in the US civil war, a mullet wearing “gung-ho” cop and had the hide to go on a tirade about antisemitism… hes got 2IC written all over him.

    Dark Phoenix – Lycra clad with ample bosom this red haired temptress is just what everyone needs on their team. With the ability to go flippo at the drop of a hat and the powers to vaporize foes with a mere though she is jewel in the crown of my team.

  • 1. Lucy Pinder – As a distraction method, way to sexy not to be a distraction
    2. Micheal Atkinson – as BAIT ( probably be eaten ) “hopefully”. Because he’s just a jerk
    3. Micheal C Hall ( dexter ) as a silent killer ( rogue )
    4. Hugh Laurie ( house ) – Battle Medic
    5. Silvester Stallon ( Rambo ) – Real life Juggernaut ( one man Army )
    6. Chris Rock ( Resident Black dude ) – Dont be racist ;D – Comedy Relief to confuse the enemy

  • Number Six – For the obvious reasons! Also, shes hot.

    Capt James Tiberius Kirk – Original version. If you dont know, you just havent watched enough Star Trek.

    Artemis Entreri – Always good to have an wicked assassin on the payrol.

    Amy Winehouse – Just admit it. Besides, everyone loves a celebrity trainwreck.

    Faye Valentine – Can man love a shader cell? Im willing to try.

    Hiro Nakamura – Geek legend with the ability to bend space and time.. ASSA!

  • Congrats Aidan! And good luck to everyone who enters.

    So if Shepard’s scouring the galaxy for recruits made of awesome, I figure evil or not, the galaxy needs you. Gotta fight fire with fire; gather up six Big Bads to beat down on Mass Effect’s Big Bad, the Reapers. My picks?

    (Spoiler alert!)

    Mewtwo: I know, a Pokemon. But, let’s see, for a cartoon that’s considered “kiddy”, what did he do in the first movie? Broke out of his lab, killed a bunch of scientists, created an enhanced clone army, planned for genocide. Powerful, ruthless. Biotic implants? Pfffft. He can deflect a fire attack, a massive energy beam and a charging rhinoceros-like creature made of stone, then proceed to fling ten year old children a hundred meters into the air. Just by thinking about it.

    Kefka (Final Fantasy VI): Kills Emperor Gestahl, the man he was supposed to serve. From memory, still the only FF villain to ever succeed in screwing the world over. Essentially becomes a god. Oh, and is a clown. Clowns are fluffing scary. Mimes I can cope with, but not freaking clowns. I mean, who takes clowns seriously? They’re just a bunch of middle-aged men who somehow figure drawing on a pasty face will entertain children. What kind of horrible power do they hold? Children love them, but grown men have nightmares about them. How does that even work? I could be talking to one of the meanest mercenaries in the galaxy, and I bet even he’d/she’d/it’d pee their pants a little when Kefka rocks up beside me.
    Man, I hate clowns. They scare me. Therefore, by extrapolation everybody else does.

    General Shepherd (Modern Warfare 2): Engineered the whole damn war. Pretty much succeeded too, even though he’s dead. Sounds like Optimus Prime. And good lord, the man must be at least in his 50s, but even after crashing in a helicopter, he still manages to beat two extremely skilled soldiers (with probably a billion kills to their name. Each.) into bloody pulps? That’s pure soldier material right there.

    Shodan (System Shock/2): GLaDOS will always hold a place in our hearts for being one of the best homicidal AIs , but nothing compares to Shodan. Her/it’s ethical constraints are removed, proceeds to kill pretty much everyone, knows exactly what the consequences of such actions are, mocks you, but I suppose what elevates her above GLaDOS was just the atmosphere in the game. She was a sheer terror.

    Don Paolo (Professor Layton): criminal mastermind, scientist blah blah blah. But mainly, he managed to convince the good Professor that he was Flora for a good few hours. This is an average sized middle aged man who somehow manage to trick everyone into thinking he was a small, teenage girl. Seriously. It’s kinda creepy, actually, it’s really creepy, but the man has skills. As the resident scientist, he can also do all the tedious stuff too. Planet surveying and mineral marking? That sort of stuff gets his blood pumping, heck yeah. Just, you know, keep the fetishes to a minimum.

    Lavos (Chrono Trigger/Chrono Cross): Psch, Reapers. All you do is swing by every thousands if years and destroy everything. Screw that. Some disgusting humans, these pitiful creatures that were more or less livestock, these things defeated him? Repulsive. But hey, out of spite, he might as well evolve into the Time Devourer and END ALL OF TIME. Take that, you jerks.

  • 1. Harley Quinn (Arkham Asylum version) – hand to hand combat combined with a seriously unpredictable personality will keep enemies on their toes (right up to the point she knocks them down)

    2.Lara Croft – very handy with dual weapons and plenty of acrobatic moves gives her formidable takedown power while being a very hard target to hit.

    3. Blood Rayne – slice and dice baby, plus she has the ability to replenish her health and take out baddies at the same time.

    4. Samus (Metroid) – heavy weapons specialist. Her ability to roll into a nice compact ball makes her a fantastic scout, pathfinder.

    5. Kasumi (DoA) – Acrobatic ninja who can throw baddies through walls and down into pits (and keep attacking them the whole time) – did I mention she’s a ninja?

    6. Taki (Soul Calibur) – See Kasumi but with extra stealth – can never have too many ninjas!

    A formidible force in battle there is the additional advantage that I can while away the quiet/travel times staring at some seriously major boobage!!

  • 1) Dane Cook: The mediocrity of his vomit inducing “comedy” would wreak havoc with enemy sensors and soldiers alike. With a swift “Hey, you know how in every game they have a code for a minigun? HAHAHAHAHA!” the enemy soldiers would violently erupt in a fountain of half digested Varren Meat.

    2) Michael Atkinson: Illogical? No chance of success? This sounds exactly like Michael Atkinson’s current war on Democracy and Rights. This galaxy needs a hero (for the children), one who’s vigilant and will not falter in the face of adversary or logic! He’s going to be that hero, whether you like it or not!

    3) Carlos Mencia: Our infamous spy with more skills than Decoy Octopus. With the uncanny ability to copy everything about you, even your jokes, he would assuredly slip by all enemy defences.

    4) Mackey McCandlish : Our trusty assassin who has had a lot of practice sticking knives into peoples backs. Trust me on that; I play Modern Warfare 2 on PC.

    5) Nolan North: He’s in everything ever created ever.

    6) Russel Crowe: The deadliest Phone-slinger fightin’ ‘round the world! While in heated combat with an employee at the Mercer Hotel, he was amazed to discover that his caveman like demeanour gave him an aptitude for melee combat with a phone. Known to say “The Rabbitohs are MINE!”

  • 1.Duke Nukum: Because he kicks a** and chews bubble gum.
    2.Link: The man can get you out of a tight spot. *haya* *ha*
    3.Solid Snake: When All Guns Blazing just won’t work.
    4.Eddie Riggs: \m/ Everyone needs a bard.
    5.Ryu(Blue): Blue is stronger then White.
    6.Mario: The dynamic that is Mario, adds a number of functionality to a team with specifics. Mario has the ability to use range (FireFlower), fly (Raccoon) and even swim (Frog Suit). Mario has continuously thwarted his enemies not matter how many times Princess gets kidnapped. The man never stops fighting, he even fights in his dreams! It is undeniable that this sort of calibre is integral to any group.

  • peter.1000 gmail com
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    1. Yuki Nagato: she wouldn’t kill the fun of a challenging situation unless it needed a little obliteration. Super-hackers are always necessary. Endless skill-set applications, momentarily learning further skills where necessity dictates. Resistant to projectiles, piercing attack damage and interrogation.

    2. Osama Bin Laden: the innate abilities of creating enemies when there are none, sending waves of local civilians armed with said enemies’ own weapons in place of fighting himself and also hiding in plain sight are invaluable tools for Experience-grinding.

    3. Gordon Freeman: a lone-wolf, ventilation-dwelling radioactive-man who inspires all of the plausible near-by and half-dead comrades to act as his meat-shields, diversions, walking vitality/ammo dispensers, maintenance personnel and pawns of general hallway congestion. Well versed in personally carrying and effectively utilising an absurd amount of weaponry. His anatomy is supportive of instantaneous self-regeneration when consuming anything. Communicative skills are unfortunate, highly resistant to interrogation.

    4. Commander Shepard: screw getting personally involved in galactic conflict – have you seen what happened to all those respectable fanatics people who got *too* into Star Wars? Nuh-uh.

    5. James Cameron: good things come to those who wait and given the supremely dangerous nature of the mission – waiting ten years for a powerful, seductive propaganda film based around anti-conflict will be worth the vigorous, yet temporary, softening that my foes would sustain. Otherwise acting as financial and creative support and later as decoy.

    6. Broly: his power is maximum.

  • 1. Ellen DeGeneres: Because every suicide squad needs to dance a little bit every now and then

    2. Tobias Funke: Because analrapy is great for keeping up crew morale.

    3. Germain Greer: She could opinion the collectors to death about how there are zero female turians.

    4. Lady Ga Ga: her godawful music could easily clear large areas of all hostile lifeforms in seconds.

    5. Sarah Palin: She can see russia from her house! Imagine how helpful epic eyesight like that could be in space.

    6. Kyle Sandilands- Because noone would miss him.

  • Doing something a bit different this time, going against the general trend of what i’m seeing people post. Here’s my list:

    1: An Action hero
    2: An Internet Meme
    3: A Sci-Fi reference
    4: A Video Game Character
    5: A Historical Figure
    6: A personal friend

  • Wow, AWESOME! Thanks so much David! 🙂

    I think I’ve linked my facebook account to this profile, or if that doesn’t work my email is aidandullard (at) hotmail (dot) com

    Really made my day 😀

  • Chief Inspector Clouseau – Because no one else is better at distraction.

    The Monster in the Shadows from Order of the Stick – Because no one else is better at extraction.

    Galactus – Because no one else is better at destruction.

    Inara from Firefly – Because no one else is better at interaction.

    V from V for Vendetta – Because no one else is better at insurrection.

    Chuck Norris – Because no one else is better at action.

  • For a mission this tough there really only is one man for the job, the galaxies finest actor, oscar winner Nicolas Cage.
    I propose a team made up of six of Nicolas Cages finest roles, perfectly balanced and harmoniously synchronised to each other through the cage mind.

    1. Charlie/Donald Kaufamn – Twin brothers sharing the same body, using their unique individual skills in character development and story structure to forge perfect screenplays and oversee a team of volatile performances from their team.

    2. Dr. Stanley Goodspeed – FBI chemical weapons expert and ‘Rocket Man’. Fond of the Beatles and eats pressure for breakfast. All round good guy, knows Sean Connery too.

    3. Terence ‘Bad Lieutenant’ McDonough – Spinal injury and subsequent medication has left him unable to feel pain and chemically unbalanced, capable of withstanding great amounts of damage and owner of a lucky crack pipe +10. “shoot him, his soul is till dancing”

    4. Big Daddy – Expert in fatherly motivational speeches as well as obscure comic book knowledge. Capable of summoning his daughter Hit Girl and dealing massive over1000 damage.

    5. Fu Manchu – The Diabolical Mandarin. Leader of Victorian London’s underworld and keeper of mystical secrets. Excellent moustache.


  • The Brains:
    Krang (From Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) – Nothing can or could ever be brainier than a living, talking, crawling brain. Coupled with this Krang comes complete with a robotic exosuit for stomping and smashing anything in his path. Sure he maybe an evil mastermind with plans of human domination, but that just gives us so side missions to do, extending the length of the entire mission.

    The Comedy:
    Mortimer “Morte” Rictusgrin (From Planescape Torment) – Witty, sarcastic and all together humourous. This undead, floating skull knows how to use a taunt. Still not entirely sure how he is able to float around and everyone need someone in the team who will call them “chief” (Maxwell Smart didn’t cut it in the flying skull department).

    The Lets-cash-in-for-more-sales:
    Space Vampire Dude – Probably available as the first DLC on my space mission to save the galaxy, the Space Vampire Dude will undoubtedly look like Robert-whats-his-face from those Twilight movies. He will also come with overpowered skills and/or character bound weapons that make him a no brainer choice. This unexpected add-on to the group will fund the next few DLC packs though, which may end up helping the team, rather than just being eye-candy for a new tweenybopper Mass Effect market.. Will also sparkle for no good reason.

    The Glitched Mission Giver:
    Saved Asari Scientist – Whenever you are just a few XP short of that next level that will give you access to that badass new biotic power, just turn to her and complete the mission (again). BAM! 1000XP. Need 1,000,000 credits for that achievement unlock that gives you the best gear in the game, leave a weight on the enter key to spam the “Mission complete” Dialogue. Cheap and Cheating? Sure! But I’m in it to save the Galaxy. Not win hearts and minds.

    The (Hypocritical-)Holier-than-thou:
    Harry Connick Jr. – You need a special kind of attitude to be on Rook’s team. You need someone to keep the group in line with a strong moral code. To complain when we don’t treat others fairly and to congratulate us when we do what’s best and fair. Harry Connick Jr fits the bill perfectly. I can see the dialogue choices aboard the Normandy now as we slowly discover that Harry himself was involved in a skit portraying racial stereotyping. As we are presented with this knowledge we are given two options: Forgive him and (Signal Ashley).

    The Wild Card:
    The Dodgey Ethernet Cable (That hooks me up to my adsl modem) – Will it work today? Won’t it? Jiggle here. Jiggle there. A few lost packets here and there. With its level of unpredictability you never know what will happen. Will it save all man and alienkind? or doom us to the deepest, darkest pits of hell? Oh! There we go flashing lig…… n top of that it wil… ies up bad guy… reat with the ladi… ooks a wicked roast chi…. nd when you are in a bi…. richer than astronauts.

  • Maximus Decimus Meridius (Gladiator): Even at his lowest point and on the brink of death he still manages to kick ass.

    The Spy (TF2): This man’s sneakiness could make or break the team.

    Zaraki Kenpachi (Bleach): The man is literally insane and cares about nothing else but to fight.

    Michelle Rodriguez: Easy on the eyes and a tough girl.

    Jimmy Carr: To keep the crews dress standards intact and keep the enemy distracted with his hilarious one liners.

    Han solo: The Millenium Falcon is sure to come in handy at some stage.

  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer – The theory behind slaying demons and vampires should hopefully apply to whatever enemies are present in Mass Effect 2.
    EBGames Employee – With special abilities such as wielding strategy guides and offering disc guarantees and second hand items, EB Guy will be handy for overwhelming and confusing enemies with things they never asked for.
    Count Dracula – If Buffy can keep away from him, the Prince of Darkness will be a formidable ally with his undead abilities such as not needing to breathe in space and on non-oxygen planets, saving a space suit for someone else.
    That Julie lady who won Master Chef – If you’re going to be out and about you need a good chef to make sure you’re not eating space sludge for dinner. With any luck she can weild a saucepan as a weapon or set something other than the kitchen on fire.
    Stephen Fry – His sweet voice will keep us calm in the most tense of firefights, and he can narrate the war documentary at the same time.
    Neil Armstrong – With the ragtag team I jhave selected above, we really should have someone who knows about space flight.

  • 1. Vladimir Lenin and Karl Marx (Chimera)
    The “Father’s of Communism” are back with a vengeance, and this time they’ve got a whole heck of a lot more than political theory to throw at you. The first time Shepard saw his science lab’s capabilities for massive amounts of science he knew what had to be done. After seven days of grueling scientific science he had finally succeeded in creating the greatest political powerhouse known to man, Vladimarx Bearnin. Half Lenin, half Marx, half bear, 200% awesome.

    2. Theodore Roosevelt
    He lived as a decorated colonel in the U.S. army, avid hunter of large beasts and the greatest U.S. president of all time. He was reborn as the hellspawn that Shepard has come to know as “Big T”. While doing research for his now best selling novel: “Space Cupid: How to Get Laid in Four Missions”, Shepard came across some ancient historical records depicting Roosevelt hunting bears from his personal Zepplin, and decided that if Bearnin ever got out of control he would need a strong, moustached hunter on his side, and decided to construct a robotic Roosevelt replica. After the compiling sequence finished the Robo-Rosie emerged holding what can only be described as a laser-guided rocket fueled revolver launcher. Theodorobot turned to Shepard, smiled, and said “You know what they say, speak softly and carry a huge gun”.

    3. Steven Seagal
    On a brisk summer afternoon in space Shepard came across a large chunk of ice, floating aimlessly through uncharted territory. The ship’s tractor beam had been recently been disabled, but luckily Big T still remembered his lassoing tricks from his days as a “Leave No Back Unbroken” cowboy. The ice chunk was retrieved with relative ease, and Shepard began the heating process. After five hours of bombardment with super-heated lasers, Seagaul was finally free of his frozen tomb. Seagaul jumped up suddenly and began explaining his situation to Vladimarx. According to Seagaul his home planet had in-cased him in ice millions of light years ago/away (In units of time AND space) as punishment for creating his third album, which had apparently caused world- wide panic and hysteria. Shepard was unsure of what to do with the buck-naked monster of a man that lied before him, but his instinct told him that adding Steven to the team was the right choice, it was his destiny. (Plus he promised to brew up some of his once world-famous energy drink: Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt)

    4. Mr. Freeze (Batman & Robin version)
    I had forgotten to mention this but just as Seagal was lassoed into the hangar and the science lab assistants started analysis, one of the interns remarked “That’s Ice Cold”, and was instantly possessed by the spirit of once great supervillan Mr. Freeze. Shepard had no practical use for a blue intern that had no abilities other than being very cold and being witty when it came to the creation of cool puns, but in Shepard’s dark and twisted world Freeze’s light-hearted banter shone like a rocket revolver, and he was eventually won over. (Note: Mr. Freeze is an obvious choice for any super-team, I don’t feel like I have to explain why if you’ve watched the masterpiece that is Batman & Robin)

    5. Segata Sanshiro
    After a few years together “Shepard’s Little Angels” (that was the name for Shepard’s crew, who were now dressing like a 50’s greaser gang) had grown tired of eachother’s company, and unmotivated to engage in fitting gang-activities. (Dancing, knife fights, etc) While exploring a forest moon on a mission from Shepard Mr. Freeze came upon a small cave, and decided to check it out. He found an old man surrounded by candles in a deep state of meditation. Freeze introduced himself: “Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well. What can I call you?”. “I am Segata Sanshiro” replied the old man. “I thought they put you on ice, didn’t you blow up in space?”. “No, they only thought I was dead. When the rocket blew up I was thrown into space, and traveled for many lightyears (again, space AND time) before reaching this moon”. “Cool story pops, you want a lift?”. “Yes, you are a most honorable tsuwamono.” (Translator’s note: tsuwamondo means “Warrior”) And so it came to pass, Segata was lassoed on board the wessel and proved to be an invaluable asset to Shepard’s team, who he motivated with a unique Geisha dance passed down from Sanshiro to Sanshiro for generations. (Note: If you want proof of Sanshiro’s abilities, watch the commercials, or understand that by looking at something he can instantly make it explode.)

    6. Tali
    Except this time you get to have sex with her. And her butt is bigger this time. Keep the mask on though, I don’t want any surprises. Her ASSests are obviously being ridiculously attractive, she has those mind power things I guess, but mostly just the having sex with her part.
    It’s worth, it trust me.

  • 1. Monkey – Monkey, the titular character from the ‘monkey’ series would be the ideal team mate in pretty much any setting. The reasons are thus, he knows magic, is a multiple arms expert, capable of leaping across *continents* in a single jump. All this makes him essentially a one man search and destroy team yet despite all this is human sized therefore he can actually wear half the armor we would give him. He’d be the Wrex of my team… only with a faux Chinese accent and fast paced double entendres.

    2. JC Denton – JC, naturally, is another prime candidate for a mass effect dream team. His cold and efficient personality allows him to focus on the mission along with his ability to stealthily or nor so stealthily bypass enemy positions means he can effectively choose what would be the best option at any given time. Offensively his capabilities allow him to flat-out destroy any foe either electrical or organic, thus making him a excellent choice for just about any given mission. Additionally his vision is augmented, meaning he can wear his sunglasses at any time.

    3. Megaman – A robot true, but bare with me here. Megaman is a high speed, agile assualt machine capable of not only wiping out vast hordes of enemies but also *learning* from killing them. His rough human size allows him to easily fit into corridors but also to but armed and armoured with any human-sized equipment. I’d image his kindly, steady-going but self-sacrificing nature would mesh well with any team with so much of a hint of morality.

    4. Simon Tam – A medic and up and coming master mind, Dr. Tam would be capable of keeping the team patched up along with giving tactical and strategic advise. Coming from the firefly, he’d already had his teeth cut concerning space combat. That said, compared to other members of the team he’d be a non-combatant but given his other skills, I don’t think they’d care.

    5. Kyle Katarn – From the Dark Forces series, Kyle is an action hero in his own right. Capable of using the force, a menagerie of fire arms as well as the illustrious light saber, Kyle is a world class combatant capable of going toe to toe with any biotic or tech and easily pulling them to pieces. These along his wit, cunning and general genre savviness would make him ideal for any away mission.

    6. Jamie Hyneman – Of ‘Mythbusters’ fame, Hyneman would be our premiere demolitions expert. Capable of not only forming the idea of but also creating contrived mechanical devices, Jamie would be able to point out ‘there’s your problem’ in any situation. While it’s true that he’s essentially another non-combatant, when you have the likes of Kyle Katarn and *Monkey* on your team you don’t need much else. Not only would he easily pounce ideas off Simon and patch up Megaman but his seemingly endless pool of experience would make him a godsend for any unorthodox mission.

  • 1. Burk. If he can deal with what’s under that Trapdoor, he can deal with anything.

    2. Carmine. But this time he’s going to make it to the end of the game, dammit. Carmine? Carmine??? Noooooooooo!

    3. Felicia Day. If you’re going to have a token chick, might as well be one who can play. And she can play, if ya know what I mean…

    4. Ben Croshaw. Just in case we’re enjoying the game too much and are in danger of a Korean 72-hour-death-session, he can tell us why the game actually sucks, and bring us back down to earth.

    5. Johnny Utah. Because we’re a bit short of testosterone here, and he’s young, dumb and full of accurate marksmanship.

    6. Aidan Dullard, because he’s got the same surname as me, so he must be cool, and he won yesterday’s comp (making me think I’d won it, dammit), so he’ll clearly know how to play the game.

  • ok lets see. i might take a slightly different spin and only recruit characters from Bioware Games.

    Minsc (bg1) – a no brainer, Minsc’ and his ability to wield a sword with the righteous but kicking justice is both feared and respected across the realms, it wouldn’t take too much to get him used to the idea of pointing a shotgun instead of a sword.. and Boo would finally be back in his element, and most likely able to recruit miniature giant space hamsters to your cause!

    Bastilla Shan (kotor) – Her battle meditation would come in quite handy during some of the more dicey encounters with the reapers/collectors. not to mention the lightsaber factor. give a jedi knight their current powers and add in kinetic barriers from ME technology and holy crap! you have got a devastating machine of death on your hands!

    Canderous Ordo/Mandalore (kotor) – Mandalorian Warlord with the Clans united under his power? need i say more? (i know technically kotor2 was Obsidian, but its still biowares character)

    Sarevok (bg1/2)- Former spawn of the god of death with the power only a lifetime of war and death can bring? also has an annoying habit of not staying dead – which can be handy.

    Jolee Bindo (kotor) wise old bastard with a penchant for being a smart ass, has the power to get you out of a lot of tough assed situations, and always is able to make you chuckle with his sharp wit and logic, not only is he a powerful warrior, he is a strong moral compass and a mentor.

    Alistair (DA:O) – the glue that keeps us all a merry bunch.

  • Michael Jackson: Real or fictional? You be the judge but a reincarnated King of Pop can sing and dance his way out of any situation (good for the downtimes of the journey). Oh and remember to keep him away from the meds.
    Mac Gyver: To get the team out of seemingly impossible/implausible situations he’s the man for the job, and besides mullets are cool!
    Audrey Tautou: (Amelie, Da Vinci Code) For no other reason than I’m in love with her… and she seems nice.
    Conan O’Brien: (Or Coco as he prefers) Every team needs a wise cracking funnyman and who’s better for the job than Coco? Plus I hear he’s looking for a job.
    Michael Atkinson: Well every party/team should suffer at least 1 loss (to provide a stronger emotional connection, Final Fantasy 7 anyone?) and who better to take one for the team than our beloved SA Attorney General? The only requirement is that we kill him off in a decidedly M. to M.A.15+ manner (we don’t want to run into trouble with the classification board).
    Kratos: Let’s be completely honest here, the other team members (see above) can pull up a chair, stool or comfy pillow and let Kratos do his thing (his thing is killing people). They don’t call him the God of War cause he’s good at chess you know.

  • 1. Scooby Doo
    2. Norville “Shaggy” Rogers
    3. Fred “Freddie” Jones
    4. Daphne Blake
    5. Velma Dinkley
    6. Scrappy Doo

    Scooby and Shaggy would be your rogue-like classes, their real strength lies in being not being a real threat untill its too late, and they’ve accidently caught old man withers in their trap. Freddie, with his natural leadership abilities and his ‘cool under pressure’ demeanour would be the leader of the group – can also fly the groups ship, ‘The Mystery Machine’. Daphne would be a femme fatale, whose charms lead enemy troops into compromising, dangerous, and deadly situations. Velma would be the brains of the group while scrappy doo would be a front line troop who is, lets face it, sent in to die first everytime.

  • 1. Snake (Metal Gear Series): Because hes stealthy and knows how to hide in a box.
    2. Bayonetta (Bayonetta): Because she has lots of guns and knows how to shoot a lot.
    3. Isaac Clarke (Dead Space): Because he knows how to look cool in space.
    4. Mr. Smith (‘Shoot ‘Em Up’): For his resourceful use of carrots.
    5. Tin-Tin (‘The Crow’): Because he’s all stabby with his knives
    6. The Thing (‘The Thing’): to combine them all in one writhing mass of shooting, stabbing, kung-fu-fighting awesomeness

  • 1. Banana Man- We’ll need an active source of bananas for both eating and as traps. But he also utilises a banana as a firearm, and also many other technology.

    2. Will Ferrell with cowbell- We need more cowbell!!!

    3. Bear Grylls (Man vs. Wild)- Every squad needs an SAS special forces guy, who will leave a light foot print on all situations including food (he will resort to anything he knows is safe to eat).

    4. Barf (Spaceballs)- Excellent in piloting experience, great sidekick for commander shepard to push around, also to complement the commander in all his glory.

    5. Tallahassee (Zombieland, Woody Harrelson)- Joining by force to search the galaxy for twinkies, what he brings to the squad is a load of guns, and an expertise in taking out light infantry.

    6. Rip (Ripping friends [2001], look it up if you don’t know the cartoon, watch a video it’s worth it)- Hand to hand combat is his specialty, he’ll kill things that die on him, and tear them apart with his bare hands if he has to, even his own undies.

    Wherever these guys go, there will be chaos.

  • The All Aussie Six

    Mark “Chopper” Reed – Convicted of crimes including armed robbery, firearm offences, assault and kidnapping. He’d be the comic relief on the team

    Ned Kelly-The bushranger with his own home-made plate metal armour and helmet. Just imagaine what he could come up with futuristic materials!

    Christopher Skase – An Aussie businessman who’s business empire crashed spectacularly and he fled to Majorca in Spain. If there’s a way to aviod prison and being extradited the Skase the man.

    Brenden Abbott- an infamous Australian bank robber known as the “Postcard Bandit”. Those intergalatic races better put their money somewhere else then the local Westpac branch.

    Jeanette Ford – used six aliases,some stolen from Kiwis living overseas for fraud purposes. Why go through a creation character menu when Jeanette has someone’s elses game save for you?

    Ivan Milat- Convicted for seven murders in outback Australia. The universe is a big place and Ivan is just the guy to hide any evidence of a job gone wrong.

  • Martin Sheen – Why have just the voice in the game when you can have the real deal. He’ll go Josiah Bartlett on your ass, in a smooth New England dialect, convincing you that you are wrong without lifting a finger.

    Ellen Page in Whip It – She has skates and can go really fast. Maybe she’ll give us all a pair.

    Spock – I considered HAL for the logic but the beloved Vulcan has that AND a death grip. We can make fun of his ears too.

    Tsutomu Yamaguchi – You’ve probably never heard of him, but he survived BOTH nuclear bombs in both Hiroshima and Nagasaki. In short, he’s the toughest mother on the planet and survived with some radation burns he brushed off and said “what’s next?”. He lived until 93 just a week or so ago, but I suspect he’s hiding because he’s sneaky. How else do you escape nuclear contamination in the 1940s? An asset to any team.

    The Captain of the Ark in 2012 – Because Mt Everest was falling on their boat and he’s all “yeah, we probably won’t survive if this happens” and everyone else is all freaking out. He stayed cool, and that’s what you need when you’re hunting down galactic baddies.

    James Cameron – Yeah, yeah, yeah, he makes good movies, but I don’t really care. Titanic took $1.8 billion and is the highest grossing movie in the world, Avatar is #2 at $1.6 billion and growing. You need this kid around to get you credits. How else are you going to travel across the galaxy?

  • 1. Bill S. Preston
    2. Theodore Logan
    3. Spock
    4. The Rock
    5. Doc Ock
    6. and Hulk Hogan

    Because they all came out of nowhere lightning fast and they kicked Chuck Norris and his Cowboy ass…

  • 1. Aang (Avatar) – He has control over all of the elements and is a problem solver.He wins most of his battles based on wit, that and his awesome.

    2. Mewtwo – Speaks for itself doesn’t it? The most powerful pokemon created. I’ll have me some of that. (pokemon fanatics: I’m only referring to Kanto)

    3. Megaman – How many times has he saved the world already? Clearly a must have in your arsenal.

    4. Q (Star Trek) – They can destroy matter/energy, manipulate time, can’t be harmed,
    can create, merge, transverse and manipulate universes. On step off god.

    5. Goku – I’ve lost track of his power now but for reference see here

    6. Edward Cullen – You always loose one member of your team. Edwards is this member. I hate you Twilight.

  • 1. Death (Terry Pratchett’s or Neil Gaiman’s, either will do). Better on my side than not on my side.

    2. T-1000. Infiltration? Blasting the hell out of things? Surviving anything short of a pool of molten metal? Check.

    3. Superman. The other frontline well-nigh-indestructible ass kicker with great support powers (X-Ray vision, super strength, flying) and infiltration ability (no-one recognises him when he changes into Clark Kent, he’s that good!).

    4. Steve Jobs: Gadget inventor and cult leader. Free gadgets all round, all the cult minions we could ever need to do our dirty work, and all the money we could need to buy mojitos while they do it.

    5. Number Six: Ass-kicking android, and more importantly someone for me to talk to while the rest of the team gets the work done. I mean, do I really want to talk to Steve Jobs all day? I think not.

    6. MacGyver. If everyone runs out of bullets, weapons are broken, gadgets are fried, the kryptonite and pools of molten metal have come out, all the food is eaten and we’re down to boots and rats, there’s no-one better to turn those humble ingredients into a boots-and-rats cannon and win the day.

  • 1:Nick fury (the black one)- not only will he serve as the token black guy on the team, but he will also help keep such a large line up of characters in line.

    2:KRATOS- he is the god of war after all.

    3:my mother-she has the best backhand of them all she will also cast fear into my enemies heart.

    4:Ogami Ittō- best samurai of all time. he may be out dated, fine dead… but put this guy in some Armour and he would do havoc as a melee specialist.

    5:Dementor- who wouldn’t want an almost invincible character on his team that could suck the soul out of any enemy.

    6:God-some may say its cheating having the most powerful person on there team but with all that power it means i dont have to do any thing. the only danger is mother will get into fights with God about leaving me out of the group

  • 1 – Guybrush Threepwood (Monkey Island)
    A mighty resourceful pirate with a sharp wit, a bright mind, and near unlimited pocket size. He will be a valuable asset when it comes to conversations, puzzle solving, swashbuckling, or simply as a packhorse.

    2 – John Matrix ( Arnie’s character in Commando )
    The ultimate commando. Matrix gets the job done, slinging some wonderful one-liners as he does so. And if the big bad turns out to be an overweight Australian in chainmail, you’ll be glad you brought him along.

    3 – The Doctor ( Doctor Who )
    Normandy Shnormandy. Who needs the most advanced stealth ship in the universe when you can just pop in the TARDIS and scoot around time and space. The doctor of course is a genius and would be an invaluable ally against all odds and provides lucky deus ex machina solutions to almost all major problems.

    4 – Raz ( Psychonauts )
    Having a psychonaut on the team would be incredibly useful. After taking on telekinetic bears and invading peoples psyches, aliens and geth would be easy as pie. I also think that Guybrush and Raz could have some pretty interesting conversations to while away the hours spent travelling through space.

    5 – House MD ( ..from house )
    Okay, so we already have one doctor, but we need a Medical doctor as well. Who else will insult us until we feel better?

    6 – Edmund Blackadder ( Blackadder )
    Finally, we need a combination of all the incarnations of Edmund Blackadder (not so much the first one). A lord, a butler, and a soldier. Someone ruthlessly determined, who can have a riviting and witty conversation, fight with the best of them, and most importantly, make all the tea.

  • 1. David Wildgoose
    2. David Wildgoose
    3. David Wildgoose
    4. David Wildgoose
    5. David Wildgoose
    6. David Wildgoose
    7. David Wildgoose
    8. David Wildgoose
    9. David Wildgoose
    10. David Wildgoose

  • The Double-Agent (Stephen Conroy): Being a worthless fundie he’d be useless on my team, but as an undercover double agent he’d be the perfect saboteur against the Geth. A bit of policy-bulldozing here, a little bandwidth-choking filter here, and a dash zero-transparency blacklist, and the Geth and their allies would have a hard time communicating their nefarious plans to one-another.

    The Bruiser (Bas Rutten): I mean take a look at the guy!

    If there’s anyone you want on your team, it’s a meataxe who can deliver a headbutt out of nothing. OUT OF NOTHING.

    The Support/Infiltrator (Steve-O): That guy will outlive cockroaches. He’s probably had every disease known to man at some point, so his body would be host to a powerful library of antibodies and healing abilities. I’m pretty sure his voice has the resonant frequency of at least some Geth components, so all he’d have to do is speak to disable them, plus he has the body of a crackhead, so he’d be good at infiltrating enemy installations.

    The Hacker (University of Tasmania Webmaster): If ever you wanted to hide your secret citadel files or whatever, get whover designed the UTAS website and student portal on the job. Encryption? You don’t need encryption when anything of value is squirelled away so deep down inside a confusing labyrinth of dead links, bizzare and unintuitive navigation, and pages that you literally have to either log out of and log back in, or close and open the window again to get back to the homepage. I’m pretty sure he could screw up any enemy systems he got his hands on too, since he does a bang-up job of doing it to the Uni.

    The Sniper (Simo Häyhä, AKA The White Death): The Red Army gave him his nickname for a reason: this guy killed over 705 Soviets (estimates put his kills as high as over 800) using a standard iron-sighted, bolt action rifle in the Winter War. He has the highest recorded number of confirmed kills in any major war. He used no sniper scope. The Soviets used counter snipers to get rid of him – didn’t work. Then they tried artillery strikes – didn’t work either. When he finally WAS shot, the bullet blew off nearly half his head. He survived and became a god damn moose hunter, living to the age of 92. I want this guy on my team. YOU want this guy on your team.

    The Berserker (Insanity Wolf): Crucify me for invoking a meme, but come on… caps lock means business, guy.

  • Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell) – Leader of the group. She’s mysterious, enigmatic and insightful. As a cyborg, I’m sure she has no qualms operating in space. Her past experience in black ops will be invaluable.
    Lesbianism is a bonus. (Aeria Gloris!)

    Neil Patrick Harris. – NPH makes anything better. He could be a doctor (Dougie Houser), and can be more than adequate comedy relief (NPH from Harold n Kumar series, Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother)
    NPH can also help come up with crazy plans to win.
    SUIT UP!

    Corban Dallas – Fifth Element (movie) – Is a survivor, and is resourceful. Also, his multi-pass is sure to get us through any doors.

    Jarod (The Pretender) – Missing something vital in your party? Problem solved! Also brilliant and anaylsing situations. Lets just hope he doesn’t “run away”.
    Able to adapt to any social situation, Jarrod is our ideal ‘intel’ man. He’s able to blend in with surrounding people and recon the area.

    Bayonetta – Kicks arse with her leg-baretta’s. Also a go-getta.
    There is no betta.
    Armed to the teeth like Henrietta
    (Gun slinger girls). Her personal Vandetta
    may also be a decent side story.

    Kamina Jeeha (Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann) – ANIKI! He will help us do the impossible, break the unbreakable. (Not to mention his raw ROWING potential should we encounter some body of water).
    A skilled mecha pilot is required for any squad, and Kamina is apt for the job.
    His charisma allows him to encourage team mates and enables them to do the imposible. As such Kamina could act as an ’empath’ of sorts, boosting the squad.
    Has a way with the ladies, should the need arise.

  • Alrighty, the most kick arse team in the universe:

    1 – All around combat skills – Solid Snake – Need I say more?
    2 – The Entertainment – Earthworm Jim – Space can be a very boring place after all 🙂
    3 – The “I want everything dead as quickly and efficiently as possible” – A Predalien – The outcome when an alien facehugger makes love to a predator’s head
    4 – The commando – 3 chevron Colonel Burton (For those of you who never picked up c&c generals or zero hour, he is a commando with a very painful gun and way too many explosives) – You never know when you’ll need something blown up!
    5 – The eye-candy – Lara Croft – Something to look at that wont be useless in combat
    6 – The ninja – Master Ryu (Ninga Gaiden) – Roll, flip, slice and dice, rinse and repeat

  • 1. Mario, Super. Super Mario brings with him the honed skill of crushing turtle necks with a single kick (turtles being notoriously hard to kill), the ability to hold his breath underwater least 3 whole levels and crushing bricks with his head. His bloodthirsty “yahooo0o01!s” can be heard throughout the battlefield, and he even comes with his own 8-bit theme tune. In death, he only returns angrier and down one quarter.

    2. Jason Statham playing Frank Martin, The Transporter. His driving skills are beyond God-like and therefore, quite necessary. He also has a knack for avoiding large arrays of bullets (which I’ve heard are quite fast) and somehow surviving. His omnipotent abilities are somewhat discerning, rolling his car at just the right angle to scrape off a 30x20cm bomb off the underside if his car, but useful nonetheless.

    3. Jackie Chan. Mr. Chan brings with him not only a sharp, honed wit, but the ability to slay millions of enemies with…say, a jacket and a stool. The full force of an asian stereotype on his side, he becomes charmingly beffudled in a series of outnumbered fights where a small wooden crate to the head is as deadly as any large bullets. Also doubles as comic relief.

    4. Gray Fox. One main purpose, destroying radomes on the sides of Metal Gear Rex..s. I concede that invisibility might be useful at some points, but we’ll try and stick to the radomes, don’t want to get him too over-excited.

    5. Kurt Cobain. The greatest grunge frontman to have lived, none of the melodious wank of Queen, with all of the style of Eddie Veder. Master of shotguns, (he’s 1 from 1, that’s 100%, right?), and just plain sexy.

    6. We’re talking about an intergalactic suicide mission, I’m not going to pretend Master Chief is my hero, because he will lose both is cool and his arms on the flight out alone. My last choice is naturally someone who’s going to be calm, controlled and above all, useful, the Kerotan Frog. Not only is he a master of decoy, smooth with the ladies and above all, an excellent conversationalist, he is also right pain to hit. You try and hit that Kerotan with an RPG in the motorbike chase at the end of Snake Eater. Go on, then.

  • Party of 6

    1. Agatha Heterodyne: With the ability to discern the workings of any machine instantly and create clanks (robots) and death rays out of the most mundane items as well as the ability to warp the laws of physics to make said item, Agatha would be invaluable as the team Engineer.

    2. Guybrush Threepwood: With an optimistic demeanor, a great if bumbling analytical mind, natural skill in insults and a habit of talking to himself, Guybrush would be invaluable in providing solutions in non-combat situations.

    3. Marcus Kincaid: As an experienced weapons dealer with a reputation of providing great deals and inconspicuously rubbing off any competition, Marcus would easily fit the role of a procurement officer, easily aquiring all the needed weapons and equipment for a great price.

    4. Karen Sjet: Twice Karen Sjet was the heart of the Higaraan fleet, first leading the Kushan exiles back home, and then defending the Homeworld from the depravations of Vaygr crusaders, making her a most suitable pilot, coordinator and the voice of reason within the team.

    5. Marneus Calgar: The current Chapter Master of the Ultramarines Space Marine Chapter, Marneus has proved numerous time his skill as a warrior and a commander. From repelling the Tyranid invasion on Macragge, to single handedly defending the main gate Siege of Zalathrax, Marneus is a unmovabble bulwark against the horrors of the galaxy.

    6. Jade: An intrepid reporter who revealed the DomZ conspiracy, Jade is a spunky fighter who combines skill, streetsmarts and adaptability into a package that would be most invaluable as a warrior, a spy or a diplomat.

  • Mr T – Brings pain and Snickers(mmmm snickers and Pain wait what….)

    Jessica Alba – Cause Damn she is HOT!!! (solves the sausage fest problem)

    Kratos – He is the God of War Damnit (seriously who would take on this guy)

    Toby Maguire – Why you say I dont know why…he looks smart (What he is actually stupid no way so why wear the glasses?)

    50cent – cause he is in the club (yes im running out of ideas)

    Bayonetta – has her hair as a weapon now thats just insane how do you fight that what happens if she doessnt shave (ewwww)

  • 1. The Doctor (Doctor Who) (Preferably David Tenant’s Doctor) – even without his TARDIS, he seems to be able to find a way out of any situation, normally without even needing to incur any casualties. Capable of getting information from anyone, the Doctor also has an unmatched knowledge of the universe and basically everything in it. Adding a load of paragon and conscience to the party, The Doctor still manages to be that guy no one wants to be on the bad side of. Quirky and funny.

    2. Mal Reynolds (Firefly) – can casually out-shoot any opponent (just look at the fed in the first episode!). Adds a nice flair of humour and can be a real arse to anyone who gets in his way.

    3. Echo (Dollhouse) – with the right imprint, Echo could be the most useful member of the team, capable of having any skill, talent or even accent! Master of espionage and everything else, Echo also serves as the necessary token hot-chick and possible love interest?

    4. Dr Gregory House (House M.D) – His analytical mind would be unmatched on any other team and would serve well to solve any problems that the team come across (like the Tower’s of Hanoi from ME1). Most importantly, House has the epic heals.

    5. Magneto (Xmen) – There is no chance that the Geth or any other kind of synthetic robot army can stand up the this man. With Magneto on the team, any approaching droid would simply be torn to pieces and tied into a knot!

    6. Jeremy Clarkson (Top Gear) – While the Stig may be some people’s first choice for team driver, you have to remember that Clarkson can do a couple of things the Stig just doesn’t seem to be capable of, the least of which is talk. As well as this, Clarkson seems able to easily outwit and insult anyone he comes across as well as bring great publicity and possibly some controversy. Most importantly of all…POWERRRR!

  • 1: George W. Bush
    Group cohesion is often increased by bullying one member of the group. Combat is much easier when there’s someone to draw enemy fire. Ex-President Bush is the perfect target for both inter and outer group hatred and also possesses an army of black-suited agents to ensure his own survival. While he’s up front drawing fire, the rest of the group can take care of business unmolested.

    2: Terminator (T-800)
    Sure it’s an obsolete model, but it’s easily capable of both protection and destruction. The T-800 comes complete with a monotone voice, retro charm, metal-alloy combat chassis and emotionless one-liners to throw out while it demolishes its way through whatever dangerous horde needs killing.

    3: Optimus Prime
    Sometimes you need a truck and sometimes you need a giant robot with a gun. Optimus Prime gives you both, along with solid leadership skills and the ability to sell large amounts of licensed toys should you require additional funds.

    4: River Tam
    Lists martial arts, dancing, ship’s pilot and killing people with her brain among her varied skills. Sure she’s a little crazy, but who else but the insane, foolhardy or courageous will volunteer for this mission.

    5: Galactus
    While godlike powers may trivialise many tasks, when it comes to ultimate missions people care only about success, not difficulty. Should any other group members actually die, Galactus can quickly resurrect them.

    6: Loki
    Dangerous missions often require smooth-talking and manipulative cunning to succeed and who is better at this than the Norse trickster god Loki. Even other gods are not immune to his manipulative scheming. As a bonus he can also father giant serpents and wolves, should this be necessary.

  • 1. Casey Hudson: If anyone is going to be an expert on Mass Effect and know all about everything that you may encounter, it will be this man, Casey Hudson. Most probably a Sentinel.

    2. Dwight Schrute(The Office): As seen by his interludes as a Karate champion, Dwight Schrute is a combat master, especially adept at the soldier class. Furthermore, with his time protecting, and destroying, the earth as Recyclops, he may have some kinship with the Geth. Most probably a Soldier.

    3. John Maynard Keynes: As humanity is going through a crisis involving the collectors, surely the economic prosperity will suffer. Thus an economist will aid humanity, as safeguarded by humanity’s greatest soldier: Shepard, and maintain a degree of parity between HD, Human Dollars, and Credits. Most probably an Engineer.

    4. Anton Chigurh(No Country for Old Men – antagonist): While Mass Effect 2 may have Thane Krios, this team has it’s own assassin. Rather than having to hack each and every lock box and door, Anton’s compressed air gun will make short work of them. Most probably an infiltrator.

    5. Sylar(Heroes): Sylars many, many powers will be very helpful in the upcoming battle. With powers such as telekinesis, freezing, flight, healing, electric finger shooting and shape shifting, he is a major tool. The collectors should be very wise to be scared of Sylar. Most probably a Vanguard.

    6. Uri Geller: The man epitomises the adept spirit. Kind of kooky, and very powerful, SERIOUSLY. He is only rivaled in power by the almighty Jonas Brothers, whose powers of tween persuasion are the stuff of legends in the biotic community.

  • My Ultimate Shepard Dream Team:

    1. Enchantress ~ Being superhuman she possesses super strength, speed and stamina, useful in dire conflicts. Using her mind abilities and beauty to make our enemies and foes reveal important information without any messy violence. At a useful last line of defense as she can use powers even if supreme physical conditions such as being held hostage.

    2. Doctor Who ~ A handy source for all information on Aliens and Planets in the Galaxy, he would be a reliable ally in any crisis, Using persuasion and wit to get out of any situation. A kind-hearted alien that helps everyone but sees logic as well.

    3. Claire Bennet ~ With rapid cell regeneration AKA the ability to heal from any injury, death defying or not. Her blood is a powerful source, being able to heal other if put in there own system. Not bad to look at either.

    4. Zack Fair ~ A altered human, giving him superior advances over his enemies. Skilled with both Melee, Ranged weapons and hand-to-hand combat he can take out foes quickly and effectively. Determined to win but a good friend that will risk everything to help you.

    5. B.A Barabus/ Mr. T ~ The heavy hitter of the team. An excellent fighter and is superior in hand-to-hand combat. He has a blunt fighting style including his trademark tactic that is effortlessly grabbing his opponents, lifting them over his head, and hurling them in the air. He comes with a tank, bling and Mohawk, what else do you need?

    6. Dora the Explorer ~ A good willed companion with a monkey. Always helping those around her. Being able to charm even our enemies with her musical talents and helpful nature we will gain allies everywhere. Did I mention she has a monkey?

  • 1. Michael Atkinson
    2. Jack Thompson
    3. John Howard
    4. Kevin Rudd
    5. David Koch
    6. Stephen Conroy

    this is the kind of team i would like to take on a dangerous mission….. the more dangerous the better! matter of fact could we make it suicidal?

  • Morgan Freeman – every since he was a little boy, people have loved the sound of his voice. No other man on earth could generate the raw power that his words can generate.

    Doc Brown – Roads? who needs…Roads. Also he will able to generate the required 1.21 Gigawatts to power his flux capacitor should time travel be necessary.

    James May – Navigation? Check, Speed? Check, Intimate Knowledge of the Universe? Check. If he can Drive a Suzuki across Boliva he can pilot the Normandy across known space.

    Andy Samberg – He has a BOAT MOTHER F*****, with his FLIPITY FLOPS. in addittion his impressive resume allows him to Jizz practically anywhere. Special moves include Dick in a Box, and Punching People before they eat. (also enjoys zombie dancing)

    Nicholas Angel – Because setting out and saving humanity cannot be accomplished without Sandford a village in rural Gloucestershire,s top cop. With an incredible amount of weapons experiance, field experiance and detective ability. His skills would be invaulable. also likes Cornetto’s.

    The Joker (Dark Knight) – HAHA HEHE HOHO, anyone want to see a magic trick? particulary devesating against Geth with there inferior single optical unit. The Joker also brings to the table a good balence of phycotic behaviour and good humour. doesn’t look bad in purple/green either.

  • 1. Captain Planet, he can deal with looting, polluting and, don’t forget, he’s a hero.

    2. Robert Muldoon from Jurassic Park – he’ll let you know when your being hunted

    3. Marvin the Paranoid Android, for all your comedic needs (plus he has a brain the size of a planet)

    4. A weighted companion cube

    5. Karl Marx’s beard – that thing is tank.

    6. Ellen Ripley, she kills aliens, saves little girls and is just generally heroic etc.

  • 1) Gordon Freeman (Halflife)- With all the key knowledge to push dangerous materials into suspicious beams, a handy crowbar, and a wicked gravity gun, Freeman is the necessity that every team needs.

    2) Shane Schofield aka ScareCrow (Matthew Reilly books)- Armed with his trusty maghook and his amazing leadership skills he would guide our team and execute tactical maneuvers with the best possible expertise.

    3) Mitch Rapp (Vince Flynn Books) – The CIA’s top counter-terrorism operative, a master in gun skills and not afraid to take risks or push right to the limits of the boundaries and more. His hand-to-hand combat skills are unrivaled and any guard who lets his watch drop for an instant will find himself lacking a head, or a vertebrae.

    4) Rick Astley (RickRoll’d) – now your enemies will not know what hit them. And he’s never going to give you up, never going to let you down, never going to run around and desert you.

    5) The Doctor (Dr. Who) – Time travel? Sonic screwdrivers? Knowledge of machines and extra terrestrial life? If the mission is in, or out, of the solar system you can count on his judgment to never lead you astray.

    6) Saxton Hale (Tf2)- Not only can he grate human hands with his chest hair, he has the ability to render enemies powerless with one twitch of his mustache.
    He is also right behind you.

  • Here’s the best five I could think of and my rationale for them.

    Ernest Hemingway:
    It’s a well knows fact that all writers inject some aspects of themselves into their work. Thus, just by reading some of Hemingway’s classics like ‘The Sun Also Rises’ we can divine that Hemingway the man was one hard-drinking, hard-living S.O.B. Furthermore, the ensuing novel arising from our debauched explorations through all the known galactic drinking holes would be a New York Times bestseller and I’d naturally leverage my involvement in the tale by going on Oprah.

    Sir Francis Drake:
    A classical explorer in every sense of the word, Sir Francis Drake was the first Englishman to circumnavigate the globe and was referred to by his Spanish rivals as “El Draque”, his piracy against them becoming the stuff of legends. These experiences have equipped the several hundred years now deceased Drake with valuable knowledge and know-how when it comes to exploration, making him a shoe-in for any Human galaxy exploring/saving team (because we all know that, as in ME1, while busy saving the galaxy, Shepherd will also be busy surveying planets, finding minerals, &tc in order to further humanity’s expansionist agenda into the Attican Traverse and other regions of not yet colonised space).

    Francis Francis (from L4D1):
    Every good team leader recognises the need for comic relief at some stage of a journey, and few come better prepared than Francis Francis of Left 4 Dead (the original). With pithy one-liners such as “I hate Geth” and “Element Zero’s okay I guess…” Francis will be the cynical, scruffy yet lovable backbone of this well-rounded team.

    Tony Martin (comedian, not the cyclist):
    A good leader also recognises that sometimes comic relief isn’t enough. Sometimes you need someone so well versed in 80’s B-movie trivia and the Australian stand-up comedy circuit to keep your spirits high on deep space sojourns. For this I nominate comedian Tony Martin who became famous in the 90’s for his amazing television work with “The D Generation” and his radio show, with fellow comedian Mick Molloy, “The Martin/Molloy Show”. More recently, Martin gained a loyal, and some might say fanatical to the point of obsessive, cult following for his radio show ‘Get This’ that went to air from 11-1 weekdays on TripleM in 2006-07. When Get This was cruelly axed in its prime, Martin and cohorts Ed Kavalee and the now late Richard Marsland were fondly farewelled by many with a “here ends the sizzle” and a raised Farmers Union Iced Coffee. The fanatical loyalty inspired in listeners by Martin/Kavalee/Marsland will be a further boon to the human expansionist efforts into deep space.

    Tony Jaa (aka Tatchakorn Yeerum aka Ong-Bak, Muay Thai Warrior):
    Every crew needs a dedicated fighter (and lover, that position filled by Hemingway in this team) and in this one I choose Tony Jaa the martial arts King of South East Asia. With amazing slide kicks, rolls, sucker punches and roundhouse kicks to the face, Jaa would keep the team not only well defended but also well entertained by his impressive martial prowess. Jaa would also bring some much needed cultural and racial diversity to this otherwise all male, all white, team and his central role in combat would allay fears that his selection was tokenistic or the result of affirmative action.

  • 1st is obi wan kenobi. because he is a jedi who will always fight for the good and even sacrifice his life to stop the evil.

    2nd is luke skywalker. he will be one of my logical choices because he even fought against vader even when he knew vader was his father.

    3rd is ashley williams. This is because she would even be ready to die in order to reedem her grandfather’s honour.

    4th is cyclops. he has optic blasts and is the leader of X-men. by recruiting him we may have the chance of recruiting his X-men squad .

    5th is The mysterious stranger in Fallout 3. by recruiting him we can give the opposition a surprise attack as he will appear in middle of a fight to turn the tables.

    6th is Juno Eclipse the pilot in Star wars force unleashed. she is one of the best pilots as we all know. she also has more experience than joker himself.

  • Here’s an animal themed six:

    1. Pangolin – . Who doesn’t like a squad mate who brings their own armour? Its mixture of tough plate scales and skunk like spraying abilities would make it perfect for drawing fire and repelling enemies in up close and personal situations.

    2. The Common Pigeon – . These guys are pretty much germ warfare with feathers. Their homing skills combined with their unwitting ability to spread a number of diseases to other species could be invaluable in weakening enemy forces, or simply communicating off the grid.

    3. Komodo dragon – . The mixture of venom and bacteria delivered in a bite from one of these could have a long term effect on the HP of any enemy. Their amazing sense of hearing would also prove invaluable in detecting enemy forces from afar.

    4. Great White Shark – . On the face of it this is not the most logical choice, but if you explore the universe for long enough, you’re bound to find a water planet. When that happens, you’re going to want one of earths most well developed and well attuned predators moving lazily through the dark water beside your submarine.

    5. Bald Eagle – . With a wingspan of over two meters, a dive speed of up to 160 km/h and the ability to pull animals as large as goats off cliffs this bird would make a formidable scout and attacker.

    6. Mirocaris Shrimp – . When faced with planets where the temperatures are well above the tolerant of most earth creatures and a Mako that needs a serious repair, you need this shrimp. They usually spend their time frolicking in hydrothermal vents ( at the bottom of the ocean which blast out water as hot as 400°C. Why endure the heat when this shrimp would be happy to?

  • Tinky Winky – Every group needs the muscle character, and Tinky Winky not only brings the brawn, but also a magic red hand bag from which all manner of useful gadgets may be brought forth. The team leader.

    Dipsy – The token racially diverse character in the mix, Dipsy is the voice of caution, ensuring the team doesn’t get in over their antenna. The team’s weapons expert.

    Laa-Laa – The nurturing caring mother figure. Laa-Laa can hurl giant orange balls at her foes to disorient them. When pressed, Laa-Laa enters into a tubby rage, from which no enemy may survive. Teletubbiecommunications officer.

    Po – The youngest member of the group, and the one to most often bring trouble when no trouble was asked for. Always ready to rush into action on her scooter to save the day. Po is also quite a good cook. Team reconnaissance officer.

    Noo-Noo – The team’s efficient robotic companion. Versatile, logical and equipped with a tractor beam like device, Noo-Noo ensures no team member is left behind. Operational Matrix Generator.

    George Bush – The comic relief. Dim witted. Slow. Speaks in some strange gibberish language that few understand. Frequently killed in humourous ways, yet somehow magically re-appears ready for the next mission, despite always being left behind. Idiot.

  • 1. Michael Atkinson – instantly removes all violence and transform any reaper into a little pony
    2. Guybrush Threepwood – “Look, a three headed monkey!”
    3. Captain Caveman – Very good for item storage
    4. Towelie from South Park – because you shouldn’t forget to take your towel!
    5. Ninja cat from Tenchu 4 – Nobody stops a ninja cat
    6. Inspector Rex – Somebody needs to keep control of the ninja cat from time to time though.

  • 1.Sherlock Holmes – With his magnificent wit and intelligence, Holmes would be perfect at assessing whatever situation that you might find yourself in. Whether trying to figure out whether a condescending Turian is giving you the ring around or when it would be wise to start to shooting; this analytical giant would be the perfect strategist. The only problem is that Shepard would probably end up putting a cap in his ass because of his insufferable know-it-all put downs.

    2. Voltron – Who needs to fear the Reapers when you got the biggest, baddest robot in the Galaxy on your side. Plus he comes with epic eighties synthesiser music to hail your victory as he kicks some serious geth butt.

    3. Dracula – Granted his capability is limited to night time, but his powers of seduction and intimidation would come amazingly handy especially when you want to extract some information from a belligerent Krogan sipping some intergalactic brew in a dingy corner or to charm the pants (or full body length tight skirt, you get the picture) off of an Asari Matriarch.

    4. Captain Ahab – ill tempered, gnarly old man who is nearly as indestructible as that White Whale he is always on about. Ahab would be brilliant at keeping morale high when the proverbial crap hit the fan. Just don’t give him a harpoon when he spies a Rachni Queen or you will spend years trying to get him back on board.

    5.Ellen Ripley – Ok, enough with this Space diva crap! You don’t need some pretty little thing walking around with you, you need the best, the meanest mother- what oh yeah, Ellen Ripley is all those things, plus she knows how to deal with aliens nastier than the Collectors.

    6.Dr Who – Yeah, I know it is kind of cheating having a Time Lord with you, but if you ever needed to start all over it’d be as easy as stepping into a blue police emergency call box. And maybe he would be able to keep Sherlock distracted enough for him to keep his mouth shut.

  • 1. Al Swearengen – The meanest c**ksucker in Deadwood, and possibly the West. Al would bring to my party his skills for personal survival, plenty of cans of peaches and the boxed head of an Indian that he would talk to at night to send us to sleep. He would also be able to confound the enemy with rambling strings of awesome dialogue.

    2. Aaron Norris – The youngest of the Norris brothers, Aaron eschewed his brother’s obsession with martial arts and instead pursued a career as a producer and director. Aaron would bring to the team his analytical mind, acting as something of a strategic general for the team. It would also be a stipulation that he bring a picture of his older brother in his wallet, to inspire us all.

    3. A good pair of headphones – Being responsible for the galaxy is all well and good, but if you can’t do it to a cock-rock metal soundtrack then it’s just not worth it. Loading up my iPod with the best that the 80s had to offer is only awesome if I’ve got a decent pair of cans to endanger my hearing with.

    4. A Mr. Whippy Van – this is my secret weapon. When the hordes outnumber us and it looks like all is lost, this graceful beast will glide from its concealment behind a space rock, blasting Greensleeves from its loud speaker. The effect would be instant and would ripple through the enemy forces. As they flag down the van and line up for ice cream, that will be our cue to attack and claim victory.

    5. Big Daddy – Purely for grunt. Granted he might get a bit rusty as he is exposed to a variety of planetary environments, but I reckon a quick bucket of salt water over him every now and then should placate him, a bit like what they do to beached whales.

    6. Isaac Asimov – Ol’ Isaac would act as my science fiction version of Joseph Banks – observing and cataloguing alien species throughout our adventure. He’d be fairly happy to get resurrected too, and might even get some time to write a few more stories so that Hollywood could have some new material. Do Shepards Dream of Electric Asari?

  • 1. Jason Statham…in every one of his movies that i’ve watched, that chrome dome just wont die…a valuable asset to my team.

    2.Korin (DBZ)…that cool cat can grow magic beans that restore your health at an instant…takes care of healing.

    3. Axel Steel (Guitar Hero)…need a cool theme song for this game, so having a guy hit 5 plastic buttons makes us that little bit more awesome.

    4. A can of Deodorant…just for that constantly fresh feel…

    5. Optimus Prime…we need some form of heroics in this party, and a transforming piece of metal that saves the universe might just come in handy.

    And finally…

    6. My Mum…somebody has to make us some sandwiches…

  • Me
    Cause i’m plain awesome

    Jack Bauer (24)
    because he just wont die, i mean how many times can he be shot/gassed/punched

    Flying Spaghetti monster
    hes more powerful than god you know, or he is?

    Kevin Rudd
    to confuse my enemies with words

    Monkey (Money Magic)
    because hes awesome and has super powers and a kick ass awsome flying cloud he can ride!

    Arnold J Rimmer
    well it wouldn’t be funny without him

  • 1,2&3. John DiMaggio. Three in one! You get Marcus Fenix, Bender and KK from Madworld all in one convenient package. Fenix would be the tough nut of the lot, Bender would procure resources (read: nick people’s wallets) and KK would offer a sound commentary of the whole thing.

    Um, I can’t think of anyone else, so just make it two.

  • 1. Leader – Dr Manhattan – He has the ability to control matter and transform it, teleportation and creating multiple copies of himself. As well as being able to see his own timeline but it is undecided weather that would be an advantage because he does not change it, as he states he just goes through the motions therefore if one of use was going to get shot he wouldn’t stop it.
    2. Close Combat -Bruce Lee – In close combat he can not be beaten.
    3. Weapons expert – Master Cheif – He will always come out of a unwinable battle untouched.
    4. Scout – Sonic – He is quick enough to run into the enemies base and grab any intel we need to kill them or run in and kill them all before them know what is happening.
    5. Beauty – Summer Glau – Being a terminator and River Tam she can not beaten.
    6. Brains – Ironman – Besides being a very strong superhero he is also extreamly smart. He created the mini-reactor which keeps him alive and powers his suit. With him on the team he can create weapons or suits for the other team members which are specifically designed for their purpose on the team as well as being able to comunicate between each other and he can repeair any damage that happens to the suits and the weapons. Plus he isn’t too bad in a battle either.

  • Mum:
    Shepard never ate anything! Man, I’d be hungry as…
    He never showered, none of his things ever got washed or cleaned, and did you see that spaceship?
    Last thing I wanna do when I get back from a mission is screw around cooking and cleaning…
    A space commander needs a Mum..

    Shadow is my dog, she is a rad bitch…
    Who doesn’t like having a dog… they can do anything… Shadows best trick – Red alert attack dog insta-takedown. RAWR!
    – she has been shaved for streamline speed.

    Caiti (The GF):
    Not only is she a welcome distraction, but everyone loves her.
    “hay Caiti, can you talk to this guy… My only options say I can ether punch him or shoot him”.
    Caiti comes back with 1 beskillion of everything!

    (those where 3 obvious choices, now for the not so obvious ones)

    I plan on telling him that we are rescuing this Zalda bitch and there aren’t any water temples.
    He never fails…
    PLUS! who knows how many secrets we can find, randomly throwing bombs at walls…

    Kazuhiko Akiyama, the crab diver:
    First Ninja Warrior. Do I even need to explain how he would be useful?

    Last but not least

    The scrumpadoochouse guy, before the coma:
    How fun would he be to have around all the time!?


    Shadow: “Rhepard, ree are rerecting an runrown rignal up aread” (scoobie voice, sound like yoda but) 🙁

    Me(Shepard): Everybody proceed with caution, guns ready, fire at my command.

    Mum: Don’t be too long Rhybe(Mums name for me (-_-‘) I have your favorite meal cooking..

    Me: Thaaaaanks Muuuu-

    Scrumpadoochouse Guy: WWOOAAAHH! *does a barrel roll* BACON EGG SAMMIGE!!!!

    Caiti: Shepard, maybe we should just go home for your mums meal? I’m sure these people don’t mean any trouble and we don’t NEED to kill them….

    Me: Ahh, I suppose… We will ask Link what he thinks.
    Link, you’ve seen situations like this, what should we do.

    Link: …..

    Me: Oh SHIT, that’s right, he doesn’t say anything…. Ever….

    Scrumpadoochouse Guy: SCRUMPADOO-



    Maybe I should re-think this…

  • 1. Michael Atkinson; Any enemy showing or portraying violent behaviour would instantly be banned from the game due to his moral stance upon such things.

    2. Danni Minogue; Having her sing while fighting would ease up 99% of battles due to her terrible singing crippiling the ears of all enemies, making them frantically grab a set of ear plugs instead of their triggers.

    3. Rove McManus; His terrible jokes and horrendous ‘comedy’ routine would provide the ideal distraction while enemies instantly fix their crosshairs on him while you pick off the tougher ones while they are distracted.

    4. Saxton Hale; The all Aussie, beast of a man, would be a perfect choice for the simple fact, he can reflect rockets with his chect hair, plus he owns a weapons manufacturing company, duh.

    5. Gordon Freeman; who else is more experienced at single handedly overthrowing for more advanced alien superpower’s then he, plus all he says is ‘…’, you wouldn’t have to listen to all the silly comments he might make if he were anyone else.

    6. Optimus Prime; 3 story tall alien robot, who the fuck else are you going to have on your team?
    The dude and can step on just about all the enemies, plus if that doesnt work, gigantic glowing sword.

  • Rainbow Bright – this little orphan toddler managed to save the 7 colours of the rainbow and bring colour to the world. All cuteness outside, all business inside, and a blinding colour palette as weaponry – this little girl is serious.

    Rincewind – With this much bad luck on the team how can we not be sucessful?

    Bayonetta – A shapechanging witch with demon hair and gun heels. Crazy and over the top. If enemies arn’t already dead, they arn’t shooting because they scarcthin’ their heads in wonder.

    Guitar Wolf (can a trio count as one?) – This japanese garage punk trio have taken on zombies and alien invasions to come out on top with extremely loud, noisy, reckless abandon. (Plus, we need someone to play victory music at the end of the mission!)

    Barack Obama – Need someone to keep everyone’s morale high! What better person than one of the worlds greatest orators?

    My Mother – One stubborn, mean, b***h. There is a reason I stay away from my home town, and she is it.

  • Angus MacGyver – Not only his Bachelor’s in Physics & Chemistry but also his innate ability to troubleshoot in hard situations makes him a great tech stooge to have in the group. The choice is more than practical aslong as the non-violent MacGyver can be labeled as a tech class – for in combat, he is useless.

    John Preston(equilibrium) – This gunslinger leaves nothing to request of at the end of the day. Being the highest ranked Cleric, he skillfully, beautifully and artistically kills his foes. If you have not seen his feats, you are surely at a loss to underestimate the power he holds.

    Durge(Clone Wars)- A Worm-Like Alien who can regenerate from a puddle of goop while wielding two blasters, clearly a high match for future would-be villains. He has taken on many bounties and has only ever failed once.

    GlaDos – Until we run out of cake.

    Spock – To assist in those hard choices that seem ever hard for me to make that take atleast 15 minutes to decide. His logical Vulcan approach with the emotions of a Human come in handy for interspecies relations, would be my top choice to replace Navigator Pressly as XO if Spock was no longer able to take a combat approach.

    The Green Lantern – Controlling the power of Dr. Manhattan himself without the overbearing fact that he’s indestructible makes the green lantern a fine person to join the team to defend from Lord knows what! The power of his ring afford many powers but most notably: Invisibility, Teleportation and Telepathy and Shield Barrier provide better support than a Biotic contender.

    Bonus Character: Christopher Walken as Ambassador of Humanity.

  • 1. KRATOS (God of War)- enemies closing around you? Odds are stacking up? Kratos and the Blades of Chaos will get you out of any trouble. No holds barred, in your face bloodthirsty melee specialist with a sprinkle of magic to enhance himself or the party.

    2. ADMIRAL ADAMA (BSG re-imagining) – Can lead a fleet of ships with minimal resources with a persistent robotic army on your tail the entire time. Cool under pressure, ruthless when need be. Makes the hard decisions with no compromise.

    3. MAX PAYNE – Weapons specialist. Can take a brunt of punishment but will continue on til the bitter end. No fuss, one track mind, the objective always in sight. Also, Bullet Time FTW!

    4. AERYN SUN (Farscape)- Born soldier and fighter pilot. Follows orders and does not let emotions get in the way. Resilient and never gives up. Sexy.

    5. ED (Cowboy Bebop) – Eccentric master hacker. No system can withstand her skill. Will find any backdoor into a locked secure system within seconds.

    6.RAND AL’THOR (Wheel of Time)- Slightly insane magic user with plenty of skill with a blade. Will not hesitate to gib enemies with magic. No remorse for those that oppose him. Plus, he is the Dragon Reborn and will bring about the end of the world. Probably a good idea to have him on your side.

  • 1. Chuck Norris.

    Slots 5-6 left empty intentionally as they are not needed.

    (Yes I know many people have picked Chuck in their entry, but… they didn’t do it *right*)

  • Johnny-5 (Short-Circuit) – This wacky robot has some serious firepower. He can also interfere with various types of machinery and shout amusing quotes during battle.

    The Killer-Rabbit (Monty Python’s Holy Grail) – A cute little bunny with “pointy sharp teeth”, so while the enemies pause to either go “aww” or just laugh, this little bunny rips their throats open.

    John Crichton (Farscape) – He’s dealt with numerous aliens and somehow managed to survive. He has wormhole technology (for all the ‘good’ it does) and he’s a pretty good scientist with an almost unrivaled level of dedication (with the added bonus of witty comments every so often).

    Chell (from Portal) – Chell managed to survive GLaDOS’s maze and she has a neat portal gun. She’ll also work for cake. If all of this wasn’t reason enough to recruit her, she also doesn’t speak much, or seem to have much of an opinion on anything – making it unlikely that she’d get into arguments with the other party members or leave out of spite.

    Master Splinter (TMNT) – He’s a giant rat full of wisdom, AND he can do karate. Who doesn’t want a giant-karate-rat on their team?!

    Alyx Vance (HL2) – She’s both a scientist and a combatant with ample experience fighting aliens and dealing with their technology. She is also the kind of person that gets along with most people – making her a team player.

  • Kevin Rudd -Seeing as he surprised us all with his ability to speak Mandarin, there’s no knowing how many alien languages he is fluent in.

    Roman Bellic -Can stall any attacking force by calling them at inconvenient times and asking for a game of Bowling.

    Tyra Banks -When the muscle contours in my body armour go out of fashion, there’s only one hope for the galaxy’s survival.

    Rusty Gates -Talented Tech expert/computer salesman/ladies man. As well as bypassing secure doors, Rusty Will also discount shop items with his insane summer sale.

    Tony Abbott -When the galaxy gets into that silly saving planets thing, Tony will put his own ideals in front of the people preventing us from completing our mission. This will make the whole process easier less costly.

    Neil Armstrong -As far as I know, Neil is the only person in the squad who has been to space before. Therefore I expect him to be able to manouver when enemys attack and also kill any alien forces we encounter on foot.

  • Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, Monica, Rachel and Ross.
    So despite the lack of co-op, at least I could still play Mass Effect 2 with friends…

  • 1) Chuck with the Intersect 3.0. New and improved for the year 2185 CE … ok make that Intersect 97.0. Not the most reliable “agent” to have in your team but between his awkward moments trying to figure out his relationship with Sarah erm … I mean Miranda Lawson and not being able to “Flash” at the appropriate moment he would provide some pretty darn good laughs. Also… he basically can do anything… sometimes. So he is all classes in one, sometimes!

    2) Jayne Cobb from Firefly. I know, I know… Adam Baldwin already a voice actor for a character in the game… but we are talking about Jayne! The man has a whole colony of people singing tales of his, ahem, “heroics”! Good man to have on your side in a fire fight… even if he might want to sell out on ya at the last minute.

    3) “The Doctor” from Start Trek Voyager. Nothing like having a medic that you can “materialize” at any moment to tend wounds and stitch up your mates when you’re in a bind. If ever he gets shot, no worries! He is a holographic projection!

    4) Bender from Futurama. Never know when things need bending, who needs deciphering skills to get to those pesky upgrades! I can count on him to betray the team for a saucy femme-bot or just a lot of loot or booze. But hearing him say “Bite my shinny metal ass” now and then would be worth the setback.

    5) Ohh speaking of femme-bots, Dr Evil from Austin Power. Why him and not Austin … cause his a “friken” genius! Obviously he would contribute his sharks with “friken” laser beams attached to their heads! Or was it ill tempered mutated sea bass with laser beams attached to their heads? Moooohaaa ha… moooo haaa haa haaa!

    6) We are Australian after all … and its going to be technically the release date of Mass effect 2 in the US is On Australia day… 26 of Jan. So no True blue Aussie ME2 team would be complete without the Australian Fast bowler! (As seen on skitHOUSE) Theme song going in the background, he would only how up on in those really sticky situations when the entire team is pinned down, saving the day with his super-human bowling skills.

    That’s my 6! **fingers crosses**

  • In my mass effect 2 party id want-

    Tycho(From Penny Arcade)-his sarchasm would prove invaluable during important negotiations.

    Rorsharch- Id want him in my party because he would deal with all the crap that could possibly happen.

    Agent Gibbs(From NCIS)- His negotiaton skills may be lacking but his combat skills would be very valuable.

    Dean Winchester(From Supernatural) – his humor would make the hard situations my party would face easier and his combat skills should not be underestimated either.

    Captain Price- In a suicide mission an immortal soldier would be invaluable.( seriously the dudes been around since the 1940’s?)

    Eddie Riggs- Because no matter how dire the situation Eddie would be able to provide.

  • (1) Ramirez (Modern Warfare 2)
    (2) Ramirez (Modern Warfare 2)
    (3) Ramirez (Modern Warfare 2)
    (4) Ramirez (Modern Warfare 2)
    (5) Ramirez (Modern Warfare 2)
    (6) Ramirez (Modern Warfare 2)


  • 1. Ryu Hayabusa (Ninja Gaiden): When it comes down to blinding speed, deadly accuracy and powerful strikes, you can’t go past the legendary Dragon Ninja of the Hayabusa clan. Ryu is also as intelligent as he is deadly, and will prove a valuable asset in locating and extracting (or just outright disposing) important targets.

    2. M. Bison (Street Fighter): If you need your squad to get motivated, M. Bison will do the job. Not just content to let his minions do all the dirty work, Bison is always ready to get his hands dirty. I can also guarantee that with the world’s most lethal user of Psycho Power breathing down one’s neck, there is little chance of retreating from the battlefield by YOUR army.

    3. Boba Fett (Star Wars): Much like Hayabusa, Fett is an expert at tracking opponents. However, with his advanced array of technogical gadgets like sensor arrays, radar jammers, concussion missiles and even holding cells for deadly Jedi in his intimidating SLAVE-1, things will be a lot faster than a lone Ninja on his own. Fett also has a lethal arsenal of weaponry at his fingertips and is an expert in fistfights.

    4. Captain Falcon (F-Zero): The Port Town-born Douglas Jay Falcon would bring a sense of morality and – of course – speed to the team. On the one hand, his incorruptible mission to rid the galaxy of professional criminals has cost him all but his life. This moral code will be helpful when the other mercenaries may not be so forgiving. However, that’s not to say his focus is entirely on crime-fighting; the mysterious enigma also participates in many F-Zero racing championships in his beloved Blue Falcon, reaching speeds well in excess of supersonic. If we needed someone chased down, Captain Falcon is the man to recruit.

    5. Batman (Batman): When we require a security subsystem to be hacked, some DNA to be analysed or a gadget to move an otherwise immovable object, Bruce Wayne’s unstoppable alter ego is perfect. With a combination of intelligence, technology, agility and brute strength, the world’s greatest detective would come in handy in solving the many mysteries of the Mass Effect universe. However, putting him in with such morally ambiguous characters as M. Bison and Fett may prove foolhardy.

    6. Samus Aran (Metroid): When worst comes to worst, who does the Galactic Federation send in to clean up the mess? Samus Aran; the galaxy’s most renowned bounty hunter. Unlike Boba Fett, the lovely Ms. Aran does not seek bounties simply for the money. Her goal is to rid the universe of the deadly life-forms known as ‘Metroids’; life-leeching parasites who pose a threat to galactic society. She is also committed to bringing down the Space Pirate operation once and for all. Like the main character of Mass Effect, she attempts to fight crime and rid the universe of a sentient threat; with such like-minded goals (and a beautiful, round backside to boot), Ms. Aran would be an invaluable addition to the team – as well as acting as a pacifist to all the men!

  • 1. Skeletor. With mystic powers and scientifc skills combined with the Havoc Staff, Skeletor provides endless evil plot options.

    2. The Scorpion King. Who needs a chick that turns into a giant spider when you can have a half-man half-scorpion on your side!

    3. Kevin Rudd. I guess you just have to have someone to do all those annyoing “persuade” options. If he managed it here he can do it elsewhere.

    4. Mr T. Cause you know… its Mr T and he has a mohawk…

    5. Richard Dean Anderson aka Macgyver aka Colonel O’Neill aka Dr Webber. Medic, all round useful guy in one, plus he already knows space… which is one up on Chuck

    6. Unicron. There is always one stupid planet you just despise… well there is an answer, simply send in Unicron. Like the Death Star but cooler.

  • Crew:

    1. James Bond (Anyone that can take a solid hit to the nuts and laugh it off HAS to be a badass!)

    2. Anne Frank (If she could hide a bunch of Jews from the Nazis then imagine what she could do here! oh wait… she didn’t hide forever… ohhhhh)

    3. Arnie (He could run the government while travelling back in time to save John Connor)


    5. Neytiri (From Avatar – This will keep all the furies in check for an awkward sex scene)

    6. My good friend Alan, the creator of Dead Baby Jokes! (This way everyone shoots at him, rather than me!)
    Some examples of his controversial comedy
    Q: What’s blue and white and rests at the bottom of a pool?
    A: A baby with slashed floaties!

    Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
    A: Depends how hard you throw them!

    Q: What’s white and black and bobs up and down in a baby’s crib?
    A: Michael Jackson’s Zombie Ass!

    Q: What’s the difference between babies and M&M’s?
    A: You can’t load M&M’s into the back of a truck with a pitchfork!

    Now the grand finale
    Q: How do you get 100 babies into a barrel?
    A: With a Blender!
    Q: How do you get them out again?
    A: With Doritos!

    W…. why is no one laughing? Why are you all looking at me so seriously? Commmmooonnnn, its not like I killed them! That was Alan!

    Noel “A little necrophilia never killed anyone” Stewart


  • 1) Barbara Streisand: A.K.A. “The Screaming Banshee”. They know when she is coming. They know she cannot be stopped. No matter how much you beg your family. She is the area of affect damage dealer.

    2) Groucho Marx: Razor wit. Cuts up pretty well. Short but attracts taller women. Heals with duck soup and confuses with horse feathers. Handles monkey business well. He’d be the “face” of the party. Awesome moustache.

    3) Rasputin: Very, very, very ,very hard to kill. Also crazy with charisma, but mainly crazy. Despite being a monk, he is not a healer. Tank/Comedic relief.

    4) Young M.C.: In trouble? Bust It. Problems with the ladies? Bust It. Crafting needed? Bust It. Complex existential quandaries? Just Bust a Move! The problem solver of the group. Made Even more powerful when paired with someone with DJ skills.

    5) 90’s Reebok Pumps: I need to get pumped! I’ll pump my self up! I can pump up others too! I enjoy being pumped and pumping others! Increases speed and resists knock-down. Really.

    6) PC: The esoteric choice. Not the first choice for many other than the older commanders out there. Will do anything its told to (software permitting) and multifaceted interface system (mouse and keyboard). Handles the maths and logic problems. Definitely needs more ‘specific’ data to achieve a spectres goals. Which, with discerning taste, should arrive soon.

  • 1. Duncan – He is an accomplished fighter who should be able to decimate enemies from close range and he has that epic beard.

    2. Quistis Trepe – A tough, sexy, whip-wielding instructor of SeeD candidates with the ability to to use some powerful attacks as her limit break. Since she’s already worked as a mercenary she should adjust to the life quite easily.

    3. ‘Fighting’ Jake Churchill – Commando? Check. Killing Nazis with a long bow? Check. Playing bagpipes while attacking a Nazi bunker? Check. Went into war with a claymore strapped to his waist? Check. Designed his own surfboard? Uhh check. This guy was just a living Epic Badass.

    4. Louis – He survived a zombie apocalypse and got lots of practice with various types of weapons and explosives. With a little training on the new guns and he should be hell of a geth killer.

    5. A Despair squid from “Red Dwarf” – A giant squid that causes its victims to hallucinate is all well and good, but this guy isn’t just content with that. No the hallucination causes the victims to despair so much they commit suicide. Unleash this guy on a planet with water and the inhabitants will do your work for you, saving precious bullets.

    6. Kirk from “The Mighty Boosh” – A child shaman, so he must be powerful, who is described as :
    – “an erotic adventurer of the most deranged kind from the fourth dimension”
    – “vehicular menace, mowing down all in [his] path”
    Enough said.

  • 1. Gordon Freeman (Half Life) – Adaptable. Intelligent. Resourceful. Beardy.
    2. Mei-Ling (Metal Gear Solid) – Communications expert who could reassure us all that our equipment is made from currently existing technology.
    3. House MD (Errr, House MD)- Every well rounded team needs a medic, so why not give the job to a sarcastic drug addict?
    4. Bobby Kottic (sp?) (Actiblizzard/World domination) – Once we find those aliens, we can exploit them… and possibly sign them up for WoW accounts!
    5. Krauser (Detroit Metal City) – every heroic tale requires a bard to sing about it. So why not choose the premier anime death metal singer?
    6. ‘Doom Guy’ (Doom) – just think of the long, thoughtful conversations doom guy and Freeman could engage in. Bonus points for being totally badass.

  • 1. Jane (Firefly) – He’s pretty cunning great for sneaking around and flanking.

    2. Kamina (Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann) – GIIIIIGA DRIIILLLLL BREEEAKEEEEER!!!!!!!

    3. The Stig – Some say that he is sole reason Mass Effect 2 is been made, and that if he was the head of Multiplayer of Modern Warfare 2 he would say dedicated servers are the way to go.

    4. Stigs Handler/Keeper – For unknown reasons, The Stig needs a partner to acompany him on space voyages longer than 12 parsecs.

    5. Tincan Hitman – Ninjas and pirates have nothing on this guy, and he’ll take you out with his death ray

  • Richard Dean Anderson: Taking skills from McGuyver and Jack O’Neill gives him alround viability. His elite army specialisation, experience on multiple worlds, and ability fighting galactic tyrants, mixed wtih the ability to turn anything into something useful.

    Allan Shaw: Being caught amongst a pile of bodies never looks good, and a lawyer with experience getting out of the hardest of cases as well as an ability to articulate anything into a plausible arguement will come in handy, so boston legal’s finest will come in handy

    Inspector Rex: Finding the bad guys requires skills, and this dog knows just how to sniff them out good. Plus making your party happy isnt easy, but animals are always easy to please and highly loyal. Dont bother with long conversations keeping this member in your party.

    Bloodrayne: Someone needs the looks on the team, and bloodrayne is the choice. This vampire can take them out at range or get in close for some nice melee action with her blades, making her useful in all situations as well as providing the looks.

    Chev Chelios (Jason Statham in crank): this man has put his body through a bit of everything, making him the perfect tank. even falling from a plane didnt kill this man, and clearly immune to poisons and electricity. Crank 3 may just yet see him have to set himself alight constantly or not breath until he finds a cure, but either way, his body is going to provide a unique tanking formula that no enemy is getting by easily.

    Vin Diesel: This man no actions. Every group needs an anti-hero helping out, and experience with riddick is going to provide multiple uses in this situation. Plus, someone needs to lead, and vin diesels experience from the pacifier is going to give him the edge in keeping this group on mission.

  • 1) Lara Croft: We know the Mass Effect universe has alien ruins so a tomb raider would be useful, plus she looks better than Indiana Jones.

    2) Sherlock Holmes: We are tasked with solving the mystery of the disappearing humans so one of the greatest sleuths of all time would be a welcome addition.

    3) A Predator: cloaking ability and awesome weapons would make the Predator the perfect muscle for my team, plus in the mass effect universe most people would barely bat an eyelid (or eye membrane) at his appearance.

    4) Jim DiGriz (Stainless Steel Rat): A master thief used to high tech security systems, has experience saving the world. Also a very witty person making the journey more enjoyable.

    5) Polgara the sorceress: Powerful magic and an extrordinary beauty. Very helpful against the biotic abilities of various enemies.

    6) Rincewind: He comes with the Luggage, who can hold nearly infinite items which would be quite useful considering all the guns and armor you tend to find in this sort of game. Main reason though is he is great at knowing when to run from a situation, he is the ultimate survivor.

  • Basing this on countless years watching badass squads go around wrecking -ahem- stuff on film and TV, I’m picking the team most likely to stay alive.

    1. John McClane – If someone needs to make the noble sacrifice at the end, John McClane is the gritty veteran who’d do it without anyone ever quite believing he died, even if the last time you saw him was in the middle of an exploding Death Star (which he blew up). Another big bonus is that unlike his action hero peers, John’s sidekicks don’t tend to die.

    2. Audrey Hepburn – Every team needs a charmer, ‘The Face’, the George Clooney. Audrey’s persona is so charming, inoffensive and nice that Godzilla would sit down to tea with her, Bin Laden would offer his chair and she could kick either in the nuts and neither would have the heart to lay a finger on her.

    3. Emma Peel with a fake Russian accent – The sexy female spy in a catsuit, would be as classy as Audrey if not for the fact that every hero in the squad would sprint (not walk!) into Mordor if they thought it’d get inside her seemingly glued-on pants. She knows karate, plays a good second banana (that’s what she said!), she gets the job done and even if she gets captured, won’t die. She may get brainwashed and be an evil dominatrix sure, but nobody minds that since she’ll always snap out of it in the nick of time and then you’ll just have a sexy chick in a corset on your side. Since Audrey has the class covered, the accent will emphasize the sex appeal and make sure all the Boris Badenov’s out there want their Natasha. Everyone falls for the sexy Russian superspy after all, even James Bond, and not even the legendary Bond could get Soviet Agent XXX killed.

    4. Mr. T – Your squad cannot be the most badass without Mr. T. Sure they pretended he was afraid of flying, but even if true the space flight in Mass Effect is more Star Trek than Star Wars, meaning naval battles not dogfights and I pity the fool who thinks Mr. T is afraid of getting wet. His loss to fellow 80s action icon Sylvester Stallone might be seen as a detriment, but Mr. T fights best in a group and even then his record remains even against Sly. Not to mention that for as badass as Rocky and Rambo are, everyone they know ends up dead – Mr Tough keeps his team of Action alive.

    5. Clyde the Orangutan – Every team needs comedy relief, which is a big problem as comedy relief has a tendency to die, this isn’t an issue with Clyde. He’s humanoid enough to kick ass in a fight (and find armor that fits him in the Mass Effect universe) but can also sit pretty in the knowledge that in these tales, nobody will accept the cute pet sidekick dying. New York can be exploded by aliens, millions (and the stubborn but lovable grandfather type) will die but it’s all okay as long as people see the cute pet sidekick survive, this narrative protection extends to Clyde. Anyway, if anything really goes wrong, Clint Eastwood will show up to take the fall and ensure we succeed every which way but loose, any way you can.

    6. Dr. Ian Malcolm – The needed intellectual of the team might seem an ill fitting choice as he died in the Jurassic Park novel, but he proved so popular that the author couldn’t keep him dead. Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Who (kind of) did the same thing sure, but Sherlock would only get involved after one of us was dead and The Doctor would do his best to not be involved at all. Dr. Malcolm does his best work as part of an ensemble, cheats death and will have an absolutely charming double act with Clyde the orangutan.

  • 1. Bender – Has the Ability to bend damn near anything, He’d also be an awesome guy to get drunk with when the stress gets to be a bit too much. Can belch fire.

    2. The Heavy – Minigun, check. Killing Gloves of Boxing, check. Sandvich, check.
    The heavy is pretty much the all rounder on my team, he can take hits, he can deal many hits and he can eat sandvich. Imagine how inspiring it would be to have a gigantic bald eastern European lunatic on your squad, he’d bring the best inspiration for death.

    3. Paul Stanley (KISS) – Paul Stanley has a kickass voice and can play some pretty catchy riff’s but his true potential lies with his ability to shoot lasers from his star eye. Did I mention his hairy as-all-get-out chest would allow him to survive the harsh colds of deep-space?

    4. Super Mecha Death Christ 2000 – When you need something dead, you bring in Super Mecha Death Christ, Nuff said. (He also has a cool catch phrase, “F*ckers!” catchy eh?)

    5. Chen Kenichi (Iron Chef China) – This guy can make a meal out of any secret ingredient, including death. This man wields his cleaver with a haunting grace, mesmerizing his foes with his sichuan dance of death. If you think his food is tasty, wait until you see him cut his foes down with his superior cuisine.

    6. Scarlett Johansson – I think Scarlett needs little explanation. She can dual wield cannons and she’d be an incredible asset to the intelligence side of the operation, she also has the power to stop men in their tracks just by running.

  • 1. Son Goku – He’s defeated all sorts of crazy alien types before, and with that sort of power, the reapers and anybody else out there will be no match for that raw power (The powerhouse)

    2. Bill Gates – With this man’s net worth at your disposal, you can buy the meanest weaponary and shields that money can buy. No longer will you have to worry about guns jamming, you’ll be able to just buy newer and better ones. Let’s also remember that he knows a bit about technology, so if you’re biotic amp breaks in the middle of a battle, he can tinker around with it and have it working again in no time (The supplier)

    3. Richard Alpert – The never-ageing man from Lost, Richard Alpert always seems to know what’s going on behind the scenes, no matter where he is. This would certainly prove useful in a suicide mission, as he can give that valuable insight into what needs to be done to safely finish the mission alive (The wise one)

    4. Jules Winnfield – Samuel L Jackson’s character from Pulp Fiction is one bad mother… He can intimidate and charm anybody and everybody all at once, just by looking at them. With that on your side, it’ll be a breeze getting anybody to do what you want (The Persuader)

    5. Niko Bellic – This guy came along with nothing, and made something out of it. And he knows how to get what he wants. Whether it’s by helping out a friend, or busting heads, he always gets the job done. That sort of dedication won’t go astray on a dangerous mission like this (The Comedic Badass)

    6. Gordon Freeman – He has a crowbar, a gravity gun, and by the end of Episode 3, maybe a portal gun too. And he can solve puzzles. And because he doesn’t talk, no matter what your Shepard wants to do, you won’t hear any complaints from Mr. Freeman. He’s a team player, and he’s fought for humanity before, so he has an idea of what he’s doing. (The Silent But Deadly)

  • 1. The Doctor – Although he lacks in physical strength and refuses to fire a weapon (at any living thing, especially after the Last Great time War), his knowledge of science, technology and time-travel surpasses space-bound beings. This knowledge (and his sonic screwdriver) comes in handy when faced with a locked door and a lack of Omni-gel. His defensive capability is amazing also, being able to withstand electrical attacks from other powerful beings such as the Master without dying. And hell, if he does die, he is able to regenerate!

    2. Hiro Nakamura – Another Time-travel fanatic, Hiro’s willingness to become a real hero leads him through a journey of self-discovery that makes great plot development for an RPG. Apart from sporting a huge Samurai sword, his powers of time manipulation allow him to freeze time, allowing him and the rest of the team to place handy traps in front of any attacking enemies. When time is unfrozen again, hilarity ensues as traps are sprung and enemies are vanquished.

    3. The Lone Wanderer (Fallout 3) – The Lone Wanderer is an enigma wrapped in a mystery wrapped in delicious bacon. Mmmm. Bacon. As well as being able to carry over 3 times his or her own body weight he or she is proficient in lockpicking, bomb disposal, laser weapons, demolitions, killing aliens etc. it is easy to see that he (or she) is more than just a glorified packrat. A perfect addition to any team in my pre-war books.

    4. Obi-Wan Kenobi – A Jedi Knight, capable of manipulating the force, wielding a lightsaber and generally being able to become more powerful than you could imagine, UPON DYING. Team. Member. No. Question.

    5. John McClane – When you think of the phrase “he never bloody dies”, you are most likely referring to the Die Hard protagonist himself. A cop with over 30 years experience in kicking arse and taking names, McClane excels himself in staying the hell alive, no matter how much punishment he gets. Give him a Mako, and you can guarantee that some ships are going to be blown up. Hell, mention his daughter being kidnapped by the main bad guy, and you won’t have to lift a finger!!!

    6. Clone of myself – As long as I get to bark orders at people, I might add myself to that list as well. As a skilled IT Technician with multiple malware and borked operating system fixes under his belt, he has the ability to bump his head on multiple occasions and run into door frames, increasing the morale of the team as a whole, who won’t be able to stop laughing at the buffoon, which there would now be two of. Wait a second…..

  • The Flying Spaghetti Monster:
    I would like a deity who has the power to touch with his noodly appendages my team, making us more buff, as well and punishing the non-believers by summoning forth pirates to help our cause.

    Ceiling Cat:
    Support one deity, get one free. I don’t know what he would do, but I can be pretty sure I don’t want to be against him. He may also bring monorail cat, the most effective form of transport known to both man and blue alien.

    Daniel Jackson:
    Someone who has the smarts, is awesomely awesome and I am pretty sure can bend toothpicks with his mind. Including Daniel allows my team to easily communicate with the natives, getting preferential treatment with aforementioned blue aliens.

    The Voice From Defense Grid:
    With such a smooth British accent and such a large data base of weapons to draw on, he would become the weapons and tactics master. Telling us whenever a core is being taken, or when we are under attack. And with an age that is as dependent on technology as this one, having someone with age (412,806 days old and he is still tech savvy enough to save an entire race from extinction) and wisdom on our side could prove particularly valuable. Plus I want to find some raspberries for him.

    Jane Goodall:
    We must cover all bases. We may come across monkeys. I am sure there are monkeys somewhere in the universe other than here and by jove I plan to let Jane attem

    Rincewind, from the Unseen University:
    He may be useless in every sense… ever, but he never dies, gets stuff done, and is haunted by luggage that carries itself on HUNDREDS OF LEGS. (HUNDREDS!!) (OF LEGS!!) Don’t ever worry about having to fight anyone. This luggage (with HUNDREDS OF LEGS!) solves dealing with enemies (it eats them) Storage issues (its eats everything) and it will never be misplaced (It eats… follow Rincewind across dimensions)

  • 1. Captain Spiers (Band of Brothers): Back when he served in World War II, he was respected and feared by his men because of rumours surrounding the execution of unarmed POW’s on D-Day. It was also told he shot his own man because he was apparently drunk. Whatever the outcome his men respected and feared him. [40+ Combat effective to nearby allies.]

    2. Darth Vader (Star Wars): The man is volatile i hear, well dagnamit, this is a volatile mission! His proficient skills with the lightsaber will prove usefull and his mind games will help create an army of disposable geth! Muahahaahaha.
    [50% chance of recruiting enemy combatants, 45+ Manipulation]

    3. Max Payne (Max Payne): He is an emotional wreck. After having lost his family and then his girlfriend Max has gone suicidal. A Suicidal man is what i need for a suicidal mission. He is an efficient killer and his ability to go in and out of bullent time can only serve us well. [40+ dexterity, 35+ agility]

    4.Dr. Nicholas Rush (Star Gate Universe): Every team needs the intel guy, and this man is fitting for the job. His stint on the Destiny excelled his skills even further allowing him to read alien languages and even control alien space craft. Befitting of the job really. Also His egotistical nature will surely make for some entertaining moments with Darth Vader. [Can translate alien text, 70+ inspection]

    5. Isaac Clarke (Dead Space): When i first heard news about a remarkable survival story involving a lone engineer killing hundreds of aliens, i knew we had to have him. Aside from being great and murdering deformed aliens, He can upgrade the crews weapons and armour too! [20+ reseach, Adds 36% to weapon effectiveness and 5+ armour to nearby allies]

    6. Lleyton Hewitt (Tennis Pro): Although his tennis game maybe lacking, his charisma is certainly not. Those burst of ‘COME AWWWN!’ are enough to boost the moral of a common soldier.
    [20+ Charisma, 15+ Intimidate, 86+ Brat, Active ability ‘COME ON!’ inspires nearby allies]

  • Morgan Freeman – He would make the perfect commentator, with aged bluesy wisdom and a soothing voice, he is a great addition to any team.

    Dwight K Shrute – When we all get tired, having an Assistant to the Regional Commander is always helpful. He also has great survival skills and a wide array of weapons, such as katanas, ninja stars, bow staff, sniper rifles and a scythe.

    Indiana Jones – The mighty adventurer who always gets the prize. Having him on the team will ensure I have a master escape artist and a great pathfinder.

    Han Solo – The badass scoundrel who can make the Kessel run in less than 5 parsecs. He will be the perfect pilot for the Normandy, because in the end, he is more capable than a cripple that likes to make parodies of Star Wars on Robot Chicken.


    Stephen Tyler – The man who sings to he bleeds, Stephen Tyler will disable the ears of any opponent with his incredibly high notes. DREAAAAM OOOON.

  • 1. Sherlock Holmes – Surely, there must be mysteries or puzzles to solve in the mission, and who better?

    2. Dr. Watson – medic!!! Although, his medical knowledge is probably out of date, but i’m sure he can pick it up fairly quicky!

    3. Richard Marcinko aka the “Rogue Warrior”. Bad ass soldier.

    4. Nathan Myhrvold – Stephen Hawking may be great at physics and related sciences, but he is, imo, too specialised. Someone such as Nathan Myhrvold, a very modern polymath, would probably be more useful as the “all rounder” scientist/smart guy.

    5. Talleyrand – say what you will about his politics, but this is one person with an intense personal charisma. There are just some things better left to diplomacy, after all…

    6. GLaDOS – why not? It’ll add some spice to the party, and if there is a way to turn against the enemy instead of her team mates, she’ll be very useful…

  • Let me see…

    1) Simo Häyhä – an extraordinary World War 2 Finnish sharpshooter who apparently had a confirmed kill count exceeding 500… using only iron sights on a bolt action rifle (not counting an additional 200 or so kills with a SMG.) Imagine what he could do with Mass Effect era weaponry.

    2)Lyta Alexander – to quote: “The telepathic equivalent of a Doomsday Weapon.” Mass mind control, telekinesis, and able to destroy technology. Sounds like the perfect adept to me.

    3)Field Marshal Erwin Rommel – former elite soldier (member of the Alpenkorps in WW1,) and a tactical genius. This man needs no further reason to be on the team.

    4) NS-5 Prototype “Sonny” – showing human-like sentience and possibly even sapience, wrapped into into an ultra-tough and exceptionally fast robotic body, with a first class AI, Sonny would be my tech specialist of choice. The fact that he is voice acted by Alan Tudyk adds more awesomeness to the cake.

    5)Q – Omnipotent. Although not the most powerful Q on the block insofar as Gods and superpowers are concerned, the panache, flair and sheer devilish enjoyment of inflicting his own brand of ultimate-power based humour on lesser species gives Q a spot on this team. Of course, Q’d mess with the team as much as with the enemy, but that would be a small price to pay.

    6) Shas’o Kais – armoured up in a fully upgraded XV22 Battlesuit, with daunting weaponry, excellent mobility, as well as a cloaking field, this Tau commander would make quick work of most armies put in his way. For the Greater Good, indeed.

  • 1. JC Denton (Deus Ex) – With all his cybernetic implants, this fellow could easily handle a broad range of roles, from bullet-soaking sponge to tech support. He also looks great wearing sunglasses!

    2. Garrett (Thief) – A capable thief is useful. A master thief that is able to enter the Shalebridge Cradle and escape with his life is useful AND foolhardy enough to take on whatever mission you throw at him. Good for bolstering team funds!

    3. Gordon Freeman (Half-Life) – A mute who does whatever he’s told and can survive virtually any hostile alien environment so long as he has his hazard suit. Being a scientist he could also prove invaluable in the research of alien artifacts and weapons. You’ll never find a man better with a crowbar!

    4. Tim Schafer (as if you don’t know) – A creative genius with a penchant for thinking outside the box. The potential exists for him to become a master strategist. If that fails, he can be my script-writer for cheesy one-liners and amusing anecdotes.

    5. The Engineer (Team Fortress 2) – Every good crew needs an engineer to look after the ship. Talented at construction and repair, this fellow will keep everything in tip-top shape, whether its the dispensers in the mess hall or the mind-boggling number of sentries dotting the hull of the ship! Also he has a guitar for camp-fire sing-alongs!

    6. Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw (Zero Punctuation) – A fast-talking, wise-cracking critic who would delight in pointing out your every little flaw, inevitably criticizing you for your unimaginative combat tactics and clear-cut good and evil decision-making. However, any improvement in your leadership would be nigh on impossible without such criticism! As an added bonus he could likely convince your enemies to kill themselves by ruining their self-esteem.

  • my imaginary love interest: Sexy Savant Lady

    my imaginary best friend: Awesomeness

    my imaginary body guard: Indestructible

    my imaginary alien linguist: (can’t pronounce the name) you can call her “hot alien”

    my imaginary alien linguist’s pet: I call it “Multi-talented almost Intelligent Thing”

    my imaginary pet: Black Dog

    Oh yea, there’s me who you can call “Crazy dude who talks to himself”.


  • 1. TF2 medic: Smart, experienced in combat and the ubercannon. He can heal when he’s in cover and you’re in the open getting blasted to hell.
    2. Private James Ramirez: “Ramirez destroy their base with your knife, now!” He’ll be my fodder.
    3. Marcus Fenix: More muscle than man, his default emotion is pissed and dials up to angry he also understands concept of cover.
    4. Solid Snake: How many guys can stay badass when they are 60? He can sneak in and out while the rest of the team is shooting up a storm.
    5. Yoshi: Can traverse almost any terrain, eats almost anything and Yoshi is a badass steed/vehicle.
    6. Earthworm Jim: Earthworm Jim, he’s such a groovy guy, Earthworm Jim, He rocket’s through the sky .

  • Mr T – Coz he treats yo mama right
    Ice T – The Original Gangsta
    Ice Cube – Amerikkkas Most Wanted
    Cuba Gooding Jr – Oscar winner, SNOW DOGS!!!
    Junior Burger – No cheese, I’m lactose intolerant
    Hamburgler – Wicked stealth and hamburger eating skills. Enjoys tense relationship with Junior Burger

  • 1)MacGyver – with a mullet that could destroy worlds and an amazing skill to turn anything to anything.
    2)Jack Bauer – It’s Jack for god sake! JACK BAUER DAMN IT!
    3)Picachu – of all the pokemon out there, it’s the only one who seems to enjoy electrocuting things..which is fine by me.
    4)Sethiroth – He’s got a totally awesome sword and a real attitude problem. Bent on world domination, he’d be happy to come along to all the different galaxies, as he searches for a world to start he’s ‘shiny new future’ on.
    5)Hiro Nakamora – With the power to stop time, how could you not pass up that kinda of skill set!
    6)My mate Tod – He’s built like a Brick shithouse…

  • 1. Lucy Pinder – Distraction method member ( hot, sexy, all thats needed, who needs brains ? )
    2. Micheal Atkinson – Bady bait, when in the heat of battle, throw a Atkinson at them…
    3.Hugh laurie ( house MC ) – Battle medic, is there any better ?
    4. Silvester Stallon – One man Army RAMBO!!!
    5. Chris Rock – Comedy relief for all those long days away from home! ( now all we need is a chinese person )
    6. Mr Chang ( South park chinese restuarant guy ) Serving us shitty beef and shitty chicken to keep us strong for our mission!

  • Six people to get into a suicide mission…

    John “Hannibal” Smith: you need a right hand man to take care of business and who better than a cigar smoking tough mofo who jumps of helicopters (at least he did in the opening credits). Most likely would be able to come up with an alternate plan of action and keep the team together from fear of unleashing the next guy on them:

    B.A. “Bad Attitude” Baracus: your perfect subsitute for Wrex. I mean, you know you loved Wrex, now we get Grunt. Why not substitute these guys for a chained-to-the-ying-yang-mohawk-sporting-shoot-at-anything-given-the-chance-to guy than Baracus? I know I would sign him up.

    Templeton “Faceman” Peck: Well, you need an infiltrator/assassin in your team don’t you? Who better than Face himself? Sneak in looking like the rest of them, sweet talk the blue-skinned secretary and gain access with no need to hack anything. In his escape route you can hear him recall his private time with the secretary as he hands over the key to wherever you need to go with a wink and a laugh.

    H.M. “Howling Mad” Murdock: Every team needs a mandman right? It is the kind of character that will be able to make you laugh and drop the pearls of wisdom amongst the rambling. Added because if they get killed you know you will be sorry about it.

    Merill Yanagawa (aka Benten)(Cyber City Oedo 808): Who better to offer their best than a chick-looking dude (or is it a dude-looking chick?) who has next to no chance for release from a 295 year sentence with next to no chance for parole? This dude! Or… chick, uh whatever.

    Last but not least!

    Your personal choice of either a red shirt (for the trekers), Jar-Jar Binks (for the Star Wars fans) or oh, heck, just coz of the punch scene in Way of the Gun, Sarah Silverman: “Why these people” you must be thinking? You need cannon fodder. It wouldn’t be a suicide mission if everyone made it 😉

    Samurai, out!

  • Sigourney Weaver: Not only gorgeous, this savvy vixen boasts a long resume; fighting off hordes of xenomorphic pests, holding extra-terrestrial linguistic finesse, and experience dealing with forces of the ectoplasmic variety. She brings to the team both skill and class.

    Leeroy Jenkins: An impulsively daring brute, this hero is unmeasureably brave and always the first to charge into battle.

    Frank: My brave and noble pup. As man’s best friend, this ball-of-muscle Frank embodies loyalty and fevour unmatched by any other on the team.

    Nina Kulagina: Brilliant psychic of the Soviet era, a foe will not breathe in her direction before falling. Capable of spoon bending until the spoon itself is no more, she is an invaluabled member of the team and shows us that you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

    Little Sister: Sending an unnerving song of war across the battlefield, Little Sister of Bioshock fame is the most unassuming of all team members. Neither as naive nor innocent as her appearance suggests, she turns fallen enemies into fuel for the mind of Nina Kulagina.

    Nietzsche – the God Slayer: Armed with the knowledge of the endless cycle of existence, Nietzsche is the final member of our team and leads the team with an insight of purity that sees them ‘be what they are’. His fanaticism challenges all who oppose them.

  • Behold – a crack(pot) team of misfits:

    1. Jar-Jar Binks: Listen, we all hate him. But Rhys why he’d be good – if anyone ever met him in person, they’d want to kill themselves! We’d need to muzzle him, but it’s worth it.

    2. Cesar Milan – The Dog Whisperer: Come up against an army of mutated dogs or irradiated wolves? Cesar wouldn’t just lull them, he’d recruit them!

    3. Master Chief: We need a stone cold, faceless ass kicker on the team, and he’s it!

    4. Sun Tzu: This wise spouted of philosophy will lead our group to victory through organisation! Tactics are his area of expertise, and he’ll be our strategist.

    5. Starwolf: Lets face it, he’s our backup plan. Bad guy trying to destroy the world? Wolf has a few words for him: “Cant let you do that.” Indeed, Wolf, indeed.

    6. Chewbacca: We need a mascot, so how about one who RIPS PEOPLES’ ARMS OFF?!? He’s lovable, furry, and is a master of hand to no-more-hand and ranged combat.


    • Dang iPhone, that ‘Rhys’ should be ‘that’s’, and ‘spouted’ should be ‘spouter.’

      On a side note, this is a fun competition, and a lot of entries are hilarious.

  • 1. Flying Spaghetti Monster: Perfect assassin since no-one can prove his existence. Or non-existence. Plus he looks like pasta, seriously who would suspect pasta?

    2. Jane (Ender Saga): Faster than light travel would mean you’d never have to get into an elevator! Or drive!

    3. Sackboy: No-one hits a sackboy. Or girl. Could be good for stirring up controversy if the media ever heard of it. What? Shepherd can has relations with an alien (?) that’s a boy AND/OR a girl? Clearly the work of the devil.

    4. Han Solo: Because he shot first.

    5. Alicia Melchiott: Cos everyone needs a fast moving scout with chances of double movement and the ability to fully heal. And become a super charged mythical thing with pretty glowy blue light. Plus, since Welkin’s not around…

    6. Angelina Jolie: Firstly, her lips would block enemy field of vision. Secondly, she’s like Tomb Raider AND some chick who can curve bullets. And if things don’t work out with Alicia…hey, it could happen…it gets lonely in space. 😉

  • 1. The bear Jew – bat weilding nazi hating homicidal maniac need at least one on your team. you never know if aliens are nazi.
    2. GlaDOS – need a maniac computer with a slight effeminate voice
    3. Sigourney Weaver – Every team needs a Heroine not the type you snort. Just in a tank top and underwear the whole time.
    4. HONEST ABE Lincoln – he is a pretty tall masculine guy for a president and cool hat and beard. He classy up the team with the top hat.
    5. B.A Baracus MR. T version knows how to drive a mad ass van and can get you out of trouble. you will have to find him in Los Angeles underground.
    6. Michael Keaton – can multiply, can get rid of people in your house if your dead, BATMAN , SNOWMAN, and best of all MR. MOM does the dishes and great in poker but you will only win coupons

  • 1. Admiral Ackbar
    Who else would be more useful as part of a space venturing team? Without him, we’d never know if a trap was imminent.

    2. J.R. Ewing
    Adventures aren’t cheap, so we’d need someone to fund us, and a wealthy texas oil man should do the job. Plus he has negotiating experience, and could talk the enemies out of shooting us whilst at the same time, selling ice to eskimo’s.

    3. A future version of myself
    This is a SCI-FI mission after all. What’s sci-fi without a little time travel?
    Having a future version of myself is certainly a team mate who i can trust, and someone who would know all about the enemy and what we have to do.
    Then again… that i felt the need to send myself back in time could be good or bad…

    4. Alan Quartermaine
    Good chance shooting is going to be involved, so who better to have along then a seasoned hunter, who is also a treasure hunter. He’ll be sharpshooting Geth from miles away, all the while, searching for ancient and useful treasure on whatever planet we happen to be on.

    5. Medic from TF2
    It just wouldn’t be a Mass Effect style mission if we didn’t have a sexy space nazi, and without Ashley, someone needs to fill the void. Plus there’s probably some other skill he has that would come in handy…

    6. Isaac Clarke
    I’m pretty sure after the rollicking romp that was Dead Space, Isaac would find fighting Geth to be a walk in the park (and alot easier on his psyche). It’d be pretty hard to find someone with better qualifications, or experience. Plus, he’s an engineer, so he can improve the rubbish handling of the Mako.

  • Gizmo (gremlins) – cute little guy would be great at infiltration, walking through airducts hiding in boxes/luggage, etc, plus break the ‘rules’ and hey-presto insta-squad of bitey, sadistic gremlins itching to cause mischief, plus the ‘Awww Cute’ factor may come in to play.

    The magic broomstick from Disney’s Fantasia (coupled with an extensive amoury)- an autonamous, semi-intellegent construct, that each time its sliced and diced or shot to hell,
    its splinters spawn into more magic broomsticks,all of which are hell bent to complete their given task. Given a woodchipper or a frag grenade and , boom, instant platoon.

    Lelouch Lamperouge (code geass) – with his inate leadership abilities, and his superb planning, the cannon fodder above will be used to best advantage, plus his ability to contrrol anyone’s mind once (per person) may come in handy, and he comes fully equipped with a powerful Mecha 🙂

    Guyver #1 (Bio Booster Armor Guyver)- Alien sybiotic bioboosted armour, yes please. A guyver unit would add greatly to the squads firepower, overpowered coupled with a regeneration power that can regrom the entire host from pretty much any level of injury (only the control orb need survive) and you got one hell of a warrior.

    Glory (image comics) – a nigh immortal amazonian princess with a demon heart (think wonder woman without the aversion to killing and you’re getting there), she can tear you to shreds while still looking good, or simply bash the living daylights out of you on a good day….note to self do not piss her off.

    Kratos (god of war) – when going to war who better than the god that reigns over it, set him loose and whatch the carnage unfold, only con it may be hard to get him to listen to Lelouch…

  • 1. Voltron – Interdimensional ass kicking robot. Also a better mode of transportation for the other 5 in my group. Each of use get to stomp around in lion bots or combine to make a massive robot with kick ass sword.

    2. Morgan Freeman – He can do the announcements on the ship and tell me stories before bedtime. I also think, given a rocketlauncher this man could do some serious damage, there is probably a wild beast caged beneathe the dulcid tones of his voice.

    3. Cate Archer (No-one Lives for Ever) – I shall bring her forward from the 70’s and this sexy secret agent shall take on the forces of evil with me. Not only does she come packing explosive lipstick and sleeping gas perfume, she has a scathing sense of humor that would belittle the most powerful enemy.

    4. Carrot Top or Yahoo Serious – Either of these two. Only reason is for them to sacrifice themselves… or they ‘accidently’ get killed when the airlock breaks and they cant get back inside. Either way works.

    5. Garrett (from thief) – Half the time we wont even notice he is on the team till after a battle we all get back inside the cockpit of Voltron and find credits and valuables stacked high in the corner with Garrett looking smug.

    6. Harvey Birdman attorney at law – For the inevitable sueing we will get for breaching so many copyrights. Also because he is a super hero and comedy relief.

  • 6 x Chuck Norris – because the man gets results, and I believe can clone himself (hell, I hear his tears can cure cancer, what can’t this man do. Too bad he never cries, right guys?… right?)

  • 1. Kratos, for obvious reasons
    2. Batman, because he always has a plan
    3. Optimus Prime, because hes a giant effing robot!
    4. Goku, because his power level is over 9000
    5. A Lolcat, for the lols

  • 1. A big Ugly Dog – Lets face it, dogs are awesome. they can also loot corpses and bring you back somthing useful…or an arm off a corpse. Also guard your ship and and be there for comic relief when he pisses on somone.

    2. Jean Luc Picard – He’s commanded the Enterprise and is experienced in combat on ground and on ship.

    3. A borg Drone – Can assimilate more people into drones is a plus, this expanding my forces. Can use and take technology from others. Does not whinge and whine like normal crewman.

    4. Batou – Experienced in combat plus having a high quality Cubernetic armoured body is good too. highly trained and can also hack.

    5. Duff Man – This guy will inspire my Team with thrusting motions and ice cold cans of Duff. Limited combat experience but excels in Bar fights.

    6.Boba Fett – Fett kicks arse, He can also do side missions to bring in extra credits. Also being connected to Jaba the Hutt may come in handy when we need supplies and weapons…or Dancing girls.

  • 1# Arnold Schwarzenegger
    He has proven himself as an excellent combatant time and time again. He can handle various types of missions (look after kindergarten kids, kill an alien predator, defeat Satan), and is proficient with heavy/energy weapons.
    2# John Farnham
    Just when you think he’s done for, he will rise up from the ashes and be more powerful than ever before. He has shown a clear understanding of biotics and how to manipulate them to sustain an unnaturally long human life and vocal prowess, and could open up new dialogue options with ‘The Voice’.
    3# Kevin Rudd
    This character can keep your party safe, even when the world around you falls into a crisis. While he has limited technological knowledge (see national broadband scheme), he has plenty of charm and is just as eager as the next guy to go to war. He has experience in coercing with different races, and is an expert in how to navigate a planet.
    4# Darth Revan
    Comes with multiple plot twists, has experience with the Bioware designers and knows space like the back of their hand. Revan has biotic like powers, and can deflect incoming fire with his lightsaber. Has experience in galaxy at threat scenarios. Revan could be possible romantic option for both male and female protagonists.
    5# Station (Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey)
    What space party can expect to succeed without a big lovable alien? When it comes to technology, this guy (guys) is the best you can get; he has an affinity with robots. He’s smart, he’s strong, and he can take a knock from the burliest of Krogen’s. What he lacks in communication, he makes up for in size, which can be suited to your needs.

    6# Natalie Portman
    Sex on legs female character, it’s a must. She has the street cred to go toe to toe with universes hardest gangsters (see Natalie’s rap), and her skills in space diplomacy are unrivalled (star wars, V for Vendetta).

  • 1. Flemeth (Dragon Age Origins) – an ancient powerful abomination whose lived no one knows how long?

    2. Superman – I mean come on its SUPERMAN. Laser beam eyes, flight at the speed of sound, what’s not to like?

    3. The Brain – at least he’d be the only one I’d have to worry about with loyalty issues. >_> and maybe he’d be able to mind control some of those baddies into killing themselves for me.

    4. Elixir – Just in case we needs some healing.

    5. The Flash – for nice speedy escapes. After all one should know when to retreat.

  • 1-arnold swartnegger (John, Commando)-he can terminate an entire communist party by himself.
    2-Ken Foree-just in case of a zombie apocalypse
    3-Luke Skywalker-he can fight blind
    4-Bruce Lee-I mean, c’mon
    5-Dr. Peter Venkman-When the crap hits the fan, who are you going to call?
    6-Clint Eastwood-he can kick butt in the west or in space

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