While You Were Sleeping

While you were sleeping, face squished into a dog's fluffy, soft body, drooling all over yourself, stuff happen. Video game stuff. Thankfully we've rounded up some of the highlights from last night while you were deep in slumber, so here it is!

Over the weekend Grand Theft Auto III had its 10th birthday, making me feel pretty, bloody well old. I was a fully functioning adult when that game came out. I was bloody well 20 years old! Honestly I completely remember the first time I ever saw it in action. Because, strangely, I was like - meh! How wrong I was in hindsight. This piece takes a look at the birth of a media scapegoat.

When I was invited to a Microsoft media event this Wednesday, I had a slight inkling that, perhaps, this might be the announcement of Kinect voice control for Australia. At this point, considering I rarely use Kinect, I really couldn't care less, but I feel like the feature is some injustice that needs to be resolved. Here's hoping.

This cosplay is completely incredible. I really mean that. This is the best ever Zombies Ate My Neighbours arcade machine, and this is the trailer for Modern Warfare 3. Activision is claiming it's the most anticipated game in history - what say you?

In Short Grand Theft Auto III: The Birth Of A Media Scapegoat Best Ever Zombies Ate My Neighbours Arcade Machine The Blizzcon 2011 Costume Contest Winner Must Be Seen To Be Believed Is This Really The Most Anticipated Game In History Kinect To Finally Learn Australian Next Wednesday?


    The next TIE Fighter game would be my most anticipated game... but surely, based on the complaining alone, Final Fantasy 7 HD has to be the most anticipated game in history.


      Screw that, I'm waiting for "Bare Chested Knife Fight 3: The Confrontation"

        I play the IRL version every Friday night.




        I should probably stop drinking scotch.

        Pfft, they'll likely casualise the hell out of it, add unnecessary multiplayer modes that you'll need a code for, put 3s everywhere in the title (making it "Bar3 Ch3st3d Knif3 Fight: Th3 Confrontation") and make certain knives retailer preorder exclusives. Give me "Bare Chested Knife Fight II: The Stabbening" anyday.

          I'd say the original game was the best, 2 was just a yearly update to the first. Changing around the knife properties for no reason, and adding 2 new characters which were USELESS. Hank Rockland, the lumberjack? That stupid hairy Czechoslovakian Chef? Please, I'll stick with my main, Vince the Inmate, thank you very much.

          That, and his custom finisher with the Shiv was just *awesome*. 3 stupidly had him released from prison and his moveset changed from the look of things. Bah.

            Oh 1 was definitely the best of the lot, but I think you're selling 2 a little short. I'll give you that the knife properties change was a little strange, but shivs became more viable as a result, which made for a bit more variety in effective weapon choice. And while Hank Rockland was an absolute joke, Czech Chef was a beast once you got his 'Czech Out Mah Biceps!' super into his eclectic playstyle, and the 'Czechs in the Mail' finisher was just plain brutal, especially against smaller characters such as Sinister Simian.

            You are definitely right though; Vince's custom finisher is by far the greatest thing to come out of any BCKF game. Having him released from prison is a stupid idea though. That'd be like having Sinister Simian kick his addiction to banana-flavoured steroid smoothies, or having Sam Gunsworthy not actually be two toddlers in a cowboy suit.

              Man, reminiscing about this series makes me want to re-play it. Gonna go through the story mode again tonight.

              Also, I'm so glad I imported the uncut version here in Australia. For some reason the OFLC decided that Sinister Simian's reveal as being 2 toddlers was "distasteful", so they cut that scene from the game, along with... what was it, 3 finishers? Pissed me off, since Vince's EX Throw is literally stabbing them in the Bicep mid-punch then using the embedded knife to hip-toss them. Crazy, Crazy shit.

              Also, hands up on who has won a fight with a punctured lung?? I did it, greatest feeling in the world.

              .... I wish that game series was real. Y_Y

                I knew they cut your medication far too early...

                  I can dream! My only 2 wishes are for a Bare Chested Knife Fight game, and a movie about Battle Trains. Sorta like Master and Commander, trains with cannons and shit, in epic train fights.

                  "GO LEFT! We gotta get in front of them!"
                  *explodes from cannon fire*

          I do need to admit though, the pre fight minigames such as table overturning and bar threats look pretty sweet.

            Brb, Gonna do up a reader review of "Bare Chested Knife Fight 3"

    Drooly Skinflaps McDroolington again?

    I guess that face *is* irresistible.

    Bare Chested Knife Fight 3: The Confrontation Reader Review
    (Xbox 360)

    Well, Bare Chested Knight Fight 3 has hit store shelves today, and after BCKF2’s Miniscule changes (some which divided fans), does the Third entry into the series proved to be a proper sequel, or is it destined to follow the fate of yearly sports titles?


    Let’s face it, BCKF has a great combat model, which caters to both the button mashy crowd and those wanting to learn the intracies of the system. You have both slash and stab attacks mapped to the X and Y buttons, with A being guard and the B being the counter button, along with the shoulder triggers for modifiers. It initially seems simple enough, but factoring in each character’s unique movesets and combo timings, and you have a fairly unique combat system

    -Damage Models
    The graphics have seen a dramatic upgrade from BCKF2. Fighters are much more lifelike, with sweat dripping down their chests and realistic slash wounds that incorporate actual liquid physics for the blood. Safe to say, the proprietary BEARD engine from Twisted Pixel really shines in this one.

    There’s something exhilarating about starting a fight not only by flipping a table up in the air, but a before-match QTE minigame involving ripping off your flannelette shirt. Then the match begins, and it’s glorious. Backstep dodges where you can see a blade catch a tuft of your chest hair, the thrilling slice as a beer glass or shiv cuts through someone’s arm, or wincing as someone pulls off a Finisher which involves a brief window of timed slashes to their torso to activate. The damage model again does wonders here, as all injuries are calculated in real time, so you know exactly when your steak knife has entered between the ribs of the waiter from Sizzler.

    (Please keep the formatting, kotaku)

      -New Knives
      It might just be me, but it seems a lot of the touted “20+ new knives” in the trailer are nothing more than window dressing, which adds nothing new to the game. The old favorites such as the Kitchen, Butcher, Bowie and Carving knives return, and are just as awesome as ever, and the crowd pleasing serrated butterfly returns as well, along with the new ability to do trick flips with it. However, the newer ones just aren’t as useful. Who in their right mind would bring a butter knife into a fight?

      The soundtrack is mostly forgettable, and kind of reminds me of Flat-Out 2, with more annoyance from Kid Rock. The songs did nothing for me, and the option of having a custom playlist would go a long way. At least it didn’t follow the route of BCKF2 and Burnout: Dominator with 5 separate versions of Avril Lavine’s “I could be your girlfriend”

      -Vince the Inmate
      Oh my god, how could they have stuffed this one up? They took what is essentially their “Ryu” character, removed everything notable about him, and gave him a crappier moveset. Gone is his “Shiv your back” move, and replaced with a generic Knife Uppercut. Even his trademark Custom Finisher, that had him re-enacting the opening scene of Eric Bana’s “Chopper” is gone, replaced with some backflipping knife pirouette shit. His trademark yellow jumpsuit and shaved head have been replaced with Jeans, a tank top and a friggin’ Bandanna. Why they removed him from the prison the first game was set in is beyond be, parole be damned.

      A worthy sequel to the first game, and a noted improvement on the second. However, I’m worried about BCKF4, as if they don’t do something drastic with the formula, it will get very stale. Worth the money if you’re a fan, but wait for a price drop if you’ve yet to jump into the work of knives and bare chests.

      “You Awright? Here, have a cigarette, mate” - Vince

        I want to make babies with your mind.

          Mark should let us do fake reader reviews for games we all want someday. I so want a Wolverine game styled like Assassin's Creed. :(

        y'know, you could just get a team together and make it. You just need a programmer and an artist (You're obviously the designer). Use XNA and it can run on a 360.
        There's a whole bunch of people trying to get into the industry who will do it for free.
        Also, you guys made me laugh like hell and had me utterly confused because I thought it was a REAL game. Thanks.

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