Will Square-Enix announce they have renamed the Final Fantasy 7 remake Final Fantasy XVII? Will Isabelle from Animal Crossing appear in the new Smash for the Nintendo Switch? Is Death Stranding going to have a battle royale mode called "Last Man Stranding"? All these idiotic questions and more will be yelled, screamed, shrieked, whispered and cackled in this new quadruple-length episode of Kotaku XP, me and Gita Jackson's weekly video discussion of hot Kotaku topics!
I'm going to E3 this year. Heck, I'm flying out tomorrow morning. This will be the 15th E3 I've been to. Wow! That's a lot.
So let me tell you a story about the old days. Maybe you, like me, were around on this magic day. Though if you weren't, let me blow your mind for a second. Squaresoft - this was before they were Square-Enix - once announced Final Fantasy 9, 10 and 11 all at the same press conference.
(Note: This didn't happen at E3. Though it was a press conference, so it's on my mind.)
So what I'm saying is (and in case you haven't caught on, yes, I am being completely ridiculous) Square-Enix could announce Final Fantasy 15 DLC, Final Fantasy 16 and Final Fantasy 17 on the same day. And the shocker could be that Final Fantasy 17 is actually the Final Fantasy 7 remake.
What if Square-Enix performed this ultimate brazen manoeuvre with Final Fantasy 17? What if, in the spirit of Microsoft's skipping from Windows 8 to Windows 10, they skip Final Fantasy 16 altogether?
I wouldn't be surprised. I would, however, "cackle so hard my trachea dissolves," as I say on this week's Kotaku XP.
Do you want to hear more stuff like this? Well, that's what our episode is about this week.
Also, hey, we're trying something slightly new for this episode. As usual, you can watch the episode on this page, though there's an audio version for this episode, if you want to download that. You'll miss out on a couple of stupid visual jokes that I am proud of, though you can still hear all of our words!