Next weekend, European Splatoon 2 players will have the chance to weigh in on how toilet paper should be loaded. Front roll or back roll? It’s a question that could only be asked by someone who’s never wiped their arse before.
The event runs from October 7-8 and will feature one of the strangest showdowns to-date, upping the ante from Splatfest #2 in Japan which pitted chicken nuggets against french fries. But while that showdown is more or less a matter of taste, front roll vs. back roll is a matter of science.
Seth Wheeler, the inventor who patented a toilet paper roll with tear-off sheets, submitted his creation in the following configuration:
The long forgotten images from over a century ago drew attention back in 2015 when the fight over how to properly load toilet paper rolls took over Facebook. Front rollers, obviously outraged over the fact that the correct answer was in dispute, tried to use the original patent to convince back roller heretics.
If the paper is loaded in behind, then when it tears you’re shit out of luck. Load it with the roll feeding over the top, however, and you’ll always have a new piece within easy reach (or, if you’re like me, you are way to busy to do anything other than sit the new roll on top of the peg).
The debate ultimately rippled out into other parts of the internet, including the original Splatoon, which came out in the spring of that year. Splatfests got their start in that game, with some of the first few exploiting age old rivalries like cats vs. dogs, rock music vs. pop and rice vs. bread. You may remember the infamous Splatfest in which the pink starfish Patrick beat out his yellow buddy SpongeBob, proving just how cruel the contests could become.
I can’t believe that came true pic.twitter.com/MVb10cB2OV
— Frizer (@Frizer__) September 30, 2017
Players started making fun of the event for “asking the important questions,” leading at least one to jokingly propose front roll vs. back roll as the topic for an upcoming Splatfest. And because Nintendo’s sense of irony knows no bounds, or is otherwise nonexistent, Henry’s prognosticating has turned out to be eerily prescient.
Maybe we should have seen it coming though given the series’ early interest in toilets.
Now all that’s left is to see which sick souls actually select team back roll and try to help it along to an unwholesome and seemingly improbably victory.
Comments
9 responses to “Splatoon Toilet Paper Joke Becomes Splatfest Reality”
I can’t even begin to think which way I load a paper dispenser…
Either way it’s getting folded in to a square and applied with gentle clockwise motions to the button.
Front roll for human beings, back roll for cat owners.
I love the implication.
That cats can’t resist the paper dangling?
That cat owners aren’t human 😛
If Marina is the one promoting back-rollers, we’re in for a good show!
It’s not really a popularity contest though. You can have 4 dudes who pick one side, as long as they win 50% or more of their battles, they will win.
In the original, and I’ve seen it mentioned in 2 as well, people used to pick the least popular side as it won a few early on, which then became a self fulfilling thing. All the people that really cared about winning would pick the least popular option and lo and behold, they kept winning.
I still pick whatever side I think personally and have fun. It’s a game yo.
Apparently that was only the case in NA, every other region the results didn’t reflect that “least popular side wins” thing.
Correct, though you can add to that ‘parents of toddlers at a certain age’.
was meaning to reply to Cubits