Fork Parker is here to take your money, in exchange for cheaply made games. He’s Devolver Digital’s chief financial officer, and we’re mostly probably kinda maybe sure he’s joking.
Know what’s a great way to make someone actually pay attention to your press release out of the mountains of press releases they receive? Make it funny. More and more developers have been doing it, and when you see that email pop up in your inbox, you know it’s good for a chuckle.
But somewhere along the line, Devolver Digital figured out that they could skip the media side of things and bring that humour right to the public. Fork Parker was born — a fat cat triple-A publisher who wants to take your money and shove DLC, microtransactions and game-breaking day zero bugs down your throat.
At times, Parker is brutally honest. Rarely, he’s serious. Mostly, he pokes fun at industry trends. Take this little piece of a press release, when Parker is commenting on the new expansion for the Talos Principle:
“The original plan was to divide The Talos Principle: Road to Gehenna into over 100 different $US5 DLCs but the Devolver Digital DLC Ethics Department advised against it,” noted Devolver Digital CFO Fork Parker. “That particular department has subsequently been disbanded.”
Happily, Fork Parker has a Twitter account, and currently 10,000 people can hear his rants about how publishers should be charging more for games and customers should chill out about silly things like DRM.
All the while, referring to his customers as nerds and bragging about fat stacks of cash. Some of it could be more subtle… But I had a good chuckle.
We thought it’d be funny to collect the best tweets of this year, and pop them below. Enjoy!
Buy my clown hugging simulator, nerds. http://t.co/60BjiC8Sbi pic.twitter.com/M1WmDFzVpl
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) September 10, 2015
Hey young people a hilarious meme to use all the time would be ‘Netflix and Chill and Buy Devolver Digital Games at Full Price’ haha use it.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) September 9, 2015
Review scores were better when the scale started with ‘Comatose’ and ended with ‘Shotgun Blast of Cocaine’ pic.twitter.com/2XQpA8lQvn
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) September 7, 2015
The marketing team had a 70 inch screen for Broforce @ PAX and I told them ‘what are we poor’ so now it’s 360 inches. pic.twitter.com/FvYrfIxNtY
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) August 29, 2015
If Trump becomes president it feels like we should make @Broforce half price outside the U.S. as an apology.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) August 20, 2015
Shout to people buying @DevolverDigital games at full price a day after our Steam Weekend Sale is over. You’re the real heroes.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) August 18, 2015
Can you monetize game developer tears? Asking for a friend.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) August 13, 2015
End every paragraph of your legal contracts with “…maaaaaaybe” just so you’re covered.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) August 11, 2015
Every time someone comments to “just add multiplayer” in a game, somewhere a developer gets diarrhea.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) July 30, 2015
If you drink enough Mountain Dew every game is 60 frames per second.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) July 22, 2015
Do I have any legal recourse? pic.twitter.com/Izi8Id7Ljv
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) July 13, 2015
Make sure the first impression fans have of your billion dollar movie is an off-screen mobile phone video with poor audio. Fans love that.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) July 12, 2015
Broforce press releases basically write themselves. pic.twitter.com/sVW4MO928M
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) July 3, 2015
Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. pic.twitter.com/ooZpGIXYwu
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) June 26, 2015
[SPONSORED TWEET] Nachos are delicious.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) May 23, 2015
People will retweet anything.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) May 19, 2015
We’re so close to my dream of a special edition that is just toys, art books, soundtracks, etc. but no actual game. pic.twitter.com/c4CGiy4JnB
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) May 13, 2015
Devolver Digital is only going to publish “top ten games” from now on. Seems so obvious in retrospect. pic.twitter.com/brVzKDJLMW
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) May 6, 2015
Pre-order Titan Souls to get the exclusive 10/10 version. After launch it’s 8/10 at best. http://t.co/msZJwx1hqJ pic.twitter.com/IvrvX5D93m
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) April 4, 2015
Get ready for hilarious April Fools’ pranks that had to be run through marketing and legal departments six months ago.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) April 1, 2015
Shout out to people in Australia that somehow bought Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number. pic.twitter.com/vCqHalyY6Y
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) March 18, 2015
Gears of War and Cooking Mama are set in the same universe. Look it up.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) February 20, 2015
The top-selling games on Steam right now are AAA pre-orders and unplayable zombie games so keep that in mind when complaining about both.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) January 20, 2015
The Australian Classification Board’s description of the Hotline Miami 2 scene in question is more graphic than the actual scene.
— Fork Parker (@ForkParker) January 15, 2015
Comments
One response to “The Best Of Fork Parker’s Publisher Satire”
Not bad, not bad at all.
I also liked Sony’s ad pitbull, whatever his name was. He was a great pisstake, the Fox news pundit of gaming.
God, I love Fork. So much! <3