Dead Space 2 is set for release this coming January, but the demo is currently available for download. Considering that the original was probably one of the best single player experiences of this generation, we totally recommend giving it a bash. And while you’re at it, you may as well have a shot at winning a copy of the game when it’s released in 2011.
We have five copies up for grabs, and the entry mechanic is simple. You asked for a Haiku competition and by jeebus you’re going to get one! We want you to tell us, in Haiku form, how scared/excited/terrified you were when you first played either the original Dead Space, or the Dead Space 2 demo.
Here’s my rubbish example.
I open the door, A dead baby eats my face, My pants are soiled.
The five most entertaining/funny/clever entries win the game – leave your Haikus in the comments below and I’ll announce the winners next Friday.
Terms and Conditions can be found here.
You see my face
You hear me speak out loud
The game is ruined
You tell her play
The Necro jumps out with a fright
Girlfriend hates you
Hear a noise and turn…
They are coming from behind!
Race to dismember.
You thought this would
would move units on the Wii.
Oh the horror!
Dammit haiku fail!
You thought this would
would move units on the
Wii. The horror!
Yeah, I’ve got nothing.
ROFL!!!!
STTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM!!!!
:p
An empty room,
A presence is felt,
Dead in space.
A haiku is 5,7,5 mate ๐
might want to re-do that one ๐
5,7,5? So my correction above was wrong as well. That’s it! I’m packing up my toys and going home. *runs away crying*
HAW HAW!!
Garment scent, pine fresh.
First fright of Dead Space launch night.
What’s that funky smell?
Will have to get the demo now cause I’ve never played before. Give me a minute.
I gloat about braveness
High-pitched scream at seeing a baby
Friends laugh, head hangs.
Unfortunately, the above is a true story…
Wow, I can’t count to save my life. Fixed version:
I gloat about braveness
See baby, high-pitch scream
Friends laugh, head hangs low.
Have another crack
I’m sure you’ll get it next time
Hint, The bottom’s 5
I don’t get it… it is 5 syllables…
Am I missing something? XD
You’ve got 6,6,5, so you need to tweak those first two lines.
I gloat about braveness – 6 (about and braveness =2 each)
See baby, high-pitch scream – 6
Friends laugh, head hangs low. 5
You want 5,7,5 your close but might have to reword the first line
I gloat in braveness
See baby, high-pitch screaming
Friends laugh, head hangs low.
OK, Now I’m CERTAIN it’s right! XD
Thanks guys!
elevator shuts
finally, my heart slows
door opens, bricks are shat
Rattling from the vent
Panicked i blast it away
damn, just the air con…
Annhiliated.
My broken limbs float within
Zero Gravity.
I MEAN ANNIHILATED BLUH
… Damnit.
Fix that last line as…
door opens, shat bricks
A long corridor
I walk down.. nothing happens,
Pause game and change pants.
Darkness all around
Gore splashes onto my face
Get me a tissue
I have a 360 (Not that my pisspoor attempt is gonna win)
The prince of Persia ones were way funnier. Prolly thanks to shirtless Jake!
Played the first Dead Space,
Scared off after one hour,
Two achievements unlocked.
(Kotaku can email me for my Gamertag for proof). ๐
the voices of ghosts,
this is a load of barnacles,
still scary though
Abadoned station,
Necromorphs ambush me now,
Damn the vents!
Heart pounds heavily
Skin crawls, breathe halts, blood boils
Shields at forty-nine.
(Reference to ‘Don’t Get Cocky, Kid’ achievement if that wasn’t clear)
this
I panic, I run
Corpse wakes up, says hello sir
I jump higher than
Are we allowed multiple entries? If not, I’d like this one to be accepted rather than the other.
Let me try that again >_>
this
.
.
.
.
.
I panic, I run
Corpse wakes up, says hello sir
Jump higher than
Lost in the darkness
You tap me on the shoulder
Embarrassing squeal
floating in space,
dismembered limbs surround,
the church of unitology was wrong.
The light turns on
Your brother starts to talk
Urge to kill, rising…
Necromorphs abound
Playing with my head and heart
Cutter is the key
Oh crap, i have just
shat myself, as i did now fight a
necromorph, i’m dead
Employed at NASA,
Playing the game one weekend,
Resign next Monday.
Have not played this game
Do not wish to pay for it
How bout a free copy
+1
Is this going to be a PC (on Steam) Copy, or an EggsBox 360 / Pee S-Tree copy?
Seconded, CAN he win?
It’s quiet out here.
In space, can anybody
hear me scream? Zombie!
Whispers in the dark,
They are coming for me now,
Refrigerator.
Oh dear God, look out,
There’s a monster behind you!!
It’s just a game… right?
Good, there’s no zombies
Oh god there’s a demon cow
Eat laser bovine
Swimming stages suck.
Zero Gravity as well.
Space Water Temple.
The only thing I hated about Ocarina of Time was the water stage. Same goes for the zero gravity bit in dead space.
I hear a silent noise
Then a very loud shriek
My me is calling me for dinner
Bought this game on Steam.
Slow mouse-look terrifying.
I need a gamepad.
engineer in space
visceral fear everywhere
dead bodies there, stomp
Lack of oxygen,
All our forts belong to them,
Making me go derp.
Hmm, this isn’t scar-
-HOLY CRAP! Out of nowhere:
Giant tentacle.
An lost mining starship,
Issac wears a gnarly suit,
Limbs everywhere.
*A* lost mining starship…
Peh, it wasn’t like I was going to win anyway.
I woke up my wife
when I screamed like a big girl
no sex for a month
Gun Feels Lighter
The Darkness Roars to Life
All I hear is Click
Leon Kennedy
Dismembers Los Ganados.
Hey, this isn’t Spain.
I remember nought
All my memories repressed
Only fear recalled
Bought Dead Space, Day One.
Two Years later, Never Played.
Girlfriend Won’t Let Me!
๐
Verily I play,
A game that will astound me,
Hark what is that noise?
I walk down the hall
Plasma Cutter in hand….ARRRRGH!
Barb’ra Streisand!!!!
lol barbera streisand! classic!
Curse your black heart Barbara Streisand!!
That’s supposed to be Barbara (not Barb’ra) Streisand, damn sleep deprivation not noticing typos (Looking at it now if you read that line literally it wouldn’t meet the 5 syllable requirement without the correct, so lucky I spotted it).
I’m out of bullets,
Cold necro up in my grill,
Girly scream, game over
this beautiful death
Hail to the hive mind
Make us Whole Again
I sat down to play,
10 minutes in i stopped,
then i changed my pants
OH SHIT! OH MY GOD!
DIE DIE… ahhh, okay… it’s dead…
OH SHIT NO IT’S NOT!
See writing in blood…
Be vewy vewy quiet
Necromorph season!
Psychological
Can far more effective
At least for horror
Zombies everywhere.
Why am I playing this game?
Rip-off of Doom3.
Dark corner, resting
Into the light, reloading
Overwhelmed, hold breath
This isn’t so bad
Ishimura seems quite nice
What a quaint hall- CHOMP!
I’m floating in space.
No sound. No warning. Oh Gosh!
Floating with no face.
+1 for the rhyme
Things crawling in walls
Surround Sound adds scariness
Wait, it’s just white ants
A Corridor calls
You open a door slowly
Fuck, killed from behind
Flying limbs and bits,
necromorph watch out now cause
plasma cutter wins
Bump, Clang, Crash, what’s that?
OH My GOD fugly scary monster
Girlfriend says ‘Not nice.’
Slow creep to doorway
Omnipresent mutterings
Dread in not knowing
With scary gameplay
Soil your undergarments
Change of unnies please
“Til death do we part”
Wedding ring floats in to space
Thoroughly parted
Not about Issac and Nicole, by the way. I know they’re not married.
I’ve forever thought
Space Zombies were awesome
Wait, what’s “delimbing”?
These graphics are sweet!
Look, my spine’s turned all red!
Oh wait, that’s my health…
Creepy voice singing
‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’
Sends shivers down spine
This is somewhat unrelated to the competition but…
I decided to check out Dead Space a few years ago without knowing what it would be like. A voice started singing ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ and I had no idea what was going on. To my suprise, a necromorph appeared out of nowhere and gave me a fright I’ll never forget. I wasn’t expecting it to be a horror game and that very moment in the trailer was what got me hooked to not only Dead Space but the Horror genre all together.
I ended up buying Dead Space on release and loved every moment of it. ๐
Multi limbed horror
I don’t want to know which bit
Is eating my face
YES! The return of the haiku! Might wanna edit the post and state whether multiple entries are allowed?
Slowly down the hall
The creature bursts from a vent
My pants have been shat
I think that sums it up. PS3 if I win ๐
I hate this feeling
The terror felt when I play
I can not resist
Play a horror game
Expect suspense and true scares
But, just shock horror.
Dismembered zombies,
Girlfriend freaks out, leaves the room,
Now I am at peace.
Engulfing darkness
Nothing is seen, only heard
Damn brightness settings
Baby stabbing face
Grab them, slam them, kick their face
Oh sh*t, more babies
I play during day,
Whilst my wife holds my hand,
My balls recede.
Jesus, what was that
Why is my torch so tiny
Fuck vents of every kind
Whoops
Jesus, what was that
Why is my torch so tiny
Fuck vents of all kinds
I’m a bit tired and read that as “Why is my torch so shiny”, and thought you must be trying to play it really hardcore…
Either way it sounds like he’s talking about his penis!
and he likes to put it in vents!! Ouch!
Actually on second reading, that’s outright pornography!!
How did this pass moderation!!
Vents of all kinds indeed!!
Game is out soon,
Waiting alone in the dark,
Horror that will come.
That high-pitched screaming,
neither necro nor tv,
is coming from me…
Scary shit happening
and isaac says nothing at all
why does he not speak?
woops, i needed to proof read that xD
ahem
scary shit happens
isaac says nothing at all
why does he not talk?
I played at midnight
With headphones in, lights off
I crapped my pants fast
I MISSED A BIT I DIDN”T MEAN TO!!!
I played at midnight
With headphones on, loud, lights off,
I crapped my pants fast
Hope I don’t get disqualified for that!!!
Crank volume
Legs removed from torso
Xbox power off
In this place, nowhere.
Time stands still, bodies, monsters.
One more step, lured in dead space.
Enter elevator
Nervously await destination
OH SHIIIIIIIII-
Dark hallway,dead end.
Shadows on my back, turn around…
one way out: *Chick chick*
Dressed in meccano,
All sharp edges and stuff,
Need an allen key to get out!
Atmosphere sets tone
Horrors sear my eyes and nose
Now I shut my fridge
๐
necromorph leaps out
charges with bloodthirsty roar
shoots legs, CURB STOMP!
PLEASE STOP CHASING ME!
OH MY GOD, WHY WON’T YOU DIE?
Oh, you just freeze it…
Oh my goddamn crap
What in god’s sweet name was that?
I think I just shat
Movement in air duct,
Pupils dilate, palms sweating
Maybe it’s nothing…?
Dead Space had it all.
Backwards men with many limbs,
Demon babies too.
Are multiple entries allowed? It doesn’t say it’s not allowed in the T&C.
(Read it like Horatio Caine).
Dead Space is very strange.
I guess you could say that it
Isnโt ‘dead at allโ YEAH.
Meme reference, you win!
What’s this game about?
Dude with a toaster grill mask?
Seems alright I guess.
…yeah I never played the first. Not even the Wii one I picked up cheap ages ago ๐
Crap my pants
Change them
Crap them again
I look at the box
I see the MA rating
I run for the hills
:O
Playing Dead Space while
Home from work sick with gastro –
Not a good idea…
Visibility?
See less than LeVar Burton,
Get better helmet!
the blast door opens
asteroids crash in silence
sharp intake of air
Three a.m. feed time.
Play Dead Space nursing baby.
Nappies not for him.
The whispers of death
They call, writhing and insane
Trembling i scream sound
I’m from Morphs-B-Gone
Heard you had a pest problem?
Damn where are my legs…
Plasma Cutter set
Strategic dismemberment
Nothing will survive
Hope its not too late ๐
Seriously, guys.
My peripheral vision
Is obscured, blue.
Lights suddenly die
My senses heighten in fear
A bead of sweat drops.
Sorry for the multiples, but its just too addictive! I really liked the first game (and the survival horror genre in general) so I’m hoping they don’t mess with the formula too much in terms of the action/suspense balance (ala Resident Evil).
Route set to Console.
What evil lies before me?
Wait. Was that Nicole?
Multiplayer mode,
A horror genre mistake?
Sequel will decide…
Engineers unite!
Plumbers used to win the girl,
Things about to change.
free games are the best
especially when you are
a college student
i want to play this
because i enjoy getting
my pants wet with pee
scary games are great
they make me cry like a girl
like my cat just died
getting my hopes up.
as i play a P S 3.
will this be for me?
Light swings back and forth
fearing the shrinking shadows
playing in the dark
I stand in silence,
Then voices speak from nowhere,
Quiet now, oh no…
Screw tinder boxes
Stupid Necromorphs all around me
You owe me new pants
Oh Plasma Cutter,
You are the loveliest gun.
You are all I need.
Also guys jeez read the post it says how scared/excited/terrified when you played the first one or the 2 demo.
I hate Dead Space 2
I’m lying when I say
They scare me so much
OH GOD NECROMORPHS
They’re lame and shaky
OH MY GOD MY HANDS
They’re bored from this game
They’re chasing me around
Wow this game is lame
I’m lying when I say
Holy shit this game is awesome
Now read this upwards
playthrough number two,
advanced combat suit is mine,
you’re all fucking dead
Walk down a hallway,
See guy banging head on wall,
Must’ve heard Justin Beiber.
I hope this works, I wanted to submit a funny one! (I’m assuming everyone remembers that scene where there’s the guy smashing his head into the wall until he dies? That really freaked me out…)
AHH! Wait, that doesn’t quite work.
Walk down a hallway,
See guy banging head on wall,
Mustโve seen Twilight.
Since others are submitting multiple entries I thought I might as well join in on the fun (poetry has never been this entertaining!)
Over in eight hours
Nightmares haunt me forever
BRING ON THE SEQUEL >:D
A silent hero
Should of remained that way
Now, shut the **** up! >8(
Kept up all night long
Waiting for a store update
Did not come ’till five :/
My heart is broken
Taking my cutter away
How dare you EA! :,(
If we’re not allowed additional entries just choose the best out of the bunch for consideration.
Isn’t this game like Resident Evil Four?
Wait, I believe it’s space…
Help! I think something’s eating my face
Dead Space is a game
about cutting up the dead.
Also, it’s in space.
The hell is that thing!?
Stasis, shoot and kinesis
Arm now lodged in face
Some more.
Sweat-inducing fear
Heartbeat pounds, nerves twitch, eyes close
That’s just the demo
Many fires in space
Thought there was no oxygen
I am confused
Imagine the shock
I defeated the last boss
Only two shots left
Let’s be more than friends
Share a few nights together
Necro’s – my first love
I installed D.S
Screamed in horror like a girl
computer crashed
AHH! A NECROMORPH!
SARAH JESSICA PARKER!
PLEASE BURN IT WITH FIRE!
Good luck everyone on the competition! ๐
For an overview of haiku praised by Japanese and American haiku writers check out: http://www.withwords.org.uk/what.html
Alan, With Words
Strolling down the hall
Raped by a huge tentacle
It burns when I pee.
and/or
A slasher jumps out
I startle and fumble. Shit.
Decapitated.
a smell stops me dead
charred flesh and wailing creatures
oh, it’s marks burnt feet
[slow clap]
As soon as I play the Demo
I felt the goosebumps,
I knew it was about time…