It is 2019. Valve just announced a new Half-Life game. All bets are off now. Quit your job. Buy a lottery ticket. Fail to win the lottery. Buy several more lottery tickets. Fail again. Give up. Sell your car so you can make rent. Go online. Find out that the new Half-Life is a VR game. Compose an irate tweet about how you can’t afford it. Live your dreams.
Half-Life: Alyx, announced yesterday by Valve in what still feels like an impossible fever dream but was actually just a post on Twitter, is set to be the company’s “flagship VR game.” This has left fans in an odd spot. On one hand, it’s more Half-Life. Finally! After more than a decade of waiting. On the other hand, it’s not Half-Life 3, and on top of that, it’s a VR game, meaning it’ll require an expensive headset and a powerful PC. While it makes sense that Valve would want to create a killer app for its Valve Index VR platform, it’s still been a bitter pill to swallow for some of the Half-Life series’ vocal fans. Here’s what they’re saying:
Valve: There will be a new #HalfLife game.
Everyone: YES! We’ve been waiting forever!
Valve: It will be VR only.
Everyone: But… I don’t have a-
Valve: pic.twitter.com/teXIoOJPqi
— Dave “Lasercorn” Moss (@LaserCorn) November 19, 2019
Half Life 3 announced!*
*for Virtual Boy pic.twitter.com/3AqBHkb0fO
— Ben Bertoli (@SuperBentendo) November 18, 2019
Pictured: me, one second after learning that Valve is making another HALF-LIFE and one second before learning it’s a VR game pic.twitter.com/sV5zEtlv2m
— Visionary Director Scott Wampler™ (@ScottWamplerBMD) November 18, 2019
NEW HALF LIFE It’s VR
GAME pic.twitter.com/uTK4V0bfOt— Varu (@varudox) November 18, 2019
New Half Life game will take place in a “virtual reality” where Valve is actually making a new Half Life game
— pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) November 18, 2019
“I mean like VR looks cool but I don’t know, there aren’t really any big games for it you know? It needs a big game to sell me.”
“FUCK YOU VALVE HOW DARE YOU MAKE HALF-LIFE ALYX A VR GAME”— Todo (kete) (@NotRealTodokete) November 18, 2019
Half Life, 3 logos https://t.co/uDfMaiiAKu
— Porygon (@PorygonNews) November 18, 2019
Inb4 Half-Life: Alyx is a game mostly about playing fetch with Dog and will have nothing to advance the Half-Life story.
— Civvie11 (@Civvie11) November 19, 2019
Have all the impossible dreams come true?
A new Half Life game
Shenmue 3 is about to release
FF7 Remake is mere months away
Last Guardian came outLike what’s left??
— Jon Cartwright (@JonComms) November 18, 2019
YES I KNOW ABOUT HALF-LIFE: ALYX
YES I KNOW IT’S NOT HALF-LIFE 3
YES I’M DISAPPOINTED
YES I’M STILL PLAYING THE FUCK OUTTA IT
ok did i cover all the questions
— Mitsu (@MitsuShow) November 18, 2019
Fucked up how half life 3 literally got announced today and i see more people talking about the milf from pokemon
— miles (@hexjo22) November 19, 2019
can’t wait for Half-Life 3 Labo where you assemble boxes irl and then beat the absolute shit out of them with a wrench
— Kokiri ???? (@sleepykokiri) November 19, 2019
Half-Life 3 is finally going to come out, it’ll get a 70 on Metacritic, and then videogames will be over forever
— Terence Wiggins (@TheBlackNerd) November 19, 2019
Half-Life is already trending.
It’s time for memes. pic.twitter.com/I6m6LvYbGD— Jolly Ol’ St. Dmitri ☃️ (@LinkDmitriLink) November 18, 2019
look i know its vr but finally a new half life game pic.twitter.com/T1BGB7nGsp
— Sparky (@sparkie237) November 19, 2019
Scorching hot take: Almost everyone who cares about Half-Life is close to or over 40 and the only valuable bit left of the franchise is the HL3 running gag pic.twitter.com/hoj04G0wgE
— ✨ ashley ???? esqueda ✨ (@AshleyEsqueda) November 19, 2019
fuck half life look at how my cat is sitting pic.twitter.com/B4B97txCo8
— hoho (@holy_vicar) November 18, 2019
“I wish Valve would make a new Half-Life”
*the monkey’s paw curls a finger* https://t.co/elJNZzc0ly
— Jason Schreier (@jasonschreier) November 18, 2019
looking forward to half-life: alyx, in which a combine soldier will demand that I pick up a can, and I will be able to reach out and gently caress his face before slapping him so hard that he crashes through a nearby wall
— nathan grayson (@Vahn16) November 18, 2019
You say Half-Life: Alyx
I say Half-Life: Barney pic.twitter.com/TrgkFOqEIM— Valkyrie (@voxelized) November 18, 2019
Thank you @ValveNewsNetwor for giving me a reason to draw this girl. pic.twitter.com/fYFmis4slY
— Rachell [REDACTED] (@RedactedRachell) November 18, 2019
valve please please please bring back half-life, portal, and my dad
— Hard Drive (@HardDriveMag) November 18, 2019
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