WIN! Aliens Vs Predator Hunter Edition On PS3

WIN! Aliens Vs Predator Hunter Edition On PS3

Our week-long Aliens Vs Predator giveaway continues today with a PlayStation 3 Hunter Edition up for grabs. And we find out who won yesterday’s PC draw.

UPDATE: Tuesday’s draw is now closed. Check back in Wednesday morning for another chance to win and find out who scored Tuesday’s prize.

Thanks to Sega we have SIX copies of Aliens Vs Predator, the new first-person shooter from Rebellion launching this Thursday, to give away. From now until the weekend we’ll be giving away one copy per day across PC, PS3 and Xbox 360.

They’re not just any old copies though, they’re the Hunter Edition. That’s the very limited edition that includes: * The game * Steelbook case * Four bonus multiplayer maps * A replica mouldable facehugger * A Weyland sleeve badge * A 3D lenticular card

That’s right, I said replica mouldable facehugger.

To enter today’s draw for the PS3 edition you’re going to have to write a limerick that begins: “There once was an alien/a predator/a colonial marine named…” (Just choose one!)

You’ve got until midnight tonight to leave your limerick in the comments below. No multiple entries are allowed. However, you may of course enter tomorrow’s draw.

And the winner of Monday’s PC draw is Blashca for this topical and clever spin on the joke:

So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar…

The joke contains first-person perspective, close-up depictions of human characters being subjected to various types of violence, including explicit decapitation and dismemberment as well as locational damage such as stabbing through the chest, mouth, throat, or eyes. The joke exceeds the requirements for a MA15+ rating. No censored or cut version of the joke is planned.

[Terms and Conditions]

Comments

  • There was a Colonial Marine, HICKS, Dwayne.
    With Ripley on the Sulaco was near-slain.
    Jim Cameron also had him in Terminator,
    But not in his Avatar flick, later.
    Oh wait, Im thinking of the actor Michael Biehn…

  • There once was a Marine named Atkinson,
    Who thought this great series I shouldn’t have again,
    Now at nearly thirty, I feel I shall game as I please,
    Let’s hope this tragedy doesn’t happen again…

    • Huh?

      I think you need to re-write this and follow how the limerick should be written, not some random sentences that dont even rhyme

  • There once was a colonial marine named Bill,
    Who sometimes acted a bit of a dill,
    But in the last firefight, He showed he had might
    Though it did him no good, yes Bill didn’t end up alright.
    Yeah, after that he made Twister.

  • There once was a predator named hount
    with more trophies than you could count
    he replicates voices he hears
    but where the f*%! are his ears
    cooler, he rides the alien queen as his mount

  • There once was a predator named Charlie,
    who had a man crash on Arnie.
    He killed all his mates,
    in order to get dates.
    If only he was invited to the choppa.

  • An Alien, a Predator and a Marine finally became sick of fighting with advanced weaponry so the Alien came up with an idea inspired by his favourite video game of all time – The ‘Threepwood’ rhyme battle. They all agreed this was the best plan of action to take.

    They entered the theatre arena, leaving their weapons at the door – let the battle begin!

    First up was the predator, whose dialect and poem was by far the worst…

    Af kon tant tatxe galketgan!
    Zi tik korud larginzo ban!
    Hus rez ud zeawoo!
    Joi tzujaingasoo!
    Ezrit lur tziku tsu gertan!

    Predator goes invisible out of shame.

    “Nicely done predo”

    The Marine thought he definitely had one up on this…

    There once was a colonial marine named… bush
    who fired a mini-gun off into the… bush
    about his reason, when asked
    he said, a predator just passed,
    An Alien in the hand is worth two in the… bush?

    Many Alien *face palms*follow, because he had a doozy up his slimy sleave.

    There oncce was an Alien named Giger (that’s me)
    Whose armss were like that of tiger (but obviously better)
    When he was politely assked at the door, (where we got our name tags)
    To remove hiss weaponss and more, (…)
    He forgot about the 2 face higers.

    “higers?” said the marine “Now what in the fu…,,,cvmmm mmmm mmdmd ahmmmgghhhghhhhhhh…………..”

  • There once was a Predator named Ryan,
    Who spent most of his time crying,
    The tears would not end,
    For he had but one friend,
    That is, till he ripped out their spine.

  • There once was a Predator named Pew-Pew
    Who was asked to write a limerick on cue
    No fleshed out ideas
    So he drank many beers
    Foiled by Wildgoose again, FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU

  • There once was a marine named Hicks
    Who slept all the way to ‘426.
    By default he gained authority
    And he survived amongst a minority.
    But he still ended up nothing but bits.

    • Just cleaning up some of the grammar…

      There once was a marine named Hicks
      Who slept all the way to ‘426.
      By fate he gained authority
      Surviving amongst a minority.
      But still ended up nothing but bits.

  • There once was an Alien named Snappy,
    Who never knew his Mammy or Pappy,
    He got locked in a lab,
    With some marines and a crab,
    And they all played some Dance Dance revolution.

  • There once was a marine named Gavin,
    Who awoke to troubles you couldn’t imagine,
    Dark long hallways,
    Not to mention the acid sprays,
    F*ck it he should have slept in.

  • There once was a marine named Bob, who liked to make alien shish ka bob,
    He traveled by ship with a pistol on his hip looking forward to split and make hummus in a aliens stomich,
    They arrived at the place, a deserted military base, hunger tied to his face, as his heart started to race realizing it was now or never there was no escape
    Traveling down a hall, Bob took a big fall, and broke his jaw
    Crying in pain, now life wouldn’t be the same as he felt more pain . . .
    What was this? An alien burst out of his stomach . . Damn so much for the hummus

  • There once was a colonial marine…
    Poor bloke feared what the camera left unseen.
    A valiant stereotype,
    He ducked and he dodged,
    Sadly just prior to his head being dislodged.

    • ““There once was an alien/a predator/a colonial marine named…” (Just choose one!)””

      As they had parents who did not care enough to give them A-typical names ( Who names there kid “Just choose one!” they became angry with the world around them and eventually this spurred on a war between all three races…

      Interesting notes: The marines parents we actually tossing up between naming their kid either “PEPSI” or “COKE” but COKE wouldn’t pay up unless they named him “COKE ZERO”. They eventually decided on “Just choose one!” as a result of their indecision.

      This alien was persecuted for his non standard xeno name as all previous aliens had traditional xeno names and all after ware simply named 0001, 0002 etc. The Queen obviously became fed up with thinking of new names over the years.

      The origins of the Preds name are unknown at this time. If you see him down the pub, please ask him.

  • A lot of these sumbissions are MEGAFAIL

    Do you people even read how to enter the competition before you submit your entry?

    David – why do you publish entries that dont meet your requirements?

    • Dans, your limerick only has three lines and none of them rhyme. And you’ve ignored the required opening line. Sheesh!

      • There once was a competition on Kotaku,
        The prize was somewhat an otaku,
        Dansdans would complain,
        Wildgoose put him to shame,
        In his head, Dan would reply; fuck you.

          • I wanted to give thanks for your comment,
            But a lack of witty lines I would lament,
            But to make my thanks rhyme,
            With rhythm and time,
            Now that’s a thanks with which I’m content.

            (I’m really in a limerick writing mood,
            As I’m sure you may have assumed,
            But my rhymes are getting sloppy,
            And my rhythm, choppy,
            But Dans, I wrote two just for you)

          • We SO need to have a “Comments Must Be Submitted In Limerick Form Or They Won’t Be Published” day on Kotaku.

          • Oh can we Mr Wildgoose, please?
            It would rid us of smut and sleaze,
            For only the intelligent can write,
            Limericks like you and I might,
            I don’t want to get on my knees..

            I think I’m done now.

          • Thats three in total now Ryan

            If i didnt know any better, I’d say you are trying to seduce me…

          • Dansdans, surely you must have knew this,
            As I go about my limerick writing business,
            I’m not trying to seduce you,
            Though it’s a side effect I’m used to,
            It comes with being such a cunning linguist.

          • I must confess, it is my intention,
            To win Rebellion’s invention,
            But if I don’t win,
            I ask, with a grin,
            For at least an honourable mention.

            For I’ve written stunning limericks with pleasure,
            For you to enjoy at your leisure,
            So Dansdans, Wildgoose,
            What I now ask of you,
            Is to return me one for good measure.

        • There once was a a colonial marine named Ripley
          She was as hot as a scientist could be
          Everything worked out okay
          She and her cat got away
          To rescue Newt in the next movie

          • Unfortunately DansDans, my actual entry up above isn’t nearly as strong as the limericks I wrote on your comment, so if I don’t win I totally understand.

    • Just another little annoying thing as well is those people that submit their answer by replying to someone, most likely to have their answer on the first page.

      It’s happened on pretty much all comps in the past. it’s just rude that you would tack on your own submission, so it’s “abit” more visible. People, David does read beyond the first 25 comments… it doesn’t matter if you are on page 1 or page 12…

      Note – this isn’t against Ryan and the 3 limericks attached to these comment strings, as I’m aware his real submission is further up.

  • There once was an alien named XXX Dug
    A masseur who did more than face hug
    Down your throat was all he could muster
    Forming a majestic chest buster
    Attempt not, the “ACIDIC RUB ‘n’ TUG” !!

  • There once was a boy name medekai,
    who didn’t rate Alien vs Predator very high.
    He spat his dummy,
    about the game being crummy,
    he will never get a piece of this pie.

  • There was a Predator named Gecko,
    Who went on a big hunting trekko,
    His girlfriend took offence,
    To his double compliments,
    Turns out it was ‘cause of the echo.

  • There once was an alien named Abbie
    Who apparently didn’t get mad, but got stabby,
    She had a sex-change operation,
    Which gave her a male transformation,
    But strangely still got, once a month, oh-so crabby.

  • There was a marine named Brock,
    Who wished that the war would stop,
    For every new fight,
    That occured every night,
    Just seemed like paper scissors rock.

  • There once was an Alien called Hex,
    God damn she looks fine in Spandex,
    Made Good Game complete,
    With a package so sweet,
    Shes the Marilyn Monroe for us Techs.

  • There once was a colonial marine named Stephen,
    Who moral path he sought us to believe in,
    Supported a by few,
    In ended in a coup,
    For the entire battalion was stheethin’.

  • There once was a colonial marine.
    Who smelt remarkably like a latrine.
    His company was not thrilled.
    Yet only he was not killed.
    For no alien nor predator could stand his hygiene.

  • There once was a predator named $&@%)-
    Who had a loving crush on $@#!*
    He asked her out
    And without a doubt
    That night he’d be %*#%ing her $(}\$@!

  • ****MA15+ Warning: Involves Sexual Content***

    There once was a young Colonial Marine named Calamity…
    Who liked to engage in a bit of secret Alien beastiality…
    Until that fateful day…
    A Predator came her way…
    And in disgust, killed them both with extreme brutality…

  • There once was an alien named Stitch,
    a legend was he, and quite rich,
    the hero of the hive,
    the taker of lives,
    but still he’ll be the queens b!?@&

  • There was once a marine named MacGyver,
    Who found himself with in a situation most dire,

    But with a few items and bits,
    And with is unmeasurable wits,

    The Alien food chain he was now higher.

  • There once was an alien named Joe Hockey
    whom many found quite stocky
    though quick on the pace
    to suck out your face
    he’d always act real cocky

  • There once was a marine with a scar
    Who went with Alien to a bar.
    Predator looked at the bloke
    Asked ‘is this a joke?’
    If so it’s the best by far!

  • There once was a marine named Yutani,
    Who yearned for Arcturian punani,
    He’d have it without fail,
    Even if it was male,
    And Hudson says, “That sh*t ain’t funny!”

  • There once was a marine named McBain, who purchased Springfield YMCA.
    He teared it down to make a hunting ground to kill the worlds deadliest prey.
    McBain slaughtered them all, commie-nazis and more until predator came to game.
    Now it was time for pain and a disc hit Mcbain, but no tears ever came.
    A shot was made, predator was a grave. Victory for McBain.

  • There once was a colonial marine named …
    To bad it wasn’t exclaimed
    Before he fell with a thud
    Right into some acid blood
    For he was severely maimed

  • There once was an alien named Fred,
    Who wanted to chop off my head,
    When all hope seemed lost,
    With my fingers crossed,
    A melee, a shotgun, he’s dead.

  • There once was a predator named Ph’nglui,
    Whose name was received fairly cooly,
    Even in predator tongue
    Calling for him stung
    So they eventually just called him Louie.

  • An alien name Greg that got chafers rash aye
    he was calming to the ceiling and got this
    Weird feeling then he started slipping of the
    Ceiling fell and lost all his feelings in his church
    Now Greg jump and humps anybody that stops
    Like a dog who just lost his nuts alien with no home and
    Can’t Use A Phone you would be pissed too!!!!

  • There once was a colonial marine named Davey,
    Who was constantly stabbed in the facey,
    Ill-content with his kills,
    He polished his Skills,
    Now he grills all the Noobs with his Matey.

  • There once was an alien named Cassidy,
    Who found himself becoming quite flacid-y,
    He went to the quacka,
    Who examined his cloaca,
    And said, “Of course, your blood is quite acid-y”

  • Here we go again…

    There once was a colonial marine named Pauline
    Who thought aliens were bloody obscene
    “I’ve had enough of their tricks,
    So I’m moving to LV-426”
    And now Hanson is host to a queen.

  • There once was an Alien who cheated
    And acted a little conceited
    He could sprint through the hall
    Or even up a wall
    But the stealth button is all that he needed

  • There once was an alien named Jean.
    Who loved to bow down to her Queen.
    But in 2010,
    They’d all vote again,
    to keep in that old has-been!

  • There once was an alien named Lady Gaga
    To get close to her you would have to barter
    She brought the boys to the yard
    And bringing girls wasn’t hard
    She had the best of both worlds and was smarter

  • There once was a Colonel named Trauppman
    and if someone messed with him he’d drop them,
    but Predator was quick,
    and used dirty tricks,
    to tear up the poor Colonel’s bottom.

  • There once was a predator named Mick
    who was looking forward to the new Cameron flick
    Can you imagine his face?
    It was Pocahontas in space
    so he’s hunting the director with a sharp stick.

  • There once was a colonial marine named Hicks
    Who thought he was incredibly slick
    He tried to team up with Vasquez
    In order to get her in bed
    But it turned out that she had a dick.

  • There once was an alien called Gary,
    Who’s mother was a predator… scary!
    If he only ate his marine
    and left any of his greens
    She threatened to cut something off and call him Mary.

  • There once was a synthetic (I preffer the term artificial person myself) named Art,
    who longed so much to have a human heart.
    He met a Predator named Pauline,
    who had just ripped ‘a fresh one’ out of a Marine,
    she gave it to him… Well.. I think it was the bottom part.

  • There once was a marine named John Urkle,
    Whose hurtful leg was purple,
    But to his concern,
    He soon learned,
    Running in circles leaves you hirple.

  • There once was an alien named six,
    he was smart, he knew some tricks,
    Weyland studied all his skills,
    before six made some (mo-mo-mo-mo-mo) monsterkills,
    and Weyland passed the river styx.

  • There once was an alien named Queen,
    who waited till the end to be seen,
    for her the enemy was to be eaten,
    but in the end she was beaten,
    flushed away went the lean, mean, killing-machine!

  • There once was a colonial marine named Bob,
    who felt he had a decent job.
    He fought in a war,
    against aliens and more,
    but alas, he became a human corn cob.

  • There once was a colonial marine named buckE
    He considered himself to be quite lucky
    But one unfortunate day
    From his platoon he did stray
    Now his head has became a little un-stucky

  • There once was a Predator named Broken Tusk,
    He would move silently through the shadows of dusk.
    They stole his persona on the silver screen,
    Dachande was his real name and he was more than a machine,
    With his bare hands he left an Alien Queen as a mere husk.

  • There once was a Predator named Fritzel
    In an underground dungeon he made them dwell
    Living in fear of torture and rape
    When I heard the news my mouth was agape
    I hope you burn in hell!

    Fritzel must be pronounced Frit-zell

  • There once was a Predator named “Sue”
    who sought to kill by screaming “boo.”
    He ran up on a marine.
    Yelled boo!
    He screamed!
    But he didn’t die,just made a big poo.

    Life is tough when you’re a Predator named “Sue.”

  • There once was a colonial marine advisor named Weaver,
    In ‘Half Moon Street’ she flashed us her beaver,
    She showed off her front,
    To the rest of us grunts,
    Guess she don’t like the cornbread either.

  • There was once a predator called Axle,
    Who was sentenced to death by the Council,
    He enslaved his own daughter,
    Whom he kept in a cellar,
    Just like our very own “Pred” Josef Fritzl.

  • There once was a predator named Clyde
    Who couldn’t make love to his bride
    He thought he could stop her
    But she got to the chopper
    A better ride than Clyde had supplied

  • There once was a predator named Ted,
    who persistently tried making me dead!
    You know being a marine,
    ain’t as great it first seemed,
    As he’s slowly ripping off my head!!!

  • There was a predator named Jack who had a nice and shiny claw,
    A lucky marine named sam got to have a look as it impaled his lovely jaw,
    But little did this predator know,
    an alien wes about to steal the show,
    The aliens name was Frank Gale,
    He impaled Jack with his nice and shiny tail,
    Then along came another marine who’s name was shane,
    And so the cycle would begin again.

  • There once was an alien named Larry,
    the swipe of the predator he did parry,
    he then played his ace,
    and bit off his face,
    then was gunned down by the marine, Barry

  • There once was a predator who escaped from Footlocker,
    He did a big runner is someone’s socka,
    Little did we we know that an Alien would show,
    Cops came but could not subdue
    Until the Alien succumbed to the smell of my shoe

  • There once was an alien named Ridley,
    Who was born from the chest of Bo Diddley,
    He could jive, he could sing…
    Snarling looks with a double grin,
    But his critics would end up all squiggly!

    There once was a Predator named Hish,
    Who starred on a show Iron-Chef-Predator,
    He made Head kebabs, Spinal baps,
    Mostly human gourmet snacks,
    But was beaten by Major Alan “Dutch” Schaefer!

    The once was a marine called George Dillon,
    Starring more than one TV show and film,
    Lost a hand by a ‘Happy’ Croc,
    An arm through a ‘Predator’ Schlock!
    But ‘Developed’ an ‘Arrested’ …baby you’ve got a stew going!

  • There once was a predator named Ray,
    Who as it turned out was gay,
    The marines laughed,
    The aliens barfed,
    So all those jerks he did slay.

  • I just wanted to say keep up the competitions “Team Kotaku” Am having great fun entering these, the level of creative entries really shows how talented your readers are. Good luck all!

    • There once was a predator named Meat,
      Of skin and entrails would he eat,
      Not seen in the day,
      Leads many to say,
      “To catch him would be quite a feat.”

  • There once was a predator named Greer
    Who tore out the eye of a deer
    Bob called out “Oh My”
    All I taste is stye
    Then washed it all down with a beer

  • There once was an alien named facehugger,
    who loved the face to bugger,
    Without wanting to discriminate,
    a marine he did impregnate and
    and at breakfast he did develop a hunger.

  • There once was a marine named vick, with his head and spine ona stick..he said we had a good plan ,but i fear predator killed the man..I could hear his screaming from a long way, as I was hidden hoping to hear him say..I killed the creature I’m still alive..but now it’s jus slience with no replies..I start creeping into the darkness as my hands feel a bloody carcas..I can slowly start to see a light as I think it could be alright..I pray it’s vick in the distance as I shout hoping for his assistance..I start to run straight ahead as I slip Ina puddle an hit my head..a minute goes by an my vision comes back to place and I look up and notice blood all over the place..I slowly grab my flashlight from outta my pouch……..click……….Vicks head lookin at me with a open mouth…eyes starin at me keeping my heart stuck..as I hear a growl behind me..all I can say is (now I’m @’&$ed)

  • There once was an alien named jay. Who ate marine heads all day..predator started to tear so he pick up his spear and now they play fetch all day

  • So, an alien, the predator and a colonial marine walk into a bar… Sitting at a table they start telling stories on the events of the day.
    “It was crazy!” said the Predator, “There I was, lining up a kill on these two lazy Marines out in the open, when suddenly one drops to the ground dead, completely ruining my shot! I need a drink…”
    “What? That was us!” said the Marine, “There we were, minding our own business when all of a sudden he drops to the ground dead! I had to go tell his family, it was horrible! I need a drink…”
    “It was crazy!” said the Alien, “There I was, inside this Marine, minding my own business…”

  • There once was a predator named Kevin Peter Hall.

    Who challenged Arnold Schwarzenegger to a deadly jungle brawl.

    He took off his mask

    and beat Arnie’s arse.

    Now he’s huntin’ Aliens in a bloody free for all!

  • Two aliens out on a Blinder
    One raised the unwelcome reminder
    “your Ex was a Dog”
    He could do nothing but nod
    saying “it was that or Wynona Ryder.”

  • there once was a pred named stan
    who screwed a facehugger till banned
    but he kept some good tapes
    and showed them to his mates
    and they said they all understand.

  • There once was a Pred named Fred. He couldn’t get out of bed. His mates were gone, the hunt went on and he cried himself to sleep instead.

  • There once was a predator named Hanson,
    Who hunted and held Asians ransom,
    She bitched and fought,
    “SEND THE MARINES!” she thought,
    But she was an alien from Britain.

  • There once was a predator named Bruce.
    Who could be described as being slightly obtuse.
    One day just for fun,
    He took his spear gun,
    Then put the tip to his head and let loose.

  • There once was an alien named Leela
    Everybody wanted to Kill her
    Doctor Kleiner had her debeaked
    Barney did freak
    Atleast she didn’t break the teleporter like Lamarr

  • There once was an alien named Ted,
    Who took a predator to bed,
    It felt like a dream,
    Then along came a marine,
    Now both alien and predator are dead

  • there once was an alien named red,
    one day he was shot in the head,
    by a colonial marine, who was quite green,
    and was eaten after the alien rezzed.

    :\

  • There was once a predator named Predition
    Created solely to win this competition
    He was willing to please
    Particularly on his knees.
    Surely he deserves 1st position!

  • There once was a Colonial Marine named Ripley
    Who saw an alien bitch and felt sickley
    She screamed out “you’re dead”
    Then filled it will lead
    And scrambled its eggs for some brekky

  • There once was a marine called “redshirt”
    Online, he’d often get quite hurt
    From losing his spine
    Or digested in alien chyme
    His juvenile replies were quite curt.

  • There once was an Alien named Shane.
    who once cause some incredible pain.
    From the insides he’d jut,
    bouncing out of his gut.
    Resulting in the death of Marine Kane.

  • There once was a Predalien named Chet
    And he would not soon forget
    His first film so dire
    He was forced to retire
    Blaming Fox for all his regrets

  • There was once an Alien named Bubbles
    He ran into a Predator and knew there was going to be trouble
    So he whip out his second head to make a double
    They got into a tussle and turned that Predator into rubble.

  • Once there was a Marine, who built his base out of brick,
    The Aliens tore the place to shit,
    There was another Marine who built his base out of cement,
    The Predators blow the place to content,
    There was another Marine, who built his base out of steel along with 4 sniper towers, 16 machine gun turrets and whole base full of heavily armed Marines.
    The Aliens and Predator ate a shit load of lead.

  • There once was an alien named Mikey
    He was in a gang with a bikey
    Attorney General SA
    Would not run away
    As gamers are scarier by crikey!

  • ther once was a colonial marine hoe had a weird sense of smell he had this very weird smell all the time. ones he sayd why do the aliens and predator not attack me. he whas worried. onnce he was in front of the alien queen and even she died from the smel zo he did know that it was his smell zo he sayd to another marin why does this always happen to me. the other marine sayd dude its your smell your always swetty god your zo dum.

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